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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Sigh, queen bees at it again

117 replies

dingit · 16/06/2015 14:01

I really don't like this girl, she ruined dds 16th back in November but that's another story.
It's now her birthday, there are six in the group of friends, she is going out for pizza, but says she can only afford for five to come. Dd assumes she is the one left out ( she was not invited last year), but they are in general a really nice group of girls, so they have all agreed to chip in Â£5 so they can all go.
Dd has just received a group message with arrangements, with a bit added on for her telling her she needs to bring Â£10!
I'm quite happy to give dd for the money for her whole meal, but the arrangement is already leaving a sour taste in my mouth. I can see this all going wrong, dd is already a tired emotional wreck, this will be the end of exams day.
I offered that she comes out with me dh and ds, but she wants to be with her friends.
Should I just butt out and let her deal with it?

OP posts:

TeenAndTween · 19/06/2015 21:22

Hope it's gone well.

cunchofbunts · 19/06/2015 21:31

God, they really are Mean Girls aren't they? I don't remember any of this stuff when I was a teenager.

Original poster

dingit · 19/06/2015 22:10

She's back, and had a nice time ( I think). I need to be more trusting. Hope the prom goes as well

OP posts:

ErrolTheDragon · 19/06/2015 23:36

Whew .

If the arrangements had been as you originally thought, you were quite right not to be trusting of the group of girls esp on QB's b'day.

Wittynewnameifonly · 20/06/2015 01:28

Glad she is happy

bigTillyMint · 20/06/2015 07:10

So glad to hear she seemed happy on her return, dingit.

Does she have other friends outside of school/this group who she can spend time with too?

Original poster

dingit · 20/06/2015 08:02

Thanks, yes Tilly, her lovely friend from primary school, they have quite a few plans for the holidays

OP posts:

Greenrememberedhills · 20/06/2015 08:13

My elder DD ( now in her 20s) used to tolerate this nonsense at school. Post 16 education is heaven in comparison, and I've heard many others say so too. It just all stops and the nastiest girls seem to drop off the radar.

bigTillyMint · 20/06/2015 09:27

Good, dingit. She needs to sort the wood from the trees and dump that vile QB asap, albeit probably after the prom

Green, I am so hoping that is true - DD is worried about starting sixth form and encountering different biatches.

momtothree · 20/06/2015 09:32

Never met one in college ... different ball game ... more mature and have a different out look.

pictish · 20/06/2015 09:47

That's a relief. May peace reign until the summer break. xx

Littleham · 21/06/2015 21:06

Glad it went well. Tell her that she is unlikely to get this sort of behaviour in college. I read an article once that said Queen Bees tend to dominate in only two places - schools and prisons!

Heartofgold25 · 23/06/2015 09:34

Dont let her go!!!! If they did that on your dd's birthday they are likely to be even worse this time around! Who needs it! The girls are NOT friends by any stretch. How absolutely hideous for your dd on her bday!
Tickets for somewhere amazing with boyfriend is the key, post the photos on face book and forget about the crappy little pizza night. They will crucify her self confidence if left to their own devices.
Encourage dd to focus on new friends, or old friends who are kind and good to her and move on to better and stronger friendships. I so feel for your dd but she has much to be grateful for, you, her boyfriend, a good future with solid grades, she does not need this girl crap, rise above it.

rollonthesummer · 23/06/2015 09:44

I think it's been and gone, Heartofgold!

Original poster

dingit · 23/06/2015 10:00

Yes, against my wishes, she went, and thankfully, this time it was fine. Just the prom to get through now

OP posts:

ElleyBear13 · 23/06/2015 10:20

Dingit reassure your daughter college is where she'll meet friends for life. People seem to mature over summer, it happened for me. When I was in school (now 25) i was part of a clique group, one of my friends from this group was really lovely but we weren't allowed to speak to each other (?) once school was out of the way we became very good friends been on two holidays abroad and she was my maid of honour at my wedding. We laugh now how young and silly we were to be dictated to who we could and couldn't talk to by someone whose life has now taken a sad downward spiral. I think QBs have school as there 'kingdom' and once out of this enviroment no longer have the control. The other 'school friends' of this clique we no longer speak too (and didnt once school was out of the way) i also met my kind of people in college and uni, and felt much more happier past secondary school. Wishing youe daughter all the best!

sherbetlemonD · 24/06/2015 17:39

This reminds me of the time my "friends" agreed to come out with me for my 16th and I ended up paying for 3 of them because "they forgot we were going for dinner and thought we were just going into town". Sounds like they are taking advantage to me OP.

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