Marijuana plants - irresponsible parenting or pragmatism ?!

[Claybury]

My DS 16 and his friends regularly smoke weed on weekend night - something I hate but really have no power to stop. I have often wondered how they afford /obtain it. Well it seems quite normal to grow your own plant now, DS says his mates do, and tried to persuade DH that it's a good idea, avoids using dealers, and I think they grow a mild strain - they also know what they are getting. ( not skunk).
I will not allow this in my house as I do not want anyone in my family smoking anything but with other parents allowing it and the boys not touching alcohol as usual I am the out of touch strict bad guy. DH doesn't like him smoking anything but seemed almost persuaded by the arguments ( he told DS 'your mum would never allow it ')
Someone back me up please !!!!!

hobbjobb and bump the problem is that the strains are so much stronger now than before and you do not know what has been added.
that is why it is not such a bad idea to grow your own,
not in your mum's house though obvs.

The 'big issue' is the growing it.

Which has serious consequences.

The law does not care if someone thinks that growing it ought to be ok. Or that growing it means good quality control. Or that they are going to do it anyway so you may as well make sure it is ok.

The law says that if you are growing it, you are a drug supplier/dealer and it acts accordingly if it is discovered.

That is not hysteria. It is a fact. Hysteria would be talking about something that could not happen, does not happen, is not true.

None of that applies to something that is legally true.

That said don't let him grow it.

He will sell it, he will get into trouble,

Have you seen anyone suffering with psychosis related to drug use though Bump ? I have.I have also known people who use it medicinally.

I have tried most drugs known to womankind, so I'm not green ( so to speak), but there is a world of difference between growing under your own roof, and being aware of some drug use going on.

I don't think it's a 'one size fits all' sort of issue.

Sorry x posted.

I'm with you. It might sound logical but it is illegal and it would also condone him using it. He'll grow out of it probably but just because he is daft enough to smoke weed doesn't mean that you have to collude in his dirty little habit

Hello OP.

My son was smoking it when he was 16/17, I did a lot about it as there is plenty you can do, if you can be bothered.
Firstly, he was grounded, regularly checked. Had to drop his dippy mates and find some nice friends who didn't do weed.
Guess what, he stopped. When they have their money stopped are grounded etc, they soon want to behave.

Maryz, I'm not familiar with your sons story. Was it just weed or did he fall into other things?

I'm not looking to pick holes, I'm genuinely interested. I've been researching the effects of weed for a while now and always like to hear of different experiences.

I had a friend that smoked from 14 and ended up with major mental health problems, I can't say for sure that the weed caused that but I have noticed that those that link weed with mental health seem to be the ones that started smoking very young (pre 16) an age that it would never be available to, legal or not.

The brain continues to develop into your 20s

Most people are "fine" with a bit of weed, a bit of alcohol, a few lines of fcocaine here or there....( "fine" as long as they are not the person hit by a hit and run by a driver who is high, oh, it is all do "harmless" )

But I know one guy in whom it triggered schizophrenia, and one friend got psychotic, and spent 3 months jn a closed ward.

Also, allowing him to do this enforces his beliefs that " the laws and rules are for other people, they don't apply to him" and there are too many people like that already...

I don't smoke weed, or anything else, but I know a few people that do. Many of them are otherwise 'normal' people, with 'normal' jobs. One is even a prison officer. I can certainly see the attraction of avoiding doing business with drug dealers.

Growing a bit for your own use is not on the same scale as the 'cannabis farms' where a house has hundreds of plants, specialist equipment and a massive stolen electricity usage.

The chance of being caught is tiny, unless they are trying to grow it in their front garden and live opposite a police station.

If they are only growing one plant each, I would be surprised if they would be prosecuted for this, in the absence of any evidence that they are selling drugs, and without previous convictions.

In Spain it is legal to grow one plant for your own use. I think that if the UK was a bit more relaxed about drug laws, we would have a lot fewer problems with drugs and drug crime.

Maryz

Yes we were lucky, but I wouldn't have pushed him so hard if I had thought he'd have run away, disappeared, lived on the streets and died.
The OP stated there was nothing she could do about it, I was saying there was and of course it is worth a try, no?
I have known people in that situation though and have helped several prostitutes who were addicts. I have housed them, helped them come off drugs and alcohol, seen things that many haven't. held the hand of a young girl who would have died had it not been for the sheer size of her body. A lesser person would have died, she was in a coma for 6 weeks, no family or friends.
So until you know a persons background I suggest you Fuck off to fuck off land, keep walking and don't stop until you've fucked off.

Maryz

I am sorry for swearing at you, but I hate people swearing at me.
I have read many of your posts in the past and really warmed to you.
Even though you swore at me, I still think you know a great deal and help a lot of people.
My background isn't as a professional, I just cared for these people at the time and place we were. Our children were small at the time and I was able to help. I respect anybody who does this as a profession.
Sorry if I sounded smug.

Minim - how on earth do you get a 16 year old to change his friends ? !!! I've already said he has no allowance. He didn't care when I stopped it. I now realise if his mates are growing weed it's a free supply ! I search his room regularly, only ever find rizzla papers /lighters , never drugs. I signed him up with a drug counsellor, spoke to his teachers. So please don't think I can't ' be bothered'.

It's pretty hard to convince him to stop. He's very motivated , is polite at home, has taken up a couple of new hobbies lately, wants to get good GCSE's and really cares about his school work, adheres to our curfews. He doesn't think he's doing badly, and apart from the actual smoking, I'd say he's doing pretty well for a 16 year old.