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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Do your teens use Social Media?

49 replies

Koalafications · 11/09/2015 09:27

I've been thinking about how things were when I was a teenager and it's got me thinking about how much it has changed. (Have another thread trying to remember the name of a chat room I used!)

My DD is only 3 months so I'm quite far away from having to worry about her using social media but, my DB and DSis are approaching their teens (My DF remarried).

Do teenagers all use social media now?
Is there any way to avoid it?

I could only use the Internet when my parents allowed me too (and weren't on the phone - good ol' dial up!) but can you actually stop them now? Most phones have access to the Internet, I'm sure.

OP posts:

BitOutOfPractice · 11/09/2015 13:19

Ha! Cross post with Mistigri!

My 2 use Instagram, SnapChat and YouTube predominantly

Hulababy · 11/09/2015 19:29

My 13y DD has used Instagram since starting secondary school - age 11y.
She got Facebook last year at 12.5y - I let her have it earlier than 1y as many of her friends had it (she has a later birthday) and I deemed her sensible enough to use it.
She also now has Snapchat.

usual · 11/09/2015 19:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SouthWestmom · 11/09/2015 19:42

I hate it. When I was younger when you were at home you had to engage with your family or read etc. Now they have access to friends and strangers 24/7 and easily become home addicted. If I had a second chance I would ban phones from 8pm to 8am and longer at weekends.

SouthWestmom · 11/09/2015 19:42

Addicted not home addicted!

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 11/09/2015 19:50

My 14yo doesn't really.

She has a fb account. She's posted on it twice in 18months. Doesn't use any other social media.

usual · 11/09/2015 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SouthWestmom · 11/09/2015 21:02

Baggy harem pants and mirrored skirts here. Would be to look back at

Original poster

Koalafications · 11/09/2015 21:28

Double denim for me

Thanks for your posts. Seems that social media is as popular as I thought it would be.

Hopefully the twins will be fine when they start using Snapchat, Instagram, etc.

OP posts:

Twowrongsdontmakearight · 12/09/2015 18:56

DS 15 and DD 12 both use social media in many ways. DD seems to always have some conversation on the go with a group of friends. DS is more selective. Not sure which particular media they use at the moment but like PP it's often for talking while they play Internet games together.

It's much cheaper than the long telephone conversations we had in the 1970s!

nooka · 12/09/2015 20:02

My dd (15) is more active on SM than my ds (16), but even so she mostly surfs really. She uses various things to connect with friends but is pretty choosy who she connects to. ds only really uses SM when he is gaming, and generally just uses his PC mic, so no paper trail as it were.

I don't worry about either of them.

Bolograph · 12/09/2015 23:38

I know a couple of parents who claim their children don't use social media.

The parents are wildly, wildly wrong. Of course they are.

And it means, just like parents who assert without evidence that their teenage children aren't drinking and aren't having sex, if anything goes wrong the children can't talk to their parents because before they get to talk about why X went wrong they have to talk about the fact that they were doing X in the first place.

"My children don't use social networking" is the equivalent of parents of younger children saying things like "of course, my children don't know what television even is". It's performance parenting, but this time with significantly higher stakes.

Responsible parents teach their children about the world as it is. Irresponsible parents pretend the world is as they wish it were.

bloodyteenagers · 12/09/2015 23:53

My teens are on everything. When they started I ensured that I was a friend/follower/ whatever and that I had all log in details.
We also had chats about being safe and how things were different to real life.

Ceop is a very useful site and they have a site called thinkyouknow. There's lots of invaluable info for parents etc. it's also good for the not so tech savvy. If you register there's even more resources etc that is generally free unless you want face to face training

BackforGood · 13/09/2015 15:29

I agree with usual - it's not a 'thing' for teens, it's just part of their everyday existence, in the same way you don't make a conscious decision to use a pen - it's just there. There are also - as others have said, a mass of things in existence which can come under the umbrella of 'social media'.
A teen might choose not to bother with snapchat or Facebook or Twitter or whatever, but it's pretty unlikely / unusual to opt out of everything.
As Bert says, it would cause no end of hassle to include that young person in anything that was happening, as that's the way all arrangements are made.

cosytoaster · 13/09/2015 15:40

My teen boys both use SM but aren't addicted to it - we've never had any dramas or problems. I think I'd worry more if I had a girl - endless selfie posts and the neediness for attention/approval over appearance, but then again I suppose I don't see the more 'grounded' girls.

BrendaandEddie · 13/09/2015 15:43

do bears shit in the woods?

BackforGood · 13/09/2015 15:51

cosy - I have a boy and 2 girls. The boy is the only one who posts selfies now and then.
None of mine have a 'neediness for attention/approval over appearance' either.

Groovee · 13/09/2015 16:20

My 15 year old prefers whatsapp and snapchat over Facebook.

My nearly 13 year old uses Instagram and Twitter!

They live in a world where technology is at the heart to keep contact!

ellievasey · 21/10/2015 18:36

Have any of you mothers had trouble with your teens and tinder?

lljkk · 21/10/2015 18:44

Sheesh, OP's DC is 3 months, everything will have changed again in 13 yrs.

DD uses instagram a lot, DS uses FB a lot. They haven't really ventured further.

JustDanceAddict · 22/10/2015 11:38

They all do, from year 7 at the latest in my experience.
11 year old has insta, whats app (they live their life on this - invites go out on it, they catch up with homework, etc too. ), snapchat, ovoo - you name it, he has it. But I do check his accounts regularly.
13 year old has FB, insta, whatsapp, snapchat. She is eminently sensible and I look at her phone to check nothing 'bad' is coming in. So far, so good. She's quiet though so different from DS who is a bit more 'life and soul' and not as sensible.
If they don't have it, they are pretty much not in the 'loop', but be careful of cyber-bullying and the like.

Teentohelp · 23/10/2015 21:40

Yes. All teenagers do use social media; it's their way of communication. Not giving your child access to social media is parting them from their friendship group, making them feel left out of the group. They don't need it at a small age but when they are 13 or older, it's a definite yes.

southeastastra · 23/10/2015 21:41

my ds(14) doesn't

rogueantimatter · 25/10/2015 14:21

Hopefully by the time your baby is a teenager there will be much greater awareness of and education about the downsides of social media.

It's addictive. Dopamine is produced in anticipation of a like/comment/activity on social media sites resulting in decreased sensitivity to dopamine naturally produced as a reaction to other things (that are more wholesome).

Apparently in some places in America it's fashionable to go on a 'digital detox' retreat.

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