24h before prom daughter breaks down, abandoned by "friends". Help.

[Northofengland7]

My daughter has just told us 4 girls going pre and after prom one house, and 2 do the same to another house, so that she is faced with us taking her, arriving alone, and being collected alone after the first (16yo) real social event of her life. We have been gently asking for weeks what is going on, and if anyone would like to come for Buck's Fizz with parents before, etc, all with replies "I'm not sure yet" etc. clearly (now) just fobbing us off, putting on a brave face.
Then... Floods of tears at bedtime, and 2 helpless parents unable to provide any sort of solution and feeling utterly helpless. She asked last night how she could get to 16 and have no friends, and I can't help her. Any small words of advice would be greatly appreciated. I am new to this website and whilst I know there are much worse things that could happen to a child, as parents we are distraught.

Is it a proper ball-type thing (ie with dinner as well?). If not, then perhaps you could go somewhere uber-posh for dinner first with you and her all dressed up, dh in a suit etc, before he drops her off at the prom in the 2-seater? That way, getting ready at home alone wouldn't be as noticeable, they'll look really flash when she gets dropped off, she gets to make the most of her outfit and, possibly, make the other girls a wee bit jealous?!

Similar happened to my girl couple of weeks ago at her Prom. Her friend group turned on her because of a fallout with one girl in the group. So, DDs friend from another school helped her get ready as they bedroom danced to Beyonce, I ordered an Executive flash minicab to take her in, and outside the venue bully girls were glaring at her, but she held her head high and chatted to loads of her peers.and, as after party was one of the bully girls, DD and I went for a slap up meal instead. DD the one in black dress with a girl from her History class

Since you have the car the problem is solved! She just needs to make out it was her first choice. I agree that you don't want to let her know that you and DH are upset on her behalf- keep to the positives.

Nice pic crazynanna

Thank you juggling

I have just been reading the local paper with prom pictures. One is of a boy arriving in a 2 seater car with his dad and he looks relaxed and happy- he and his dad both have their names on it. Another girl has a picture being wheeled in by her dad in a wheelbarrow! He has dressed up and they have lined the barrow! I think she needs to stop worrying and tell herself it will be fun.

The transport is a good talking point- it means she can go over to a group and comment and then walk in with them.

Ugh this is why I don't like the idea of proms. So much rides on them sometimes.

Your poor DD, kids can be horrible so wit es. I have nothing t add to the other good advice on here but I do dread this. DD is only 8 and the 'mean girls stuff' is already happening in her group.

Just seen this thread, can't add anymore to the great suggestions already made, but here to wish her (and you) a great day and let us know how it goes !

Bet your dd knocked em all dead crazy

Exit

She held her own in The Lions Den, and I am sure OPs DD will do the same

Much more positive today, and again thx for lovely advice/suggestions. Planning to use old 2 seater to arrive with dad, and head of year apologised for not coming back to me. She's calling back tomorrow. Will feel happier when she promises to keep an eye. Fingers crossed for a good day. X

I'm sure she is going to have a fantastic time

Tell your DD I (internet random!) think she is amazing for holding her head high and still going.
Do let us know how it went and a picture of the dress would be great.
Thinking of both of you today.

Me too. I hope she has a gorgeous time.

Hope it's all fab

Hope she has a great time! Let us know how it went. I'm sure that the fact you are more positive will rub off.

Tell your dd she is brave and wonderful for going to the prom.
Just in case there's a chance it all goes a bit wrong tonight, (fingers crossed it won't), I would secretly plan a special day for her tomorrow and spoil her rotten.
Hope she has a great night. The bullies will remain shallow and vacuous, your dd is rising above it which shows great strength of character.
for her.

Hope it goes well

How is she now? Has she left for prom yet?

I've been lurking and am wondering about her too

Oh i hope she's having an amazing time, teenage girls are horrid imo (i was one a long time ago!)
Hope it all went well for her :)

Hope it all goes well tonight!

Just read the thread, it bought a tear to my eye, I know how awful girls that age can be to each other.
My DS had his prom last night, he wasn't fussed about going but we bought the suit etc and 3 of them (all boys) went off in a friend of one of the dad's flashy sports cars
So different from DD's prom 7 years ago when it was all make up,hair, limos,bitching about who is wearing what etc etc
I really hope your DD has a good time tonight, please let us know OP