Help! 15 yrs old girlfriend sending explicit photos to DS!

[friendlymum67]

DS (16.5) and girlfriend been together nearly a year, discovered photos yesterday inadvertently when looking for his work rota. I'm not naive or a prude but am shocked and really unsure what I should say or do??

Any more experienced parents of teenagers that can advise or reassure me??

Honestly, I would have spoken to her parents, then sat them both down, phone in hand, and 'forwarded' the photos to her parents. (Not really, but I would want them to believe I had. I would tell the parents the truth, that I had deleted them.) I know how harsh it sounds, but photos like this could ruin her life. They can follow her everywhere, through every career, every relationship. I worked with men who, whenever a new female intern started, would start searching, and several times they came up with nude photos. Wankers like that are probably pretty common.

Thing is, teenagers already know all this. They have been told time and again about the dangers. They will have been attending esafety lectures at school since primary. They've seen the cautionary videos and heard of students whose pics got away from them. They all know the score. A parent telling them again will mean nothing. They do not need a warning - they've had that over and again.

l really thought she was better than that, obviously not

Er...

And as for the OP's depressing and hypocritical ' I look at her differently' comment... everyone will look at her differently. That is the sad truth.

Why will everyone look at her differently? From what I know, that means half the school population of that age will be looked at differently.

I doubt very much whether your DS hasn't sent pics of himself too, it takes two to tango and we should never presume our DC's are whiter than white. He's hardly likely to admit it, if he deleted them anyway, it's much easier to deny.

Was her face actually showing in the pics?

Everyone looked at those interns differently. The phones were passed around outside the office at lunchtimes and within a day much of the company had seen them. Most people will think differently of you after seeing nude/graphic pics. It is utterly depressing.

Not only might OP's son have sent pics of himself, he may have shared the ones of gf or showed them around.

Completely agree with the other posters that you are being very naive.

Oh wow - you thought she was better than that?? Listen to yourself. What a horrible thing to say.

I expect your son asked for the photo, no doubt she has ones of him.

I hope you also discussed safe sex with your DS. Naked pics = sex. I deal with issues like this daily and in 95% of the cases the girls send them under pressure from the boys

You thought she was 'better than that'?
I have heard it all now.

Did you see any evidence that your DS tried to stop her?

How do you know this was her idea in the first place? I agree this kind of thing is usually due to pressure from the boy.

And are you so sure your DS hasn't been sharing the photos?
If he has then he could face charges.

Put a stop to it. NOW. Not because i'm a prude- but because of an experience I faced at school.

A girl in my year sent some photos to her boyfriend at the time, his friend got hold of his phone and sent them around the school. Que a lot of embarrassment and isolation for said girl- her friends were too embarrassed to be seen with her (which is pretty bitchy but hey ho) and she went from "one of the popular ones" to the bottom of the hirarchy- she went to a college an hour away to get away from it all.