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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Late for dinner, what should you do?

32 replies

HesNotAMessiah · 27/12/2014 18:31

i cooked dinner, advertised it well in advance to DD and actually cooked it on time for when she said she would be back.

Turns up 20 minutes late, after we'd all finished eating.

So what's the right response?

Pull up a chair and help yourself?

Or

We have finished eating, you were late for dinner, once we've cleared up you can sort your own dinner out of the leftovers.

Answers on a postcard to the usual address...

OP posts:
GraysAnalogy · 27/12/2014 18:32

Pull up a chair, grab some food might need heating up though.

I've never been one for this set dinner time malarky and them not being fed if they miss it. It's so restricting.

supermariossister · 27/12/2014 18:33

for me Itd be a "your dinner is in the microwave feel free to heat it up"

AMumInScotland · 27/12/2014 18:34

I'd go with "There it is and you can clear the table afterwards" Unless there was a good reason for being late?

gamerchick · 27/12/2014 18:34

Aye teas in the microwave sort yourself out

AnyFucker · 27/12/2014 18:35

I wouldn't do anything apart from concentrate on my own delicious meal

late person would be sorting out their own reheated scraps though, if not already plated up

WankingInAWinterWonderland · 27/12/2014 18:35

Dinner in the micro

Original poster
HesNotAMessiah · 27/12/2014 18:47

It's so restricting..

Interesting comment.

Restricting for who?

Not restricting for me trying to get various buts of domestic machinery to line up so various bits of a meal are available at the same time.

Restrictive to the Poor teen who has had their dinner cooked for them?

I'm thinking something about enabling behaviour here....

OP posts:
usualsuspect333 · 27/12/2014 18:48

If it was plated up, I'd just tell them to reheat. If not I would make sure there was some left for them.

It wouldn't be that big a deal.

GraysAnalogy · 27/12/2014 18:51

HesNotAMessiah oh give over. You're doing the meal for everyone anyway aren't you, so there's no problem plating it up and leaving it in the oven or microwave for them. Not sure why people make such a big issue out of it.

I'm not enabling anyones behaviour Confused

zippyandbungle · 27/12/2014 18:53

Plate it up and leave it for them to reheat.

Ragwort · 27/12/2014 18:54

Was there a reason for being late, did she apologise or just saunter in and expect to be waited on?

HugeFurryKnittingBalls · 27/12/2014 18:55

Depends if she's 13 or 18 I think.

13yr old would not be told to pull up a chair but an 18yr old might, if there were any food left Xmas Wink

Original poster
HesNotAMessiah · 27/12/2014 18:56

Usual typical saunter in, no apology, just where's my dinner.

Thank you not a phrase that's ever likely to be heard.

OP posts:
GraysAnalogy · 27/12/2014 18:58

Ah now that's not good - no excuse for being rude to you, especially as she was late!

Does she do it often? Is dinner made every night?

Original poster
HesNotAMessiah · 27/12/2014 19:03

Turns up whenever she fancies. Gets asked every night if she's home for dinner, somtines gets told she's expected home for dinner, makes no difference.

Loves the food I cook when she's here, ears like a horse.

Trouble is life is so much easier at b/f's, he just helps himself to anything at any time.

We don't have a fridge or budget to do that.

OP posts:
sooperdooper · 27/12/2014 19:05

Dinner is in the microwave, no drama

GraysAnalogy · 27/12/2014 19:13

Hes just save yourself all the stress and drama and just plate it up - or better yet let her sort her own out when she decides to come home. I wouldn't put up with the rudeness at all though. She's lucky she has a mum willing to cook meals for her.

My friend's mum tried to use dinner time as a way of having power over her, I'd often have to walk about two miles with her in all sorts of weather just to get her home to eat a sodding sandwich her mum would plonk in front of her. It was completely pointless and just created problems on both sides. Both parties were happier when they both just talked about what would make each other's lives easier - not saying this is what you're doing btw with the power trip stuff, just that it doesn't have to be hard.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 27/12/2014 19:15

I used to take the piss with my dad and roll in later than my curfew and dinner would be in the microwave. He eventually got sick of it and I'd come home to no dinner so would cook myself. You should try that it didn't exactly traumatise me

Original poster
HesNotAMessiah · 27/12/2014 19:18

It's actually not me that sets the times etc, I just do the cooking.

And there's no control issue, it's simply a question of asking is he's home fir tea, agreeing a time she can do and then putting enough food on the table.

She can cook her own food frankly, the family meal times are one channel of making her feel welcome at home when she does nothing to warrant that welcome.

OP posts:
Mrsmorton · 27/12/2014 19:20

I'm laughing at ears like a horse.

We had zero tolerance on this tbh, either eat with the family or wait til everyone is done and get what's left. Unless pre arranged of course. She's pushing it I think.

Violetta999 · 27/12/2014 19:21

I'd plate it up for him but he'd have to wash up and put away after.

CatsClaus · 27/12/2014 19:26

you are on time for meals here or you fend for yourself

tbh it's rare there isn't anything, so your scenario at ours would involve teen catching up, but unavoidably being the last at the table and therefore stuck alone with all the clearing up, coffee making, dishwasher loading.

JeanSeberg · 27/12/2014 19:29

Did she tell you she was running late? If so, I'd have waited.

hoobypickypicky · 27/12/2014 19:34

"The food's in the fridge. The oven's over there. If you want anything to eat you can prepare and cook it when I've finished in the kitchen, provided that you clear and wash up after yourself".

GraysAnalogy · 27/12/2014 19:37

hesamessiah if it makes you feel better I would have loved a mum that cooked for me...

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