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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Please tell me what to do about pocket money now she has a job...

37 replies

Gymbob · 15/02/2014 22:42

DD2 is 14, and has just got a paper round that pays £100 per month. She gets £35 per month pocket money. She also gets £15 a month from another source. That's £150 a month at 14?!

What do I do? What do you do? Do I stop the pocket money now she's earning?

HELP!

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 15/02/2014 22:44

Could you stick the pocket money in a bank account/ISA for her? That is a heck of a lot of money for a paper round - wow! Smile

gamerchick · 15/02/2014 22:45

yes i would.

SecretNutellaFix · 15/02/2014 22:46

Yes, I would. If the other source is still giving their bit as well, then she has no need of the £35 allowance.

cory · 15/02/2014 22:48

I would stick the money in an account, at least if she has younger siblings. Would be very unfair if you stopped her money because she is working and then ended up giving it to a younger sibling who couldn't be bothered to get a job.

everydayaschoolday · 15/02/2014 22:51

Depends on what you expect her to do with all the money? So, if she's going to buy her own clothes now, then you could still give her pocket money for socialising (cinema with friends etc), but you're off the hook for clothes buying. Would you consider holding a meeting to discuss it with her? Talk through expectations and find out from her perspective what she thinks is 'fair'? She seems fairly responsible in getting a job, she may well have a mature and responsible solution/POV.

Milliways · 15/02/2014 22:54

I carried on giving my DS his monthly allowance after he got a job, as seemed unfair to penalise him for getting a job at 15 (and he was earning money already by selling sweets at school!).
He ended up using his pocket money for his spending money etc and he saved all his wages as they were paid directly into his account. He had a very healthy balance saved for Uni.

Original poster
Gymbob · 15/02/2014 22:59

If I tell her I'm going to stick all the money in her bank account for her, she won't do the job. She is already dreaming of the amount of clothes she can buy, the make up, the ipad, etc etc. She has said that she does want to put a certain amount each month away in her account though.

It's a lot of money for a paper round yes. I was seriously considering doing it myself if she decided against it!

She thinks it's very unfair that I stop the pocket money if she gets a job. DD1 works too, but that is a voluntary job she does all day Sunday so no payment for it (she does it for love - horses).

I thought stopping the pocket money when they get a job was the done thing, but I do see her point. DD1 is still on full pocket money as she's not earning.

How about if I half the amount?

Really don't know what to do to be fair Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Gymbob · 15/02/2014 23:03

Yes, I'll do that - ask her what she thinks is fair. Well, when I say that, I already know what she'll say, but we'll have to reach a compromise I think....

And yes I do feel in a way I'm penalising her for getting a job, but it's the £150 a month that's sticking in my throat....it seems such a lot of money for a 14 yr old

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 15/02/2014 23:10

It is a huge amount of money. I suppose you could always call her bluff and tell her you're putting it in an account for her - and if she complains then tell her that she doesn't have to take the job, but she'll be £65 a month down!

Either that, or agree how much she will save and how much she will spend. £150 is too much to just fritter away spend on teenage girl 'essentials' each month

Original poster
Gymbob · 15/02/2014 23:16

She won't be able to fritter away all of it, no way. We'll have to agree how much she is going to save. But I still don't know how much pocket money to deduct, if any.....

OP posts:
Original poster
Gymbob · 16/02/2014 09:28

any more thought please, still don't know what to do Sad

OP posts:
ItsJourneyTime · 16/02/2014 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

everydayaschoolday · 16/02/2014 09:35

I think if she gets the best of both worlds - job money and pocket money, then she has to take responsibility for buying some of her own things now, like toiletries, clothes, going out with friends, contributing towards school trips etc. But the lines need to be drawn up and agreed so there is no room for misunderstanding Wink at a later date when she's run out of cash and has no cinema money for the weekend!

Good luck. I don't think it's an easy one, but it is a fantastic opportunity for her to learn about money management. Making mistakes at 14 with pin-money can be a wonderful learning point and make her a better budget-er in the long term when it comes to all the real stuff about bills and commitments and credit. It probably seems like loads of money to her now, but add in the personal consumables that she could become responsible for, and that cash will soon dwindle. And if she's the one to put money aside for savings, all the better (rather than you doing it for her).

I say give her the benefit of the doubt, and help her manage her money, drawing up budget plans if necessary. Also a good idea if those savings could have a mid-term goal so she has a focus to save for and she can see the reward for savings.

sunbathe · 16/02/2014 09:36

I think she would see it as bitterly unfair if you took away her allowance and are still paying for dd1.

Why not wait and see how it goes for a couple of months? Presumably it's a substantial amount of work to be worth £100 a month? She might decide not to do it after a bit.

If she's earning her own money, why not let her fritter it away? You're obviously happy with dd1 not earning and frittering her time away on horses.

everydayaschoolday · 16/02/2014 09:38

good point sunbathe about sticking to the job and 'frittering'.

sunbathe · 16/02/2014 09:39

Oh and my teens were allowed to spend their paper round money as they wanted to. Still got their allowance on top.

frenchfancy · 16/02/2014 09:40

If you are still paying pocket money to DD1 I don't see how you can stop DD2s pocket money. I would be tempted to have a family limit - say 16 yrs - for pocket money and make it clear that after that every one is expected to pay their way.

tootiredtothink · 16/02/2014 09:41

Don't stop her pocket money. So unfair to penalize her for getting a job. And a paper round isn't an easy job either....see if she sticks at it.

I've always thought pocket money stops once they're in a job as adults.

Follyfoot · 16/02/2014 09:51

We had exactly the same issue with DD at 14. Her allowance continued unchanged but our expectations of what she paid for changed. So she had to buy some of her own clothes (apart from school uniform), birthday/christmas presents for family and friends, trips out with friends and her own phone bill. Also she was expected to bring a little bit of spending money on family holidays and save some.

It worked well for us. She still had that sense of earning her own money and benefiting from it, which was really important - she has worked ever since, including whilst at Uni and I think this was in part due to knowing that work=money=financial freedom. At the same time though, there wasnt a feeling that we were penalising her for working byt taking her allowance away or reducing it. Best of luck whatever you do...

HermioneWeasley · 16/02/2014 09:58

If you are giving pocket money to her sister, it seems like punishing her for working

I think I'd keep the pocket money going (assuming you can afford it) but say she has to put half her earnings into savings. My parents made me put half of my money earned and half of birthday/Xmas money into savings and it ended up being the deposit on my first house! (Long time ago when houses were cheap and deposits low)

PsychicPaper · 16/02/2014 10:47

i wouldnt take way pocket money, it penalises her for having the initiative to get a job.

I had one a that age, and was paid cash, every week I split my money into 3 envelopes, 1 to spend, and 2 to save.

At 17 I paid for all my driving lessons and my first car with one envelope, and at the end of a levels travelled to new zealand for a month with the third.

I am still a good saver now, and the only debt I have ever had is my mortgage.

If I had had my pocket money taken away, then i would have thought "whats the point"? I have to put in the effort to work but am not any better off than when i didnt and have less time to see friends etc

TheBookofRuth · 16/02/2014 10:57

My mum started charging me board once I got a job, could you keep the £35 as her "board"? Or if you don't want to do that, tell her that's what you're doing but actually stick it in savings for her?

itsbetterthanabox · 16/02/2014 11:04

You could just say she has to buy all her clothes and non essential toiletries now she has the work and the pocket money. It will teach her to budget a bit and feel a bit more independent.

yourlittlesecret · 16/02/2014 12:43

I wouldn't dream of stopping the pocket money until they have proper full time employment.
I made both DSs open a young person's current account. It gives them a debit card but not a cheque book or overdraft. I pay pocket money into that account and they have to "manage" it.
DS1 is older and gets an allowance for clothing, hair cuts etc. He also has a small part time job but I still pay his allowance.

ajandjjmum · 16/02/2014 12:46

What about establishing an amount she is to save, and then you match it - always assuming she doesn't save £60 or something!