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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

how do you feel about 16 year olds drinking?

36 replies

littlegreenlight1 · 19/03/2014 08:27

I don't mean getting out of it, but having a few at a friend's ( supervised as in parents are in the house) ?
hmmmmm

OP posts:
BillyBanter · 19/03/2014 08:28

Indifferent.

Original poster
littlegreenlight1 · 19/03/2014 08:29

ps obviously I know it's illegal etc, but I knew that when I was doing it too! I'll be back to this later!

OP posts:
Xfirefly · 19/03/2014 08:35

I used to do it...at a friend's house...and was supervised kind of but you always get that one person who hides alcohol in a bag and gets off their face. or maybe that's just my experience. on my 16th bday I had 5 friends round and we had one wkd each Blush.

sneakyday · 19/03/2014 08:40

Good lord i drank more between the ages of 16 and 18 than i have in the 15 years since put together.

Having said that I was always in places and with peopl that I trusted. And I didnt black out or do anything more silly than throw up or snog someone when drunk

Flexiblefriend · 19/03/2014 08:43

Its not actually illegal if its done in someones house, you can give 5 year olds alcohol legally at home. I don't see a problem with it as long as they aren't hanging round street corners getting hammered.

janinlondon · 19/03/2014 08:43

I dont think it is illegal??

janinlondon · 19/03/2014 08:44

Ooops cross posted! This is from the UK Govt website:

If you’re under 18 and drinking alcohol in public, you can be stopped, fined or arrested by police.

If you’re under 18, it is against the law:

for someone to sell you alcohol
to buy or try to buy alcohol
for an adult to buy or try to buy alcohol for you
to drink alcohol in licensed premises (eg a pub or restaurant)

However if you’re 16 or 17 and accompanied by an adult, you can drink (but not buy) beer, wine or cider with a meal.

If you’re 16 or under, you may be able to go to a pub (or premises primarily used to sell alcohol) if you’re accompanied by an adult. However, this isn’t always the case. It can also depend on:

the specific conditions for that premises
the licensable activities taking place there

It’s illegal to give alcohol to children under 5.

Dwerf · 19/03/2014 08:44

I think it's part of learning to drink responsibly and I'd prefer if my teens drank supervised. That way if too much IS imbibed, there's someone to drape them over the toilet and keep an eye on them. For my dd1's 16th, I bought a dozen bottles of low strength beer for half a dozen teens. They all got tipsy, no-one got drunk. My older kids are now both past 18, I rarely see them more than tipsy.

teenagetantrums · 19/03/2014 08:52

I have let mine drink since about 15, not loads, but a drink with a meal on a special occasion. They are 17 ans 19 now, they both drink at parties, probaley more than they they tell me, but have never seen them falling over or vomiting drunk unlike some of their Friends. At my daughters 17th birthday party, we had one girl turn up so drunk before the party started she could hardly stand, had to call her parents to come and get her.

Original poster
littlegreenlight1 · 19/03/2014 08:52

Dd is 16.5, been drunk once and wants to go to a party this weekend. I say party, 7 of them in a house, with parents around.
she has to work the next day so is apprehensive anyway but also she likes to stay at my parents house Friday nights as she's much closer to work and I haven't got a car.
I've said if she drinks she can't stay there, I want her home where I can keep an eye on her, but this means paying for a cab, then walking a coupe of miles to work with a possible sore head the next day.
so doesn't sound like a brilliant idea full stop but I don't know how I feel about it all, not ready for drunken teen!
the whole " can my boyfriend stay round after" debate rages on....

OP posts:
cory · 19/03/2014 09:00

I am happy (or at least I would be happy if her health allowed it) for dd to drink a glass of wine at home, with a meal, under my supervision.

I would not buy alcohol for a party attended by other under-age teens a) because I do not know what their parents would think about it b) all evidence suggests that I could not hope to control and supervise their intake in this kind of setting c) I do not want to take risks with somebody else's child

I do, however, accept that when dd goes to parties there will be alcohol present and it is her responsibility how she handles that. I have discussed risks and pitfalls, both generally and with reference to her own peculiar situation (medication and health issues). We haven't had a problem so far (17 1/2) and she says her friends don't really mind if she drinks or not; there is no pressure. We'll see how it goes with ds.

chocoluvva · 19/03/2014 09:05

So tricky. Obviously this is no help - sorry - but in this situation I'd make it a condition of going that I picked her up from the party. Could she get a lift home with any of the others?

yourlittlesecret · 19/03/2014 15:06

Supervised drinking of modest amounts fine.
DS2 is 16 and takes 1 bottle of cider to a party. We would always pick him up though.

sinningsaint · 19/03/2014 17:07

The subject never really came up with DD1 who is now 21 and still barely drinks but 16 y/o DD2 started goin to parties around this time last year. Started with giving her 2/3 small cans of pre-mixed bacardi and coke or pimms and lemonade and have gradually worked up to 2-3 bottles of cider/any beer or lager we have in the house. She has never been stinking drunk to the point of vomiting but has had a sore head after the last few i suspect she is drinking more than we think. She is going to a party on saturday and is desperate for a bottle of vodka as ALL her 'friends drink it and are sensible' are apparantly, but not entirely sure what to do. Tempted to measure out maybe 4 shots in put into 2 bottles of orange juice or something and see how we get on.. IMO i am just glad she isn't out on the streets and even though the parents may not be in like she says they are somewhere relatively controlled and with friends i trust.

Original poster
littlegreenlight1 · 19/03/2014 18:29

I can't pick her up, I'm a single parent with an 8 year old and no car at the moment....

I don't know yet. haven't spoken to her tonight yet.

I'll wait until l.o is in bed, pour myself a large glass of red Wink and brace myself for an argument Wink Wink Wink

OP posts:
Innogen · 19/03/2014 20:03

I think it's a good thing. I started drinking in the home as a 15 year old, and by the time I was an adult the novelty had worn off and I had a very safe, normal attitude to alcohol.

I also bloody love wine, and shared this love with DD. I introduced her to wines as a teenager over evening meals. It's useful knowledge IMO.

Innogen · 19/03/2014 20:03

It's not illegal! They can't by, but you can drink in the home legally from aged 5.

Original poster
littlegreenlight1 · 19/03/2014 21:07

Thing is, its not a regular thing.
She had some friends over last summer (so wasnt even 16) and though a few of them drank (I spoke to their parents) she was so worried about people getting drunk she wouldnt partake and sent them home early.

Her 16th birthday, 10 friends and a lot of family, we shared 2 bottles of cava between the girls and the adults, so they got a tiny flute or two each - they had bought a few drinks round but my friend and I did a sweep of their room and confiscated the litre of vodka one girl had bought, I wasnt prepared to allow that.

Then once she went to a party at her bf's house and ended up being sick in their downstairs loo with HIS mum holding her hair back before bringing her home where she was very giggly but that was about it .

So its not something she is " in to" as such, but you just cant be sure theyll be sensible enough.

I am enjoying that glass of red while I mull this over.

OP posts:
chocoluvva · 19/03/2014 23:10

I didn't allow DD much in the way of drink until she was 17 - DH and I were careless one NYE when she was 16 and she got slightly drunk (and confessed recently that she was sick). And we gave her two bottles of beer to take to a party - adults present - when she was 16.5. Her BF's mum asked if she could give them one bottle of beer one Friday evening.

However, she regularly goes to parties and stays over now that she's 17 - with no adults there and has a few drinks. So far she's been fine. So I think there's something to be said for a gradual introduction to drinking. The staying-over, aged 16 would bother me too, especially as you can't take her home if need be.

FWIW - I let her boyfriend of six months stay over when she was 16.

Is your DD desperate to go? (sorry if that's a stupid question). I ask because DD at 16 occasionally asked if she could do things that I wasn't terribly happy with but agreed to let her, only for her to subsequently tell me that she wouldn't have minded if I'd said no.

Nocomet · 19/03/2014 23:25

Since we drank in the pub and disco bars from 14, I can't get very wound up about it.

By the time I got to university I was happy to sit in my flat and drink tea with my mates.

Compared to our big touring disco a night club, with expensive drinks, clock room queues and taxi fares had no appeal at all.

cory · 20/03/2014 07:09

Now, I would get wound up about my under-age teens drinking in bars and pubs. That is risking somebody else's livelihood. My dc know perfectly well why I would consider that unacceptable.

cory · 20/03/2014 07:12

choccoluvva makes a good point about finding out how much she wants to go

I came down the heavy parent last week about a sleepover immediately before an exam and dh reported back that dd was really grumpy about it

when I got home dd didn't seem noticeably grumpy; she later admitted that she hadn't actually been fussed about going at all, but had promised her friend she would ask

mindgone · 20/03/2014 23:14

Could all of you stay over at your parents' for the night?

Nocomet · 21/03/2014 01:22

Oh I'm a 100% our local policeman knew, but in a town with 14 pubs, it paid not to notice.

Nocomet · 21/03/2014 01:24

Very small town/large village which is still rumoured to have the most pubs per head of population despite the town growing and a couple of pubs closing.