13 year old son having sex with 13 year old gf

[ROCKQUEEN]

Was shocked to discover my 13 year old son is having sex with his girlfriend. They've been doing it in his bedroom, even though I said door must remain open. Pleased they are using condoms but said no way are they doing it here. She's not allowed to have him at her house and her parents are strict (her dad doesn't even know she has a boyfriend). They did it again, in my parents house (my dad caught them), then my husband caught them in my other son's room at it. I went round and told her mother. Although it was a bit tricky as she (the mother) doesn't speak English, although she understood me alright when I introduced myself and told her they were having sex. I thought she had the right to know. I have a 10yr old daughter and i would want to know. Plus I felt I was dealing with this alone and wasn't sure what to to/how to deal with it. I told the GF I wanted her to talk to her mum about the pill and I was worried an accident might happen. Cross with my son for being so blatant and not seeming to care where he does it, even though I don't condone it, I'm realistic to know they are not going to stop even though they can't do it here. She is no longer allowed here. Not really sure how to deal with it, how to deal with him. Any advice? thanks

[chrome100]

I agree some of the comments are harsh.

I think they are very young and this kind of behaviour should be discouraged. That said, my DP lost his virginity at 13 and has gone on to be perfectly fine and successful in his relationships. It doesn't always spell disaster (and I say this as someone who lost mine at 22!)

[mummytowillow]

Why is he allowed in a room alone with her if you know they've had sex?

Ground him, before you know it she'll be pregnant or he could be charged with USI. That will stay with him forever.

This is up to you to stop!

[LegoCaltrops]

Reported

[Travelledtheworld]

Feel for you Rockqueen.
But I am very concerned about the GF and her family. You said her father is very strict. Does he know about this yet ? Is he likely to punish her in a way we more liberal people would feel is not acceptable ?

(So thankful my DD got to 18 before she had sex with first boyfriend...)

[portico]

Shocked by the relaxed culture in the OP's household. Right-on immoral parenting. True kids are more clued up then they ever were, but 13 years of age. Shit! Fuck! It beggars belief!!!

[Orthanc]

Zombie thread resurrected by one hell of a weird troll.

[portico]

I did not see the date of thread. Ignore my response

[Orthanc]

Got to wonder what they googled to get here

[sashh]

He is also 13. So could not be done for statutory rape anymore than she could be done for raping him!

We don't have Romeo and Juliet laws in this country, they can both be prosecuted.

OP

I think you need some frank discussions with your son about the dangers he is exposing himself and his gf to.

From STDs to a criminal record via if she gets pregnant so young her body may never recover.

If he thinks he is old enough to have sex then he needs to be old enough for the responsibility of having sex.

I think I'd be marching him down to the local STD clinic for a check up.

I think you also need to discuss the dangers of his gf's family set up. If parents are so strict she may have had little to no sex education and not understand fully what is happening. I know that sounds crazy but it can be surprising what young people don't know.

Also you mentioned her mother doesn't speak English, you do not mention the gf's culture, he also needs to be aware of 'honour' violence if not with this girl then with any future gf.

Also porn. What porn is he watching? Does he know that lots of porn depicts things that are illegal?

[Wanda354]

No real advice but am very sympathetic. I also have a DS and DD in early teens and am dreading this as they get home from school a couple of hours before I get home from work - I don't actually know what I would be able to do to prevent unauthorised visitors in my absence if the DC were to flout the rules.

13 is too young but sadly it seems to be not uncommon. Perhaps the most you can do is make your rules very clear, and deliver the message about condoms and safe sex on a regular basis.

[LegoCaltrops]

ZOMBIE THREAD

ZOMBIE THREAD

ZOMBIE THREAD

[rizlett]

Although I agree 13 is young - we are all different - even the views in this thread are different - please op don't be too hard on yourself - these things happen - and I actually think its good he was open enough to do it at home (rather than sneaking around) - it's also important he doesn't get a negative association with sex - as it is actually a wonderful thing - at the right time in the right place - and sometimes in the wrong place at the wrong time too.
He also was (even at 13) responsible enough to use precautions - I hope he gets appreciation for that - don't let this issue cloud your relationship with him too much. In 5 years time - will it be such a big deal?

[Sparklingbrook]

RTFT everyone. It's a ZOMBIE from 2014 resurrected by a very strange TROLL.

[JustDanceAddict]

Sorry but that's statutory rape. I'd be having serious words with your DS. I have a 13 yr old son too and he is nowhere near emotionally ready for a gf, ok some are as they develop earlier but they should not be having sex in year 8 and should not be left in the house in a position where it could happen.

[JustDanceAddict]

Sorry didn't see date eithe!

[kizzle]

This thread is almost 3 years old.
I would say said DS & GF (if they are still together) are now 16 or almost 16 so it's fine!

[Sparklingbrook]

The thread that never dies....

[AlisonHendrix]

No 13 yr olds should be having intercourse!!!!! Far too young!!!! If my DS/DD were having sex they would never hear the end of it!!!! (Maybe I'm just an old nag?) You did the right thing telling her parents!!!

[Sparklingbrook]

[Orthanc]

alright there sparkling?

[Sparklingbrook]

No!I am stuck like this.