24h before prom daughter breaks down, abandoned by "friends". Help.

[Northofengland7]

My daughter has just told us 4 girls going pre and after prom one house, and 2 do the same to another house, so that she is faced with us taking her, arriving alone, and being collected alone after the first (16yo) real social event of her life. We have been gently asking for weeks what is going on, and if anyone would like to come for Buck's Fizz with parents before, etc, all with replies "I'm not sure yet" etc. clearly (now) just fobbing us off, putting on a brave face.
Then... Floods of tears at bedtime, and 2 helpless parents unable to provide any sort of solution and feeling utterly helpless. She asked last night how she could get to 16 and have no friends, and I can't help her. Any small words of advice would be greatly appreciated. I am new to this website and whilst I know there are much worse things that could happen to a child, as parents we are distraught.

REALY glad that things went well I am sure your dd will learn a lot from this experience going forward

So pleased it went well :) yay to your dd and to you that's great

Absolutely brilliant! She did have all us MNetters wiling her to have a good time.

Wonderful! Was thinking of you both last night - so glad it went well

I'm shedding a little tear here

So pleased it turned out well :)

Hurrah. So pleased

Ahhhh so pleased for her and you

Ahh - such a moving thread.
So glad she had a great night!

I happened to bump into a prom night last night when I was picking dd up from ballet at our local school. It made me think of your dd and this thread.

Loads of the kids in their posh frocks arrived together in some kind of farm trailer. Then I saw a sprinkling of posh cars including two seater sports cars, some Dads dressed in their best suits perhaps dropping off their dd's.

They all looked set to have a great night together ...

Oh, and best bit, some kids rocked up in an ice-cream van which played a little tune as it rolled in. I'm copying that idea for dd and ds I reckon - thought it was very nostalgic with all those childhood memories of racing after the ice-cream van < sniff, sniff >

So glad everything turned out well in the end!

I was reading this thread last night, I'm so glad she had a great time. It's the kind of thing I imagine my dd potentially going through so hit a nerve with me.

I'm so pleased for your dd.

Brilliant love a happy ending x

6 th form will be a million times better x
. As a teacher I know that they do grow up over that summer as strange as that sounds. And there will be others from other schools .

You have a great DD -- many would have curled up in a corner and welcomed death instead of going alone.

Glad she had a good time in the end and I hope she will keep this memory in her 'credit' column in years to come.

Awww....This thread had made me get something in my eye.

My niece was very much like the OP's DD at school - a little bit on the shy side and despite being a sweet natured girl without a bad bone in her she always seemed to be everyone's peripheral friend, and was often ignored or excluded.

When she went to college (a very specialised one where she lived in Mon-Fri, and no-one else from her school was there) she made a whole set of new friends all with a common interest and now, three years on she could not be happier. She has grown in confidence and maturity and really doesn't look back.

I am not against proms exactly, but they undoubtedly create a whole new layer of teenaged angst to have to battle through, for those kids who are already feeling a little bit unsure of their place in the social hierarchy. It must be heartbreaking to have to watch your child as the realisation hits home that they are not particularly valued among the peers they consider their friends.

The best revenge is to go on and be happy and successful without them, and I am 100% sure she will be. The girls who are the dominant A listers at school are very often the ones who peak early and then crash and burn and go on to achieve little in life. Let's just feel smug about that.

And Crazynanna your DD is so fricking gorgeous I can only imagine that the bully girls are just jealous!

Yay. Happy ending.

So pleased it went. Often the worry of what might happen is worse than what does happen. Enjoy the summer and look forward to college

If it's any help at all, my daughter (18) went to her prom by herself and had a great time.

Oops, obviously I was a bit late to post. [oops]