16 yo Daughter knows of our drug use

[beecee]

Our daughter caught both of us using cocaine about 12 months ago and we now know she also read phone messages where we talked about drug use , very bad parenting we know . She is now at nearly 16 starting to push many of the usual boundaries and has mildly started to reference to what she know as a kind of blackmail/bargaining tool , I'm not sure how to go about this and any help with this would be great .

Bless you, mathaxiety

I truly, truly believe that as long as people like you have any future stake in the matter, then exponentially more human suffering will occur than if you and your like did not have a say in the matter. Now that’s a lofty claim: am I insinuating that you and your ilk are indirectly responsible for hundreds of thousands of unnecessary deaths?

Whereas by purchasing of drugs punters are not supporting the organisations that are killing your fellow citizens in uniform?

You and your fellow punters by your purchase of drugs are not supporting organisations in various parts of the world that rule vulnerable populations with an iron rod by use of terror and intimidation, including one that will not countenance any education of girls -- backing that policy up by means of murder and acid throwing, and that insists that boys will only be exposed to the Koran by way of schooling.

Your drug purchases may support a regime that does not allow women to walk in public unless cloaked in a burqa and restricts access to healthcare including maternity care with the result that there is a high maternal mortality rate. Your drug purchases may support people under whose benign rule little girls are married off to grown men who have every expectation of consummating those marriages, and expect their child wives to bear them children as soon as they are physically able. Bother you much?

I wonder how you as a father of two girls (iirc) can choose to use your disposable income for cocaine or ecstasy, or philosophically support the trade in other drugs when you know the human cost on both producing end and consuming end, and in particular the cost to women and girls.

We live in the real world as it exists right now, and as of today you are part of the problem.

Incidentally, thank you for the warning about the song.
The moral is....?
OK I can't resist spelling it out
Now that I know what a problem it is I will avoid it.
It seems to that me your mention of something that gets inside your head and can't be got rid of and therefore would be best avoided is very appropriate for the particular subject under discussion.

Yeah?

This is the last time I’m bothering to respond to you, you're the equivalent of eating Macdonalds food

Three posts later from you, it occurs to me that you really don't seem to be able to keep away from things that are not good for you, Daddycool...

And the moral is...
Maybe work on that, in general?

Bless you, mathaxiety

Four posts...

Just saw that this was active again. The pedant in me wishes to point out that the list of substances that potentially prolong the QT interval is literally colossal and includes alcohol, antihistamines, antidepressants, antibiotics, antifungals, antimalarials etc.

Sorry, hadn't finished. The point was that these are used by millions of people world wide every day, and the risk of fatal arrhythmia for most people is tiny.

Well, this is going well isn't it?

Turned out nice again.

Hi LiberalLibertines - best advice is to keep it weather-wise

Just for the record, if I was at a festival, and someone offered me a line of coke, I'd probably have some. I'm 41, so what?

I wouldn't bring it in the house or do it when I had the kids the next day.

Fuck me, it must be a boring Holiday or are you sat in the Airport?

'At 40, I am the youngest of 4 siblings that have all dabbled with drugs intermittently throughout our lives in social situations, and all of us continue to lead successful lives without our parents knowing (little or) anything about what has gone on behind past scenes.'

Oh Jolly Good for you when you go off and have 'fantastic fun' in the nightclubs like a teenager.
What if you hadn't had such a solid background and childhood though?
What if you came home to find your parents snorting coke or passed out in the hallway so you had to step over them? There is nothing less cool then when your parents do Drugs. It's cringeworthy.

I would consider that an incredibly irresponsible act, Libertines.

Forgive me for assuming you were the father of two little girls, Daddycool. Of course the terrible example you are setting is perfectly fine if your 4 and 6 year olds are both boys, and supporting the barbarism of misogynistic Afghan drug lords and their brutal counterparts in Central and South America is never going to have an impact on them, so keep on keeping on. It's perfectly acceptable that other people's children suffer in order to enable you to engage in your recreational choice.

You are part of the problem as a consumer of goods produced by organised crime just as you are part of the problem if you consume goods made in sweatshops.

And it seems from the increasingly angry tone of your recent intemperate posts that you still don't like facing reality.

As Gnome said upthread, The problem for parents who have taken drugs like the OP or daddydaddycool is that either they have to justify their drug taking or they have to admit to their teenage children that they were stupid.
And criminal, and callous about the lives of other people and their children. (*See 'karked it' as an example upthread.)

What is it going to be, Daddycool?

More trivially, what happens if you get stopped for going a little over the speed limit or having a headlight out or something and the Police pat you down and find that little something for the weekend.

It really doesnt matter whether you think the law is an ass. Getting caught in possession may easily result in a caution. A caution can follow you round like a bad smell. It can limit your career and it can make you look like a prat to your employer. More importantly it makes you look a prat to your children.

IIRC daddydaddycool's children are very young. He hasnt yet experienced the scorn of his teenage children. He will learn that the only thing which his children may find cool is the music of his age. The drug taking just looks sad and ridiculous.

I'm asking you again to respond to a single question, mathanxiety. You've avoided so many whilst espousing so much but let's focus on just ONE question, which you have failed to address, let alone answer. You said,

"I wonder how you as a father of two girls (iirc) can choose to use your disposable income for cocaine or ecstasy"

How or where did I suggest that I spend any of my disposable income on cocaine or ectsasy?

I've spent a lot of time trying to answer your questions whether you like the answers or not. Please answer my question.

GnomeDePlume - you're uncertain of your own argument and piggyback others who appear to maintain the consensus. Forge your own path.

sorry daddydaddycool you arent making sense

Good grief, this is a strange thread!

I realise OP's buggered off, but I couldn't see what the problem was to start with and still can't. Sixteen-year-old discovers parents are imperfect human beings. World rocks for a nanosecond. That's all, folks, come back next week.

As for the numerous posters treating recreational cocaine abuse as if it were indistinguishable from terminal meth addiction ... well

GnomeDePlume - either look back at what I have said and take it into account either way, or continue with your own unrelated insinuations. You just seem to make random statements that bear no relation to the discussion.

Does that make sense?

Daddydaddycool:

"I wonder how you as a father of two girls (iirc) can choose to use your disposable income for cocaine or ecstasy"
How or where did I suggest that I spend any of my disposable income on cocaine or ectsasy? -- you ask...

So here are your own words:
My own example: I spent a significant proportion of recreational time in my late teens and early 20's 'using' (yawn...) cannabis, MDMA, acid, cocaine (in decreasing order) then went about my daily business successfully. I kept it proportionate because I came from a solid family background and required no secondary emotional outlet, other than what we youth simply did in the early 90s then.

Since then, I have occasionally dabbled but in terms of years rather than months or weeks, e.g. I went to a party last July (2013) and had a few spliffs and lines of coke along with beer and red wine. Sure, it was a heavy night but my wife (we're now 40 with two DDs) who doesn't partake but had plenty of booze, was a mess the next day so I looked after the kids, relatively happily. Then nothing until May this year when I took two ecstasy pills in a club with old friends (fantastic fun!) but haven't hankered after them since.

I stand corrected.
There is in addition to cocaine and ecstasy acid and pot.

And look what the tide brought in!
we're now 40 with two DDs
Good to have that clarified.

Sorry daddydaddycool, no, you arent making sense. My comment was in reply to bringbacksideburns. You arent the only other poster on this thread.

He hasn't said he spent family money on them I never used to buy my own drugs.