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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Living in their bedrooms.

41 replies

Onesieone · 15/02/2014 21:39

I have a dd aged 12 and a ds aged 14. They spend the majority of their time in their bedrooms! I'm so fed up with it. If I make them
Stay down with us all I get is attitude and huffs!
How long do ur teenagers spend in their rooms. Or How can I turn this around. I miss their company! It isn't healthy to be closed up in their room all that time.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 15/02/2014 21:41

DS1 (14) permanently in his room. He's happy. hH has all his gadgets and Skype, and the TV. He doesn't want to come down and sit with us fuddy duddys. Grin

Sparklingbrook · 15/02/2014 21:42

Oh and DS2 is 12 and spends loads of time downstairs with us, dictating what we watch on TV and being LOUD.

Amandine29 · 15/02/2014 21:44

Most teens do this, they will come round in a few years. I wouldn't force them to spend time with you though, it will only cause resentment.

MoreBeta · 15/02/2014 21:46

We have DSs in family room with computers. Not allowed in bedrooms with electronic items.

However, we are having basement refurbished to give then their own space but am worried we will never see them. Just go to school, come home, go to basement. Seems a sad way to live but in truth they are happy as long as we are around. They worry if we aren't.

We started a thing where we all eat together at weekends so we can talk in a relaxed way.

Original poster
Onesieone · 15/02/2014 21:48

Hmm They r too old to sit with Mum now. They don't even chat that much anymore unless they want something. Hmm

OP posts:
AnythingNotEverything · 15/02/2014 21:50

I think eating together us a great way to minimise their isolation. Also, particularly with teenage boys, an "all food must be eaten downstairs" rule ensures you see quite a lot of them.

RudyMentary · 15/02/2014 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook · 15/02/2014 21:54

DS1 is not allowed to eat meals up in his room. Although he does have a bag of popcorn as we speak-he's playing FIFA on the PS.

Original poster
Onesieone · 15/02/2014 21:55

Well I have to say they never eat in their rooms. I'm a little OCD about food in bedrooms. Totally unhygienic and bad manners. Lol. We all eat together at the table. Maybe I'm being too needy.

OP posts:
RudyMentary · 15/02/2014 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Onesieone · 15/02/2014 22:31

Lol Rudy me too!!!

OP posts:
MrsWOLF1 · 15/02/2014 22:37

Ds lived in his room.dss does the same here for the weekend sat with us for dinner then straight back to his room ds lives abroad now & we communicate more than when he lived at home!!

Innogen · 16/02/2014 13:32

In my experience they emerge and become normal human beings at about 20.

Sparklingbrook · 16/02/2014 13:41

DS1 (14) has been away all week on work experience. He came back yesterday. I asked DH if he had missed him. DH said it wasn't any different as he's always upstairs anyway. Sad

chocoluvva · 16/02/2014 16:45

"become normal human beings at about 20" . Faints! I don't know if I can wait that long - I thought the re-normalising was supposed to start about the age of 17. How disappointing.

Sparklingbrook · 16/02/2014 16:47

choco , it sounds like we are in for a long haul. Five more years....

Innogen · 16/02/2014 17:17

Fraid so! DD is 22 and a proper human now. Was hard, horrible at times, but so worth it.

Mabelface · 16/02/2014 17:22

I text my teenagers too. :D

ihatethecold · 16/02/2014 17:27

Same in this house.
He is happy though.
The dog keeps me company now!

badasahatter · 16/02/2014 17:30

Dd is 13 now and she gets home from school and disappears directly into her bedroom. She stays there til tea time, eats her evening meal with us, makes us watch awful television for an hour (dinner date, dance moms, etc) then goes to bed. She reads, does homework and plays on her phone. I see her rarely over the weekend too.

If we didn't insist on family meals, we'd never ever see her!

2kidsintow · 16/02/2014 17:30

DH stresses that DD spends too long in her room and we don't see much of her.

This is the same DH that wired an intercom up in his own family home as a teen so his Mum could buzz him to tell him that his dinner was ready.

We've stuck with 'must eat meals down here' too :)

gamerchick · 16/02/2014 17:33

It's normal.. its handy as well as my 14 yr Lear old tends to hang around me and wrap himself around my neck like a scarf when there's something up and he needs his mam.

I'm probably lucky like that though.

flow4 · 16/02/2014 17:41

It's normal. DS2 is 14 and has just started this. I miss him. DS1 was pretty horrible at 14-17+ so I didn't mind his absence so much.
choco DS1 is becoming quite human again - he's nearly 19. Grin

MoreBeta · 16/02/2014 18:06

DSs away skiing this week. They just emailed to say they are OK.

DW went all mushy and I must say I had been thinking about them too.

You miss them when they aren't around - even though when they are around they never speak to you except if they want something.

Starballbunny · 16/02/2014 18:26

My 16y speaks, watches TV and eats with us, always has. DD2 (almost 13) often doesn't, she likes to watch Utube, play SIMs and text her mates. Never as chatty with us as DD1.

DD2 will appear downstairs for a chat, a hug and still fall asleep head on my knee watching TV like a toddler, but it's absolutely when she wants company.