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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

mums of 16/17/18 year olds... please talk to me

32 replies

MummiUni · 03/05/2015 18:55

Ds is 16 and Year 11. He is obsessed with a computer game, although he says he's not. We feel that he ought to be doing a lot more revision than he is doing - about 2 hours per day at the moment.

Please share your stories of those Year 11 plus, spec if they too were obsessed with gaming. How did it affect their GCSE results? What are they like now?

Do you have any ideas how to tackle it - nothing is working at the minute!

Thank you

OP posts:

EatShitDerek · 03/05/2015 18:57

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Original poster

MummiUni · 03/05/2015 19:04

Thanks ESD, so the gaming can outweigh the revision a lot. e.g.. 2 hours revision 4 hours gaming??

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TheFairyCaravan · 03/05/2015 19:05

I've got 2 boys (18 &20). DS2 is in YR13 and revising for his A2s atm. I will say from the off, I've been lucky with my kids because they both knew what they wanted to do from an early age and knew what they needed to get there so they've worked for it. I've no experience of a game obsessed teen.

Yesterday DS2 set his alarm for 8:30. He was revising by 10am, had a break 1-2 for lunch. Watched a football match and ate dinner from 5:30 and revised from 7:30 until 10pm. He was like that through the Easter holidays, too.

Today he has been at work from 9-4. He started revising at 6:30 and will stop around 10pm.

At school they have finished the courses, so are revising in lessons and he's revising in his frees.

I'd have been very worried if they'd have been revising for 2 hours a day in Yr11.

EatShitDerek · 03/05/2015 19:06

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bigbluebus · 03/05/2015 19:14

It all depends how bright your DS is. I don't think my DS did that much revision for GCSEs and he came out with all A grades. Tje fact that he could have got A*s if he'd put more effort in has passed him by. Where he came unstuck was with AS levels where he thought he could get away with the same amount of work. Sadly, he couldn't as it was a huge step up from GCSEs - his results reflected his efforts and he is now re-sitting some AS modules longside A2s.
He is still spending a fair amount of time gaming but appears to be doing more revision now but only time will tell if it is enough. He knows what he needs to get for his Uni place - we can't do it for him.

Original poster

MummiUni · 03/05/2015 19:23

I think he will follow the pattern of your DS BBB. He is very capable of getting A*s but he doesn't think so. He thinks it's OK to get Cs as long as he gets 5, inc Eng and Maths, which isn't a cert at this point!
All v frustrating and causing problems with my DH who wants to come down v heavy handed and remove the console. If he did this I think DS would totally down tools and stop doing any revision.

It's getting me down :-(

OP posts:

SecretSquirrels · 03/05/2015 19:31

I don't think 2 hours a day is bad for GCSEs, especially if it is quality revision. By which I mean doing past papers or questions without other media distractions.

Remember also that every lesson in school will consist of revision now. Mine also had after school revision every day in the run up to GCSEs.

Youngest doing AS now and he does about 2 hours on a college day. More at a weekend.

eae123 · 03/05/2015 19:32

My yr 11 DD is revising for close to 5 hours a day. It's driving DH and I mad! She is predicted all A's and A*'s but she is paranoid about failing. Nothing will reassure that she won't fail.

At the moment, I would rather have your son!

ragged · 03/05/2015 19:35

It's his life, he needs to aim where he wants to go.
What does HE want to do after GCSEs? Is he on target to get onto that course or apprenticeship or path?

Original poster

MummiUni · 03/05/2015 19:45

He wants to do A levels which I think is going to be a big shock for him.

He is doing before and after revision classes.
It's the conflict with DB that is getting time more. DH wishes his parents handmade him do more work. I think this is having a negative impact on their relationship that it may not recover from. DHthinks I'm wrong

OP posts:

LemonYellowSun · 03/05/2015 19:54

Just make sure he isn't getting up at night to carry on gaming.

Original poster

MummiUni · 03/05/2015 20:44

Thankfully, he isn't doing that and he leaves his phone downstairs at night too.

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BeaufortBelle · 03/05/2015 20:51

Just ensure there is a curfew when the techie stuff is removed from his room. The other thing we did when ds was being a bit silly at about 15 was to get a techie friend to disable the internet gateway about two weeks before the exams. and then we had to wait for the man to come and repair the internet

He ended up OK and looks back now and is glad we let him work it out (pretty much) for himself. Some of his more controlled friends have gone a bit off the rails at uni.

Hassled · 03/05/2015 20:51

Do you mean he's doing 2 hours revision and the rest gaming? My oldest DS was an obsessed gamer and cocked up GCSEs and A-Levels, (but hey, at one point he was 4th in the world at some shoot-em-up, so that's OK ) - next DS was a bit more moderate, but still played a fair amount and did really well. They do need downtime, and gaming is as good a way as any - but 2 hours revision with a week to go is probably pushing it. It's so tough to get the balance right - just try to stay calm, because your job is mostly at this stage to keep things chilled (yes, I know how hard that is).

Original poster

MummiUni · 03/05/2015 20:56

I can stay chilled but DH is finding that hard.
Luckily he has no screens or gadgets in his room, they are downstairs and laws have been. It would be so much harder if he could access them upstairs where he does/is supposed to do his revision.

OP posts:

LimeFizz · 03/05/2015 20:57

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Haffdonga · 03/05/2015 21:19

I've got a gaming 16 year old and an 18 year old who was a gamer during GCSEs.

I'd say it depends completely what your ds is actually doing in his 2 hours. Tbh 2 hours doesn't sound very much for a weekend this close to exams (plenty for a school day).

Have you tried asking him how many hours he thinks is reasonable each day and then getting him to stick to his own plan?

eeniemeeniemineymo · 03/05/2015 21:31

It all rather depends what subjects he is doing, how many exams he is doing and when the exams start. DS2 has 21 exams but has some friends who only have five, yes five! This is because they took subjects that were course work or assessments.

DS2 does an hour per subject then has a break. He does three or four subjects a day at weekends and two on weekdays. His main issue is timing for the exams so he also does a couple of exam questions as well some nights (not every night though).

DS2's subjects are Double Engineering, History, Business Studies, RE, triple science, maths and english. Our school takes four gcse options and the Double Engineering counted as two choices.

ragged · 03/05/2015 21:53

Which A-levels, and why? Does he want to be a pilot, go do a higher apprenticeship in journalism, go to an ex-poly, or has no idea?

Original poster

MummiUni · 03/05/2015 22:04

He's got 23 exams
He wants to do humanities A levels, go to university then join the army.

I can't wait for his last exam!

OP posts:

Heyho111 · 03/05/2015 22:09

I'd say two hours is all my lad can do. If he does more nothing goes in. They are all different. Mine can't do any more than that.

eeniemeeniemineymo · 03/05/2015 22:10

What does he want to do in the Army OP?

TheFairyCaravan · 04/05/2015 00:08

DS1 has joined the army, Mummi. He did A levels, achieved AAB and got a place at uni to do History and Politics. On results day he decided he wasn't going and was going to join the army straight away rather than after uni.

Tbh it's been the right descion for him. He is loving it and was made for it. He has no regrets and neither do I, although I did try to persuade him to go to uni at the time.

300Bananas · 04/05/2015 00:18

I think 2 hours revision a day is very good. I wish my dd would do that. I would be thrilled with just an hour tbh. I just hope all the revision during school time and the odd after school lesson will be enough!

BackforGood · 04/05/2015 00:24

I agree with most - if he's doing 2 hours a day revision, then he's doing a darn sight more than a lot of GCSE candidates yes dd, I'm including you in this. but as to if that's enough or not, it depends on the quality of what he's doing, how 'exam ready' he is through what they've done at school - and hopefully it's not like dd's school where they are hauling them in for extra sessions just to finish teaching the curriculum - and how capable he is.
On average though, I think 2 hours a day is pretty good going if he's doing that consistently.

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