Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Living in their bedrooms.

41 replies

Onesieone · 15/02/2014 21:39

I have a dd aged 12 and a ds aged 14. They spend the majority of their time in their bedrooms! I'm so fed up with it. If I make them
Stay down with us all I get is attitude and huffs!
How long do ur teenagers spend in their rooms. Or How can I turn this around. I miss their company! It isn't healthy to be closed up in their room all that time.

OP posts:

Bonsoir · 16/02/2014 18:27

I wish we had this problem!!!

teenagetantrums · 16/02/2014 22:35

My DD lived in her room from 13 until 16, the last year she is back in the lounge talking to me and demanding i watch american rubbish on TV, i missed her while she was being a stropy teenager, but really sometimes I long for peace and the remote, so it does get better. My DS is 19 he has only just started living in his room, but I think my DD has driven him to it, she does talk lots these days.

PantsInWash · 16/02/2014 23:10

Our DCs are similar, usually plugged into something or reading if their screens have been removed from them... No computers in their robs, though.

To counter this we have all meals/food downstairs, meals as a family a couple of times during the week and always at weekends. I like the idea of family nights but I'm not sure e could ever agree on an activity or film.

PantsInWash · 16/02/2014 23:11

In their rooms (!)

Original poster

Onesieone · 17/02/2014 06:28

Well I feel much better. More reassured that it's not just my terrible company which has driven them to their rooms. We have just insisted ds brings xbox down to the play room as we discovered he was playing late at night (seems obvious now) and we have wired wifi so it can be turned off except to certain devices after 8pm. At least this way I feel better they aren't surfing all night.

OP posts:

Timetoask · 17/02/2014 06:45

Ms css are still little but this is my plan of action:
absolutely no computers or electronic equipment in the bedrooms.
Keep the bedrooms as simple and small as possible (no desks either), just for sleeping and reading a book.
We have a family room which I plan to make nice and comfy for them! but its downstairs and near the lounge!

Lets see if it works!!!!! I shall report back in several years.

sandyballs · 17/02/2014 11:15

I'm dreading this, mine are 13 and seem to still want to sit with us, so far. Although they're usually plugged into ipads or mucking about on phones.

Andy1964 · 17/02/2014 15:35

Oh yeah, just remebered I have two DS although can't remember the last time I saw them (10 and 14)

Joking aside, it's normal. We see them at meal times and when they want something, other than that they stay upstairs as all their entertainment is either in their rooms or in the 'Den'

Suits us as we get privacy and get to watch what we want on TV.

DrNick · 17/02/2014 15:37

god mine dont - I wish they would!

they sprawl around like 6 foot long lions downstairs

if anyone is in their room its me trying to get some p and q

MoreBeta · 17/02/2014 15:58

Timetoask - we had that arrangement. Exactly that. They wanted their own study bedrooms. I am having them built today as we speak but really I don't like the idea and they definitely will not be allowed up there except to work.

The basement is the chilling out space - I just need to have that kitted out next. Honestly, I think I will have to start making diary appointments to see my children soon.

yourlittlesecret · 17/02/2014 16:40

Timetoask That worked beautifully for us up until they were about 14.
The fact is they need their own space and privacy as they grow up and computer for school work once GCSEs approach.
Both DSs got a desk and PC in their room in Year 9. They do spend a lot of time there. I call DS2 (15) the cave dweller.
Our living room is a bit of a den. Surround sound and huge sofa sand very messy. Also if I have the honour of their company I always let them choose what to watch or they will wander off.
We do always eat together in the dining room though. DS1 (18) likes watching the same stuff as me on tv so we bond over that for an hour or so each evening.

ZingSweetApple · 17/02/2014 17:27

mine are similar and I used to do the same.

I see nothing wrong with needing one's own company.

sorry you miss them, but this is normal teen behaviour

shey02 · 17/02/2014 23:09

One out of three does this. But we're all happy campers and so is he. Plus we do alot together outside of the house, so it's no bother at all.

bevelino · 19/02/2014 23:53

My dd's used to do this until I played them at their own game. For a full week I came home from work went straight upstairs and stayed in the bedroom and relaxed and didn't speak. When challenged by dd's I grunted at them that they stay in their rooms every night and from now on so will I. Furthermore, everyone can prepare their own meals, do their own washing etc and they are to leave me alone. It worked!

t875 · 21/02/2014 15:16

We get us altogether with the wii games and also board games. We play logo quiz, pictureka, and other games we've started playing scrabble. We also watch films together and me and dd are now watching the sewing b.

Find what you both will like on tv but of bribery maybe a cup cake or hot choc together.
My eldest was constantly upstairs but she now breaks it up
Good luck!! X

Capitola · 21/02/2014 15:24

Ours 11 and 15 are only in their rooms to sleep. This drives us mad, (some of the time) as we get NO time to ourselves anymore. In particular, the 15 year old takes up so much space - it's like having a very loungey adult in the room, wearing a onesie.

They have a 'den' upstairs with TV, dvd player, Wii and XBox - but that only ever gets used if their friends are here and half the time, if friends are here - they choose to lounge around downstairs with us too

If we watch TV, we are totally restricted to police chase type stuff, Top Gear and 'I am hugely fat' type documentaries or QI, bloody QI.

If I am honest, I would hate them to be like I was at that age - ie in my bedroom as much as I could get away with. So we will have to make the most of it.

Flip

1 2