Am I being unreasonable? 14 y.o girl and NYE...

[buzzingbees]

My 14 y.o daughter wishes to spend NYE at a friend's (boy's) house. In total, it will be 4 girls and 2 boys (including her). All these children have been friends since reception at primary school, and I know all their parents - however, I am just not happy with her staying the night. The boy's parents will be out for NYE but will be home later in the evening; I am within walking distance but I am not happy as I know what 14 y.o girls and boys can get up to. DD promises me they are all 'friends' and nothing 'dodgy' will happen. She has taken huge offense to me not letting her go and does not understand why I am not happy, and I am starting to rethink. Am I being unreasonable by not letting her go? I have spoken to all her friend's parents and they are fine with it. Any advice welcome!

Absolutely agree with that, Noddy. The ones in dd2's year group (now 17) who are the craziest party animals now are the ones whose parents were the strictest a few years ago.

i once went food shopping. came back in. there was my daughter and her boyfriend at it in the bathroom and her 14 year old friend and her boyfriend at it in the bedroom... they are no longer allowed in my house unless im there

I have never had that experience thankfully

What did you decide?
You have a great opportunity here to build the foundations of a very trusting adolescent relationship.
If the shit hits the fan you could be the one who helps fix it, you could be the mum who has a daughter that trusts her to help and not go crazy (but not keep secrets from other parents though) you could show your daughter that being a wonderful young trustworthy lady pays off.
I hope you let her go.
My parents never let me do anything remotely exciting like this and it backfired.
I hope to be the mum who is respected, trusted & trusting (but not the one who doesn't give a damn & lets all hell break loose in my house... Those ones are too going too far)

Nope, we've never experienced anything like that either. Ours must have either had more sense or been more clever about it!

All hell has never broken loose here either! But many have been brought home to ours in fear of what might happen if they went home!

Most 14 year olds aren't shagging. They might be sexually experimenting, but really they can do that any day of the year. They might get a bit drunk. If she does then she loses your trust. She can't show you she can be trusted if you don't give her the opportunity. Also, if all the other parents are fine, you may have to examine the possibility that you are being too strict.

Sexually experimenting does not need the boys to be present...

My parents would have said no, as a result I lied about where i was going most of the time so they didn't get the opportunity to say no. Having said that, my dd is only 10, not sure what I am going to do when she gets to 14!

Did you let her go?

I think you should also examine your motives in not letting her go as well. Whose interests are you really protecting here, your daughter from any risks or yourself from the worry?

I really want to know what the final outcome was!

Would also love to know whether she went or not etc

Me too, I was chatting to my dd about it and she said she'd be mighty pissed off if I didn't let her go to something like that and she would resent me for it.

OP come back......

omg maybe she is the 15 year old steaming drunk on the other thread?!!!