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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

mums of 16/17/18 year olds... please talk to me

32 replies

MummiUni · 03/05/2015 18:55

Ds is 16 and Year 11. He is obsessed with a computer game, although he says he's not. We feel that he ought to be doing a lot more revision than he is doing - about 2 hours per day at the moment.

Please share your stories of those Year 11 plus, spec if they too were obsessed with gaming. How did it affect their GCSE results? What are they like now?

Do you have any ideas how to tackle it - nothing is working at the minute!

Thank you

OP posts:
princessstrop · 04/05/2015 01:35

Good God, some of your DCs do a lot of revision! And I say this as a 19 year old in my first year of University. There comes a point where you just have to leave them to it - forcing them to go and revise won't achieve anything, because they'll just sit there in their room doing nothing anyway.

I really wouldn't worry. Two hours per day sounds like more than enough revision to me, and I certainly wouldn't worry about the gaming - if that's what he chooses to do to relax and chill then that's fine. Doing more gaming than revision won't suddenly reverse the revision he has done! Admittedly I think a lot depends on his natural gift for learning, but he sounds like he knows what he's doing. I admire his dedication. At 16 I certainly wasn't revising for two hours a day (sorry!) and I still came away with all A's in my GCSEs, and 400 UCAS points at A Levels.

My Mum and Dad nagging me would only have frustrated me, so please appreciate that he is already working two hours a day off his own back without influence from you. And don't forget he's in school all day learning and revising. Wish him good luck with his exams!

jennimum · 04/05/2015 10:42

I have three DD's two of which have gone through that revision stage and I was lucky if they did 2 hours a day!

SecretSquirrels · 04/05/2015 11:46

Luckily he has no screens or gadgets in his room, they are downstairs and laws have been.
OP you have a 16 year old who has no gadgets in his room and does 2 hours revision on a school night - rare indeed.
It does not seem to me that his gaming is unusual or affecting his studies. DS2 (17) is currently obsessed with LOL and I have no problem with him playing and chatting to friends as a way of winding down when he has done revision.
He has his computer, phone, etc in his room and no restrictions set by me. I haven't "enforced" any restrictions since he was about 14. There won't be anyone there to take his gadgets away at uni you know.....

Jules14 · 04/05/2015 14:25

Similar position with DS, first exam tomorrow. It is not so much gaming now with him, but any combination of other distractions, films, playing guitar or drums, you tube, face-timing etc. Only in the last week or so has he started showing any real evidence of revising at home. I know he works hard at school and goes to after school revision sessions, (although he is still finishing off controlled assessments after school Shock). I got really stressed and worried before his mocks, but he passed them all (having done virtually nothing to prepare) and I am a lot more relaxed about it now. I know that me nagging offering guidance just makes him stressed and less likely to work. It is beyond frustrating that he is bright enough to get fantastic grades with a bit of extra work, but will probably get ok/good ones.

I feel for you though OP, as you are caught in the middle with DH wanting to take a harder line. I understand where he is coming from, my DH wishes that his parents had pushed him more. I did have a conversation with DS a few weeks ago and told him I didn't ever want him to look back and say 'why didn't you push me more?'. It did make him think about it though I'm not sure he is working any harder, and he responds far better to being treated like an adult and is a lot nicer to live with as a result.

Gymbob · 04/05/2015 20:07

I would be over the moon with 2 hours revision. in fact I would settle for 20 minutes Sad

Original poster
MummiUni · 05/05/2015 17:37

Thanks everyone. His 2 hours include after school sessions.

He wants to join the army as an officer, other than that I'm not sure.

It appears that there is no way he is going to do more than he is doing!

OP posts:
Travelledtheworld · 05/05/2015 18:55

Yes I agree 2 hours a day is a pretty good going for GCSE's. My dd year 11 does about 20 mins per day.

My neighbour cut the plug off her sons X Box she was so sick of him playing games when he was supposed to be studying for A levels. He is now at University.

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