Unbelievably I am quite enjoying having teenagers

[highlighta]

I have two dc 13 and 16. At the present moment there are 6 teenagers in my living room. I am in my office which is a room in the house and I can hear every word they are saying. The other 4 kids live in the next streets to us.

There has been some fantastic negotiations regarding swopping/loaning x-box games

There has been an in depth discussion on the best popcorn flavour

There has been discussions on why their birthday is memorable, ie one is on Valentines day and one is on St Patricks day. The other 4 have boring birthdays apparently

There has not been one swear word, but every second word is that something or other sucks

And the most shocking one of all - they have all been here a couple of hours now and I offered them something to eat. Not one of them was hungry The only conclusion I can come to for that is that I must be a really awful cook

[fartmeistergeneral]

Draylon, you are not alone. My DS (16) talks exactly like yours re the suicide thing. Every now and then it's 'I actually wish I was dead' or 'doesn't matter, I'll definitely be dead by then'. But apart from those moments, seems perfectly happy with life! Just to get a reaction????

I don't see a great deal of my two teenagers in other responses in this thread. On the one hand it's great to see such happy parents with great kids, on the other hand, I feel jealous!!

Mine could be a lot worse - the eldest (16) can be incredibly funny and he's very sociable. In terms of organising his life - horrific.

The other ds (14) is definitely on the spectrum somewhere. Never had him assessed (nor will we), but as time goes on, showing more and more signs...

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

dd(16) has just finished GCSE's so no school ATM and has been planning some end of term treats for her DBro - bought a couple of T shirts in a charity shop and they've just been having great fun splattering them with paint in the garden!
She's also bought sweets to hide in garden for when he gets home from school tomorrow - some plans for ice-cream floats or knicker bocker glories too I've heard
The enthusiasm and creativity is almost infectious. Almost

[Roussette]

Oh yes mylatptop, isn't it great when they have different groups of friends - especially the school ones you remember as complete toerags!

[BitOutOfPractice]

Lovely thread!

I have a 12 and 15 yo - they are curled up under a blanket together watching The Lone Rannger with me while I MN. They get on great and are great company.

Most teenagres are lovely, at least some of the time. We should celebrate it more

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

Am so sorry to read of teenagers saying such difficult and worrying things though. I think most teenagers can be difficult at times to some degree - my DS at 13 can be rather critical sometimes though other times will give me a nice hug. I'm hoping a few more years might bring more tolerance, empathy, and understanding, as it seems to have done with DD(16)
Really nice to read the positives on here and good to hear a balanced reality too and people sharing their concerns
and to all parents of teenagers x

[fartmeistergeneral]

Draylon, my ds has unlimited wifi now (paid for by him). In the days when I would limit wifi/turn it off at a certain time, it was hellish living in this house. Thankfully, he has a part time job and volunteering which takes him out the house 4/5 times a week. He's very sociable with his friends but can be very difficult to talk to in the house. Part and parcel of being a teenager (in some cases!). It's hard. It will (it MUST!) get easier. You are not alone!!!

[dementedma]

Older teens are absolutely the best part of parenting. Young teens are horrors but once they come out the other side they are fun and witty and proper people. Much better than the whiny toddler years.

[Cheeseandhamtoast]

Yes! My DS was a difficult baby, toddler and still having tantrums up to the age of 11! Now an amazing, polite and thoughtful teenager with lovely interesting friends.

[Merguez]

16 yo ds has been in London with dh doing work experience.

Came home today wearing some new clothes bought in the sales - proper shoes, not trainers, shirt tucked in, belt. Looked so smart and nice.

While he was away 13 yo ds and I settled down to watch a movie together. He wanted to watch TED but when I refused we flicked through the options, I suggested Selma and he said yes that sounds really interesting and so we watched it together. Phone did not come out once.

I love my ds's ... although they are not always like this!

[dotdotdotmustdash]

My Dd16 is in China on a school trip and emailing me fabulous photos of her adventures. I miss her so much, it feels like she's suddenly grown up and doesn't need me.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

Brilliant thread. About time teenagers got some praise instead of constant criticism.
My dd is 16 and is a dream.
Kind considerate passionate and fantastic company

[SaggyAndLucy]

I'll be glad to see the back of teenage! possibly even teenAGERS if they don't bugger off to university soon! I've got DS19 and DD16 and they're a bloody nightmare! Don't read me wrong, as teenagers go they're lovely.
Polite and helpful to others, perfect school records, good results, nice to their baby sister.
HOWEVER, I have to ask repeated you for things to get done. I start nicely and end up shouting and threatening to withdraw lifts to their social events. And that is just for drying the dishes, or walking the dog. DD once ignored the drying up for 3 days, and DS took 3 WEEKS to trim a 10ft stretch of hedge with electric shears! Every single day is a constant round of me asking, them ignoring and it ending in a battle. DS thinks money grows on trees and DD doesn't leave her room for days at a time.
Quite frankly I had a baby just so I could have someone in the house who LIKED me!
The sooner they grow up and preferably leave home the better!
when that time comes, I intend to do everything I can to have my revenge!

[ssd]

mine are ds's

I just wish the 17 yr old talked more to us, he's a great boy, doing well at school, hobbies, friends, polite, clean, tidy, etc etc

but he doesnt talk much, I long for the days when I couldnt shut him up, they seemed to end about 14/15 and he's been in his room since....

it was great on holiday, he didnt meet anyone his age and spent a lot of time with me talking to me!! I loved it

[Ludoole]

Lovely thread
My ds's are 12 and 15.
Ds1 was a whiny spoiled toddler , hit puberty at 9 and by 11 had developed an fantastic sense of humour. Now at 15 hes amazing. He mows the lawn/cuts the privet, makes dinner sometimes, puts washer on and hangs out clothes, talks for ages to his grandad with alzheimers The only thing he hates is making a cup of tea.
Thankfully ds2 is a great tea maker

[nicoleshitzinger]

Feel so sad and jealous reading some of these posts.

DD is 16. The main features of her adolescence have been

• aggression (police called three times, we've all been hit, many doors and walls with holes in them)
  
• rudeness and bad behaviour at school. She spent much of year 10 and 11 in internal exclusion
  
• lying
  
• truanting
  
• stealing
  
• unsafe sex
  
• drinking and drug taking
  
• suicide threats
  
• no hobbies, almost no homework done, no help at home.
  

She's dominated the family with her moods.

She insists 'I'm not that bad'. Well, not if you compare her to her lying, truanting, thriving,, badly behaved peer group (all carefully selected to help her maintain the illusion that her behaviour is normal and reasonable..,)

[sillygiraffe]

Sorry but DD16 is a pain in the backside. A selfish, lazy entitled little madam but all her friends are lovely, from what I see of them. Maybe her friends parents think she is lovely too but I know she's not!

[nicoleshitzinger]

Don't worry Cain!



I don't take it personally.

And actually, lots of adults (including some of her teachers) LOVE dd because she can be intensely charming, makes wonderful, warm eye contact, initiates conversations with adults and generally can be very winning indeed.

And she was the dearest little girl you can imagine.

Christ I hate adolescence.

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

I think you've got to keep on believing in them however hard it gets
Maybe get some outside support if you can if things are difficult to try and find some constructive ways forward?
Sorry for those struggling with difficult teens
I hope better times are round the corner for you all

[SomewhereIBelong]

my 2 girls are 13 and 14 and ermmmmmmm "hormonal" - so most of the time we get the lovely, helpful, polite, wonderful kids - just not generally both at the same time.... and then PMT sets in - you'd have thought that we 3 of us we'd synch up - but no..... 3 weeks of PMT a month....

still, I'm starting the peri-menopause, so am over-hormonal myself which does not help. (DH is building a shed)

[PeachyTheSanctiMoanyArse]

Oh I do like having teens! DS2 (14) came second in the world championships of his choice of sport last weekend (for one discipline, third for the other). He's a fantastic chap who wants to be an engineer in Fleet Air Arm. Eldest (15) has just completed his DofE bronze- a massive achievement for a young man with ASD, he's also gone academically from failure to 'making plans about the university he wishes to attend (politics is planned field).

DS3 turns 13 in one year, can't wait to see what excitement that brings with it.

[JoffreyBaratheon]

I've been through teenage years and come out the other side with my older sons who are now 25, 22 and 20. The younger two are now 13 and nearly 15. Had such an easy time with the first three - they were a constant joy. Honestly, never a problem and nothing like I'd expected. I loved the fact I could finally have a laugh with them, and relax and be myself.

Also I found it easy to talk to them on any level. They didn't ever seem madly hormonal or moody at all. In fact their teenage years were my favourite part of parenting.

No 4 - the 15 year old - is incredibly moody and difficult and seems to project a lot of angst on me. But when he is not hormonal - he is good company and you get glimpses of someone who is going to be OK. But at the moment there's a lot of "You don't understand me WAAAAAH!", door slamming, and "I don't care!" Never had that before.

It is also down to underlying personality I think as my youngest is as laid back and unruffled as the older three were. No 4 was always concerned by peer pressure, trying to conform and fit in. My youngest is very strong willed but self assured, and I think he is going to have an easier time of it without the underlying insecurities. So personality plays a part.

My adult sons are like friends, to me - adore them and adore spending time with them.

[JoffreyBaratheon]

silly that is the Mrs Patterson effect. Remember how polite Perry always was to Kevin The Teenager's mum and dad? But a total prat to his own parents. I have observed this phenomenon with my kids' friends - they are very "Mrs Patterson" with me. Always makes me laugh.