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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Do your teens use Social Media?

49 replies

Koalafications · 11/09/2015 09:27

I've been thinking about how things were when I was a teenager and it's got me thinking about how much it has changed. (Have another thread trying to remember the name of a chat room I used!)

My DD is only 3 months so I'm quite far away from having to worry about her using social media but, my DB and DSis are approaching their teens (My DF remarried).

Do teenagers all use social media now?
Is there any way to avoid it?

I could only use the Internet when my parents allowed me too (and weren't on the phone - good ol' dial up!) but can you actually stop them now? Most phones have access to the Internet, I'm sure.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 11/09/2015 09:30

"Do teenagers all use social media now?"

Yes- practically all of them.

"Is there any way to avoid it?"

Why would you want to?

Savagebeauty · 11/09/2015 09:31

You teach them how to use it sensibly.
Why wouldn't you?

musicposy · 11/09/2015 09:41

You won't avoid it, no, unless you want them to be the only one not allowed to do what their friends are doing. Mine seem to live out their entire friendships on social media. I'd say facebook etc seems to be on the wane for teens, with more private media such as snapchat taking the fore (and meaning you really can't see what they're up to).

I've had lots of discussions with them about all the dangers online, and we keep the lines of communication open. Beyond that you just have to trust them and hope for the best, I think. There is worrying stuff out there but I think routers which filter the worst stuff and similar technology will improve too.

By the time your DD is a teen I'm sure the landscape will have changed again beyond all recognition and the sites my teens are on will be for old fogeys! You just have to try and learn with them and keep up with a rapidly changing world as much as you can. Let them talk about their lives, and be there to listen, even when they have obscure interests and are rambling on about boring shite. You can get practice in for that within a year or so Grin

Original poster
Koalafications · 11/09/2015 09:43

"Is there any way to avoid it?"

Why would you want to?

Was more thinking if the teen wanted to avoid it, I can see I haven't made that clear.

OP posts:
musicposy · 11/09/2015 09:44

They won't want to avoid it, well certainly no teen I know!

Original poster
Koalafications · 11/09/2015 09:44

Thanks musicposy.

I'm sure it will have all changed by the time my DD is a teen.

Just thinking of my DB and DSis at the minute. Thinking they might talk to me more openly than their DM and my DF.

OP posts:
TurnOffTheTv · 11/09/2015 09:45

Well if they want to avoid it, they just don't use it? Am I missing something?

Original poster
Koalafications · 11/09/2015 09:46

Yes, TurnOff you are. The pressure to 'fit in' as a teen.

OP posts:
Jw35 · 11/09/2015 09:48

We live in the digital age, it's hard to say how technology will look in another 10 years or more! Look what's happened in the last 10!
Can you avoid it? I doubt it!

BertrandRussell · 11/09/2015 09:49

Interesting. There's a boy in ds's social circle who doesn't use social media- he has made a sort of hipsterish choice not to, and to have the simplest possible brick phone. The others find it a real pain- somebody always has to remember to text him or ring him separately about plans. I think he's really lucky that they like him enough to put the extra effort in- many groups, I suspect, wouldn't bother.

BertrandRussell · 11/09/2015 09:52

Why do you think they might not want to, koala?

Original poster
Koalafications · 11/09/2015 09:55

Bert my DB is very sensitive, some of the stuff I read about SM makes me think might not be able to handle it.

I just worry he won't see it as optional.

OP posts:
Original poster
Koalafications · 11/09/2015 09:55

My DSis is very confident and outgoing, I think she would be fine.

OP posts:
Original poster
Koalafications · 11/09/2015 09:56

Bert that boy reminds me of a girl I went to school with. He sounds 'cool' enough to pull it off.

OP posts:
fionatalbot · 11/09/2015 10:00

Well, I have a nearly 14-year-old DS and the only social media he uses is Skype- his friends message and talk to him on it whilst playing minecraft together.
He is very wary about social media having seen the upsets, drama and general angst that is sometimes causes amongst his peers.

This reluctance to engage hasn't caused him any problems that I'm aware of and he talks to me freely about things.
My ds isn't one of the 'cool' ones but is quietly confident and has a good range of friends.

Hope this helps.

Original poster
Koalafications · 11/09/2015 10:02

That's reassuring fiona

OP posts:
AugustRose · 11/09/2015 10:05

DS started usign Facebook at 14 when he got his first phone - he is now 19. Over the years he has changed his account because of abuse when he moved schools and has times when he doesn't use it for a month or so but usually returns.

I don't use FB or twitter but DH has an account on both for our business. DD1 is 13 and doesn't use social media as far as I am aware. We have talked about it and I know some of her friends have been on FB since they were about 11 which I don't agree with but I seem to be different from everyone else. My nieces and nephew have been on since they were 10/11.

DD never asks me about it and just gives me the eye roll when I ask her what she's been doing on her phone. I hope she stays off it for some time yet, while it can be helpful for arranging stuff I have seen too much abuse - she's even had some pointed at her from her so called friend talking about her to others who then told her about it the next day.

BertrandRussell · 11/09/2015 10:11

"Bert that boy reminds me of a girl I went to school with. He sounds 'cool' enough to pull it off."

He is. But he does depend on the others to keep him in the loop. Which is a serious pain in the neck- and IMHO just not fair.

TurnOffTheTv · 11/09/2015 10:37

My 15yo uses Twitter and Instagram. In her group of friends, some have SM, some don't. It's never been a problem. If they are organising something they just group text to make sure everyone is in the loop.

HearTheThunderRoar · 11/09/2015 12:52

DD has Facebook, instagram (her favourite), twitter, snapchat and whatsapp. She says a few girls at in year avoid social media altogether.

DD's best friend only has snapchat which is a bit of a pain as she can't join in with group conversations on fb with other close friends so the group had to create a whatsapp.

SheGotAllDaMoves · 11/09/2015 13:03

Some young people don't use SM, especially FB because of it's dubious policies re selling information.

Some use it solely to keep in touch with specified groups, especially when organising social activities (and these groups were super helpful during GCSEs for the group members to check stuff and encourage each other).

Some use it a lot and are far too invested in how many instagram likes they get etc.

Broad spectrum of use.

Georgethesecond · 11/09/2015 13:09

Does the Pope shit in the woods? Grin

Mistigri · 11/09/2015 13:17

My experience is that they don't use SM in the way that adults do.

My 14 year is on record as saying that "FB is for old people". The "in" social media seems to change all the time - I know she uses Instagram, Pinterest, snapchat and whatsapp at the moment. A year or two ago it was tumblr but that doesn't seem to be cool any more.

Her nearly-teen brother is on Facebook but doesn't use it. He skypes his mates instead.

We have never had any social media dramas at all.

dingit · 11/09/2015 13:17

I sometimes wish dd didn't. Her last year (11) was very difficult, there were a couple of girls that made her life misery. She is now settling in to sixth form and making new friends, but they still managed to have a pop at her last night on Facebook group chat.

BitOutOfPractice · 11/09/2015 13:18

I have 1 15yo and a 12yo. They both LOVE social media. They get lots of fun and pleasure from it. They know the "rules" and it's never been a problem

and young people don't use FB now because it's for "old people" ie older than 20! Shock