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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Teen party here - your house rules?

42 replies

Haffdonga · 10/11/2015 17:41

So ds (16) wants a party. Oh shit I'm of a mind to agree simply because he's a sensible, studious and hardworking kid and has always had a quiet-ish social life. (I'm actually delighted he's suddenly becoming a social being.)

DS doesn't drink much but his friends do and the thought of a house full of drunken vomiting teenagers is my idea of an absolute nightmare. So what are reasonable rules to apply about numbers of people, times and alcohol.

My suggestion to ds is only 5 friends, no alcohol and they can all play monopoly until 10pm. He thinks IABU. Wink

OP posts:
Ravingloony · 10/11/2015 19:22

Are you planning on being there or leaving them to it?

Savagebeauty · 10/11/2015 19:23

Don't leave the house Grin

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 10/11/2015 19:24

Not too many guests. You agree to supply a certain amount of alcohol and no one is to bring any (watch any one drinking out if a water bottle, normally vodka!). Have s time it will end.,

Leeds2 · 10/11/2015 19:35

You are a braver lady than me!

If I were to allow a party (and believe me I wouldn't!), I would have it in the summer so that they could have a BBQ (I think you need food to absorb the alcohol) and any damage would be restricted to the garden. Even better if you have a marquee/gazebo in case of rain, and an outside loo!

Original poster
Haffdonga · 10/11/2015 21:00

Thank you! We're said we wont leave the house but will stay out of the way.

What is a fair time for it to end and number of guests? (considering we live in a fairly average sized house in a suburban area with elderly neighbours)

OP posts:
titchy · 10/11/2015 21:04

8pm till midnight. Supply beer and cider - do not allow vodka. Order pizza for halfway through to soak up alcohol imbibed thus far. No more than 20. Wine for yourselves. Lots of wine.

titchy · 10/11/2015 21:05

Disagree about summer - better in winter as they'll stay indoors and not disturb neighbours too much

AtiaoftheJulii · 10/11/2015 21:12

I wouldn't supply any alcohol, because they'll still bring their own (unless you're planning to search them at the door!). Dd arrived quite late at a party where the parents had supplied beer and cider, and was greeted by a scene reminiscent of the last days of Rome, with people vomiting everywhere.

Put away anything that you would be pissed off if it got damaged. Stay in the house. Supply food and soft drinks. Work out numbers depending on the size of your house, and how far you want them to allow them to spread out - twenty is plenty in one room.

Original poster
Haffdonga · 10/11/2015 21:44

20 till midnight with pizza. That sounds do-able. famous last words

God I'm dreading this!

OP posts:
Ravingloony · 10/11/2015 22:29

We let dd have party in the summer, so out in the garden mostly. We went out at 6 and came back at just before 11. They brought their own drinks and ordered pizza and it was fine. The neighbours didn't complain Grin

If they know you are in the house they should reign it back and behave. Just keep popping in and out now and again to remind them you are there Wink

Bunbaker · 10/11/2015 22:43

When I was 16 my mum allowed alcohol, but the rule was no spirits.

Don't go out. Don't hover, but be in the background if needed.

DD went to a party the other week and some idiot brought in some Tramadol and offered it around so be aware of stuff like that happening.

Floundering · 10/11/2015 22:50

Oh and make sure your DS doesn't advertise it on FB or any other social media & ask him to make sure his mates don't (as far as he is able) many teens have no settings on their accounts & every last inanity gets shared, you'll end up with loads of gate crashers ( sorry not helpful)

I would also make sure as any of his guests parents are aware of the arrangement as you can so they are all on the same page re alcohol. Obv you probably won't know most of them from Adam but worth a try!!

Good luck!

ChipsandGuac · 10/11/2015 22:59

Isn't it illegal to supply alcohol to under 18s?

I would say no spirits and if they bring themselves a small amount of alcohol you don't want to know about it iygwim. Admittedly, we've used this rule as a) we live in a draconian drinking age area and b) we know of people who lost their jobs as they supplied alcohol to their teenage son's friends at a party.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 10/11/2015 23:00

No it's not Chip, not in your own home.

ChipsandGuac · 10/11/2015 23:02

I'm not sure my post makes that much sense. We knew the kids (most of whom were 18 anyhow) were bringing beer in but it was discreetly done. I also breathalyze as they leave if they're driving. I'm not going to risk my visa over a dumbarse teenager!

ChipsandGuac · 10/11/2015 23:03

Ahhhh, ttat. I guess that's different then. It is here which is why I asked!

wickedwaterwitch · 10/11/2015 23:06

Check with friends parents about alcohol

Be there

Ends at midnight

No drugs

NO posting it in facebook / anywhere public

wickedwaterwitch · 10/11/2015 23:08

And make teen clear up next day

Savagebeauty · 11/11/2015 07:50

And make teen pay for any damage Smile

hellsbells99 · 11/11/2015 07:59

Your DS needs to make it clear to his friends that it is invitation only and no 'plus ones' (unless they have asked him first). It will be fine.

uggmum · 11/11/2015 14:10

I let my dd have a party for her 16 th birthday. Very limited alcohol. 2 drinks each and nothing above 4%.
It was 9 people.
They all turned up with loads of alcohol. Ridiculous drunken behaviour. I had to separate 2 couples to prevent them having sex in my back garden.
Thank god I was home keeping an eye on them.
Never again.
Just don't do it.

titchy · 11/11/2015 14:39

To be fair it does depend on the kids involved. Although I appreciate alcohol can does encourage poor behaviour, inviting only those who you or your ds knows can behave at parties is probably the way to go. Dd only invited those who she knew weren't arseholes. Result being lots of very drunk teenagers who broke nothing and cleared up after themselves Grin

Candleabras · 11/11/2015 17:28

I wouldn't be supplying alcohol to under 18s, what happens if other parents have told their DC no drinking, and you supply them it? I'd be saying bring one bottle each, no more. No spirits. You must be mad though there'll be no parties in my house. When I was 16 my mates trashed my parents house. I was too drunk to notice the shagging and evidence in the front room.

titchy · 11/11/2015 18:18

I doubt OP, or anyone else for matter, was thinking of forcing a can of special brew down a funnel into their stomachs Hmm

Maryz · 11/11/2015 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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