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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

New Year's Eve

37 replies

GaryBaldy · 26/12/2014 17:57

What are your teens up to for NYE?

For the last few years we have got together with several families, the adults socialise downstairs and the kids upstairs.

This year some of the older DCs 14/15/16 want to go to one of their friend's party. Guess we have been lucky so far, but now it's becoming inevitable that they want to do stuff without us. Also means one of us needs to stay sober to go collect them

OP posts:

mamapain · 26/12/2014 18:05

We'll have a party here but that will be for our friends and family so teens will probably go to a parent free party. This is what has happened most yes since they've been teens anyway.

But they know for certain we won't be coming to collect them so they will stay at party givers house or a friend if they can't get home. I think they've normally just got a cab back.

SecretSquirrels · 26/12/2014 18:38

They go out to pub or party and we stay in and DH will pick them up after midnight.
I don't "do" NYE and will be in bed by 10 .

Original poster

GaryBaldy · 27/12/2014 11:04

I think I need to suggest they sleepover then. And I probably need to unclench a bit too

OP posts:

Bowlersarm · 27/12/2014 11:30

We normally do the same thing as you. This year our 16 and 14 year olds are still coming too, but not our 18 year old. Our now 18 year old didn't come when he was 16 either, but we made sure he could stay over at the party he was at. He did ring us just after midnight saying he was bored and could we come and get him, but we had drunk too much to drive and couldn't organise a taxi at short notice or mind boggling expense so he had to suck it up and stay there.

LynetteScavo · 28/12/2014 22:28

15yo DS wants to go to a party at a friends house but weve said we will collect him- absolutely no sleeping over and I need to actually speak to one of the hosts parents to check they know the party is happening.

LynetteScavo · 28/12/2014 22:34

HoHonutty · 28/12/2014 22:39

15yo DS will stay home with us and 17yo is off to a ball almighty piss up and is sleeping over.

MyballsareSandy · 29/12/2014 10:46

We are going out for a meal with two others families, kids all similar ages - early teens, then back to our to see the NY in. They all seem happy with that, not sure for how much longer though.

Original poster

GaryBaldy · 29/12/2014 17:47

It seems to be a tricky age to me - too young to go in pubs thankfully but too old to want to be with family.

Lynette - following your advice I insisted on a contact number of parent hosting the party to check it out. Much cringing from DS.

OP posts:

riet · 29/12/2014 18:04

My 17 yr old dd is desperate to go to a new year's eve party that has just been organised by her friends. We planned long ago to spend the evening here with all our kids and some neighbours. I'm really stuck as she is going to be extremely miserable the whole evening as it is all her best mates and her boyfriend of over 2 years. My husband (her stepdad) is dead against her going as he wants to have the family together. He's told his 14 year old he can't go to (another) party either. The trouble is that there is always some tension in the house with teenagers over, as my husband has rather strict rules about behaviour, so nobody is keen on a party here . Any advice out of this conundrum?

ihatethecold · 29/12/2014 18:07

I'm sorry but your 17 year old should be allowed to have her own plans.
I had left home at 17.

riet · 29/12/2014 19:14

It's not that simple. There are other children and family members to be considered and I wouldn't want them to grow up thinking they can exactly do as they please. But the prospect of having to deal with possibly 2 miserable teens is not a good one for new year!

SinglePringle · 29/12/2014 19:23

Why can't there be one rule for the 17 year old and another for the 14 year old . They're completely different ages with completely different needs / social lives. I'd have laughed at my parents stopping me go out on NYE when I was 17. Laughed as I closed the front door...

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 29/12/2014 19:28

Ours are both out at parties and staying over. We told them that they could only go if they could stay over. Dp and I will stay in, but I hate NYE and will probably go to bed early with a book!

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 29/12/2014 19:30

Riet - I think you should let your 17 year old go tbh.

Philoslothy · 29/12/2014 19:31

We have a party and they have a sub party

Coconutty · 29/12/2014 20:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JeanSeberg · 29/12/2014 20:23

Why does her stepdad get to tell she can't go?

mamapain · 29/12/2014 20:40

Riet at 17 I would think she would have additional responsibilities such as her own job or that she babysits for younger siblings and so as a trade off she gets more freedoms.

Its not a case of saying you can do as you please, its more saying as X is 17 she is allowed to make adult choices, when you're 17 and you are living in a more mature way then you can make adult choices.

mamapain · 29/12/2014 20:42

Also, just to add, I would argue that she had spent a lot of time with family over christmas and you don't want to make being with family into a negative experience.

SirChenjin · 29/12/2014 20:44

We are having another family with teens over for a Murder Mystery night. We had one last NYE with loads of food and drink, and it was enjoyed by everyone.

GristletoeAndWhine · 29/12/2014 20:48

Our DC (eldest 14) are staying at home for dinner with some other families, but I'm guessing in the next year or two it might change. The only downside is, as you say, having to stay sober to pick up, but I guess I would be happy to do that.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 29/12/2014 20:50

16 year old dd is going to the west end to see the fireworks with a group of people from where she works. I have pointed out that it will be next to impossible to get home but she thinks it will be fine and they will get the night bus

15 year old ds1 is going to a party and sleeping over

AtiaoftheJulii · 29/12/2014 20:53

The 18 year old is going to a party that a friend's parents are hosting (i.e. not wild, lol), the 16 year old is off to another friend's house and dh has said he'll pick her up (and is now kicking himself). We have friends coming round, and the 12 and 14 year olds are staying here and hopefully each having a friend round.

mamapain · 29/12/2014 20:56

Can I ask, what for most is the cut off age? As in where they would be expected to be with family?

As I said we are having a party, this is something we've held for years and there is a large group of family and friends who have it as their standard arrangement. However this year I invited some families I met through my new hobby club, and some wanted to bring their teens.

I've said this is absolutely fine but that at 16 & 17, they will be the eldest there by at least a few years. Friends seemed chocked by this and I got the impression they had 'made' their teens come. I'd have thought they were too old for this but reading above maybe I'm wrong?

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