Unbelievably I am quite enjoying having teenagers

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I have two dc 13 and 16. At the present moment there are 6 teenagers in my living room. I am in my office which is a room in the house and I can hear every word they are saying. The other 4 kids live in the next streets to us.

There has been some fantastic negotiations regarding swopping/loaning x-box games

There has been an in depth discussion on the best popcorn flavour

There has been discussions on why their birthday is memorable, ie one is on Valentines day and one is on St Patricks day. The other 4 have boring birthdays apparently

There has not been one swear word, but every second word is that something or other sucks

And the most shocking one of all - they have all been here a couple of hours now and I offered them something to eat. Not one of them was hungry The only conclusion I can come to for that is that I must be a really awful cook

My DD was very hormonal around 10yrs. We went on one holiday where we had a daily waterfall!

The teens I know who are challenging, are not just reacting to hormones IMHO. There's a whole heap of stuff going on, from peer group to poor impulse control.

No not quite into her teens but on the brink. We've certainly had the hormonal storms though so hoping the worst has passed.

Lol, you are at the beginning of a long journey. DD is 17 and DS 19 are very easy going teenagers 90% of the time, but they still have their moments. DD is one genuinely one of lifes lovely bubbly people, she got nominated for YOPEY and was shortlisted by her friends a couple of years ago, but she still has her moments at home when she is stressed, you can see her digging around to have a go about something and she takes it out on us because she knows that we love her unconditionally (I hope)

No I have to disagree. I wouldn't argue that a 9 year old could be classed as a teen. But if you have a child on the verge of 13 who has already gone through puberty a couple of years earlier then Hell yeah. They are, to all intents and purposes, a teenager.

They are certainly more physically mature than a 14 year old who is still pre pubescent. And emotionally and hormonally far more chaotic than that same 14 year old.

My elder DB was displaying all the classic teenage angst and hormones well into his early 20s. He might no longer have been a chronologically accurate teenager but he certainly still was behaviourally.

agree with the others

a preteen really does not have the stresses of being a teenager. Wait till they have exams, have to make decisions about their future, what they want to do, where they want to go etc

I am so proud of ds this year. He didn't get the results to get him his uni of choice. He buckled down retook yr13, watched all his friends go off to uni and took stock of the situation. He looked at a few more unis and made a few more decisions about what he wanted to do and hopefully on august 13th he will get the results he wants.

No I have to disagree. I wouldn't argue that a 9 year old could be classed as a teen. But if you have a child on the verge of 13 who has already gone through puberty a couple of years earlier than

My dd had gone through puberty in year 6, you are deluded.

Probably bruffin

I wonder if it's a combination of bad hormones and some children aren't too sensitive yet others are (like some girls get PMS and others don't). Plus a personality clash with other family members.

But it's nothing really to do with rules or levels of strictness.

No, puberty is not the line in the sand between childhood and adult, it's way more complicated than that. Many girls start puberty at primary school, some boys do. Getting over the hormonal, emotional stage of puberty at 12 is not an indicator that things will go swimmingly at 14.

nicoleshitzinger I love your comment people boasting that their baby sleeps through the night and is unusually settled as a result of them following structured routines. Maybe it's the memory of years of sleepless babies that makes me treasure the teenage years more?

DS1 went through puberty at 10/11 and although he has not been a difficult teen the teenage years have brought all kinds of stresses and angst over exams, relationships etc. Doesn't mean he's not delightful though, and even at 19 I have watched him grow up and mature tremendously after cutting the apron strings a little and completing his first year at uni.

Maybe it's not just that all teenagers who are different, maybe it's parents as well? I think it helps if you can make a positive decision not to "sweat the small stuff". If you get dreadfully upset over the messiness and slowness of a teenage boy you will find it hard.

Draylon My DS1 was exactly like yours. He did mess up his GCSEs and also his A levels. He scraped into a good Uni on a foundation course, and went away without very much enthusiasm.

He came home after a month or so, and I swear he was like a different boy; chatty, pleasant, appreciative. He actually said to me when I was dropping him off at the station, "Mum I love it at Uni and I really understand why you nagged me to work harder." I nearly crashed the car.

He's just finished year 2 now and is holding down a solid 2i for the final year. He jokes that he's less burnt out than his mates and just hitting his academic stride. Honestly, the difference in him as amazing.

One of my biggest issue with teens is that the stakes are so much higher. Forget when to wean, co sleep etc, when you are dealing with your own children being old enough to have sex, drink, go out at night unaccompanied, take drugs etc...parenting a 12 year old generally doesn't give you the level of insight into The Fear teens bring

My DC aren't perfect and sometimes I tear my hair out, but generally, despite The Fear, I prefer having teens. I think I'm a better parent now as I had no patience for crafts, playing on the floor, being woken every four hours, being woken at dawn etc...I'm not patting myself on the back as I think I was a pretty crap parent when they were younger, it's just that my parenting style is more suited to older DC.

I cannot get one of my DDs out of bed in the morning though. It's a nightmare. She wears hearing aids so alarms etc are no use and vibrating ones don't do it. I can't drag her so resort to tickling her feet or letting the cat in Any suggestions gratefully received.

I can't drag her so resort to tickling her feet or letting the cat in

I tried that with the cat last week to wake ds up. it didn't work, she took one whif of "teenage boy" smell and she turned around and walked out with a disgusted look on her face. I told her she was sacked for not doing her job properly

Bruffin our cat does that thing where she walks in circles kneading her paws before lying down, so it did the trick!

I hit a low point this morning after going in to her room three times on my crutches, and kept prodding her with one of my crutches. I can imagine the call to social services...

I think I'm a better parent now as I had no patience for crafts, playing on the floor, being woken every four hours, being woken at dawn etc...I'm not patting myself on the back as I think I was a pretty crap parent when they were younger, it's just that my parenting style is more suited to older DC.

Yes, a million times yes. I hate legos.

I have a real soft spot for teenage boys. ds is 12, and fun to have around.

I have just been away for a week, (work related. not holiday) and there were a group of kids I was responsible for, including 4 teenagers. They were so lovely, really nice with the younger ones and deep thinkers.

draylon I really do believe that some young people struggle far more with the brain rebuilding work than others.

Mine are clearly suffering from it but it results in annoyances such as dropping diet coke on a cream sofa or forgetting to take your text book to an open book exam!

For one if my friends it involved her DS climbing out of a bedroom window from their hit to go clubbing, without mobile or credit card.

Then there are those who are very influenced by their peers. And if those peers are not walking the right path.

And whilst there are definitely those who parent their teens ineffectually, there are those who do everything right but the kids still come unstuck.

From their hotel not hit!

I have a teenager ( nearly 16 ) and a toddler ( 4 going on 2 )
I love many things about the teenager, seeing him grow, wondering what kind of person he will turn out to be, marvelling at all the things he knows , how he can sort out my computer and other techy problems.... his friends are mostly lovely people I like spending meals with when they come and stay , or holidays. No real stroppiness, only thing to complain about is laziness and passive resistance to things he's not interested in ( I blame it on lack of maturity ). And dirty laundry stench. And lack of showers. He was an easy toddler, the kind of kid everyone gets on with.
The toddler has been and still is, a very difficult one. I will tell you in 10 yrs time what he will have turned into..... but at the moment they are both immensely entertaining in their separate ways, and sometimes, in their interesting relationship.

my dds are in their early to mid twenties now and I remember the ages of 11-15 being the worst, although not as bad as some posters have had. Door slamming, moodiness etc.
DS is 13 and been ok so far so maybe its starts later with boys. The only thing with him is being prone to tears and getting upset easily but otherwise he's still fairly loveable. But smelly!

On balance I enjoyed the younger years more but that was because they felt so much more part of my life, I liked young activities and endless cuddles/ holding hands etc

Now DS is 18 and DD 16 and they are mostly out of the house which is all as it should be but I sometimes feel I still have a lot of responsibility with them but not much pleasure from them !

Also the worries are harder because it's mostly out of your control. Finally when there is an argument it's harder because they're both bigger and louder than me and what I say doesn't always go !!

My DD1 has been an easier ride in many ways. She had a few months dabbling with weed in year 11 which we managed to get over in time for GCSEs. Academically I reckon she has more than fulfilled her potential.

However, she went on the Pill at 17 and turned into a crazy woman overnight; she was just in a constant rage. Had a few months respite while she was between relationships then tried a different Pill. This time she was weeping and talking about life not being worth living, it was shockingly out of character. Again the symptoms stopped when she stopped taking it.

Finally at nearly 20, our GP seems to have found her a Pill which, perhaps makes her slightly more grumpy but is tolerable. It really makes me look again at my younger years, (on the Pill from 18 to 25). I do remember a massive sense of tension relief when I stopped taking it.

I do agree luck plays a large part nicole and I'm not pretending my DDs were perfect . I found the baby years very difficult...maybe mine got it out of their systems then

Just to throw my experience in with regards to girls and raging hormones. One of my girls started her periods at 11 , the other at 15 and yet they were both horrible at 13. Make of that what you will

Lancelottie "Mostly nice and stuff"? The days you didnt have them down the mines then or up a chimney?