ang you still haven't explained more about how/when you've observed all these multiple occasions when he's being hit on by old women in your presence. Why not? I'm still a bit baffled tbh. My three sons obviously must be reasonably attractive and charming as I've had a constant stream of adoring teenaged girls in my house since each of them hit 14 or 15, but I have never once been aware of this 'older woman' thing.
Since my sons all became teenagers and beyond I have spent virtually NO time at all in their company when there have been other women of my own age present (other than relatives like my sister for example.) They have of course met a few of my friends, they've chatted politely about school or uni or whatever at Christmas drinks parties etc., but there has never been any flirting in evidence. And obviously they've met plenty of their friends' or girlfriends' mums, female work colleagues/customers etc., but I haven't been there to see it - why on earth would I be? 
Given the style and brevity of your posts and your reluctance to elaborate or answer questions I'm wondering if this is some sort of reverse experiment (it's your first post under this name) to see whether there is a double standard here between the sexes; that people somehow assume girls need protecting from predatory older suitors but the same does not apply to boys?
You said he always drew attention from adult women from about age 14 upwards. Now he is 19 nearly 20 and I am increasingly aware of uncomfortable attention from women my age…
Factor in that he is not particularly tall or muscly; facially he looks more like James McAvoy than.. the Rock or Hulk Hogan per se... which makes him look younger than he is…
you seem to be suggesting that these women are targeting his specifically because he looks underage…..and if he looked very young and small at 14 or 15 as well, then you would appear to be suggesting these women might be motivated by paedophile tendencies….
and I suspect if you'd said that about your daughter and older men, there would have been a very different response, by and large.
Only thing I would point out is that people get angry when it comes to girls. Can't imagine any one of DH's friends making a passing comment about DD and getting anything less than a cold stare.
Well I can't argue with you there. I agree. If you are wanting to prove that there is a double standard you won't get an argument from me.
BitOfFun said:
That's the patriarchy for you though, isn't it? It's all nudge nudge wink wink when it comes to boys, because they're expected to enjoy the attention. Implicit in this response is the 'privilege' of it being relatively safe, with the knowledge that, with maturity, the boys mature into men and go on to call the shots, sexual dominance-wise.
I do think it's the patriarchy, yes. But I don't agree with BOF's reasoning. I think it's because boys are always expected to say yes and expected to want to say yes, pretty much regardless of who is making the offer.
Whereas 'nice' girls are expected to say no regardless of who is making the offer, and even if they might quite like to say yes, they are still expected to say no.
There is almost always an assumption that an encounter between a young sexually naive woman and an older, experienced man is predatory and exploitative on his part, and that even if it was completely consensual and she didn't feel intimidated in the least, she should be encouraged to feel violated, and is she doesn't it's because she's been groomed, and doesn't know her own mind.
Whereas there tends to be an assumption that a similar encounter between a teenaged boy and a much older woman is some harmless yet valuable lesson in life and love that he should enjoy and be grateful for, and there can't possibly be a case for him to be feeling groomed or violated because as a male his default position should be that he was always going to be 'up for it' anyway. 