When my teens have their own homes I shall.

[dontcallmemam]

Leave my shoes right by the door so it can't open
Switch the tv on then walk out of the room
Lie on the sofa, remove 1 sock & leave it there
Shout at them from the other end of the house
Sneer at whatever they're cooking
Have major full-on rolling about fights on the floor with DH swearing loudly
Shout 'I'm staaarving, there's nothing decent to eat in this house'
Leave damp towels on the bed/floor/landing

Can't wait!

I will have a bath and make sure I thoroughly soak the bathmat.
I will leave my bags on the sofa.
I will ignore the large shoe rack and leave my size 12s just inside the door for everyone to trip over.
I will take my socks off and stuff them behind a cushion.
I will open a new bottle of milk because the last bit in the old bottle is weird and I cannot use it.
I will have a bath using every drop of hot water but no soap, and I will be sure not to pull the plug out afterwards so the next person in the bathroom has to plunge their arm into a bath of cold water to empty it.

Laughing so much while eating my lunch I have just sprayed hardboiled egg on my computer keyboard !

Cheered me up on a gloomy day.

When I am old and infirm I will also make endless requests. Always by text.

These will always involve my DC heading out on long searches at the most inconvenient times. Pairs of orange tights. Yellow paper. Lab coats. Mouth guards in size small. The more obscure the better.

And the deadline will always be tomorrow.

Or how about making them go the all night supermarket at 10.30 pm as you forgot you had food tech next day.

Everything, absolutely everything in your OP happens at my house, am chuckling into my mushroom risotto soup in pret a manger looking like a madwoman

Also moan that there is never any food in the house, only ingredients

I will wait until 6pm to ask you for a full size bear suit required for the school play the following morning I kid you not

Moan that we always run out of bread, but never ever think of going to buy some.

Sorry, just to rant here. My ds once texted me at work when he was at home, that we had run out of toilet roll. He could not believe it when I sent a shirty text back. He thought he was being helpful. Was I supposed to rush out of work and buy some?

wordfactory the dd text me 2 years ago muuuuuuuuum are you going to town today, yes why coooooooos (yes there was that many Os) I need my school show costume tomorrow so if you can pick me up a sticky out skirt that would be great thank you love you lots

Got a text from DS asking for a lift from the bus stop cos its raining and he has no coat. No please or thank you so guess what, I didn't bother going.

(love this thread btw )

What a teenager with no coat?

Move in with them and be messy for 18 years, two of these years I'll be incontinent like they were at first.

And to put it simply, sit around saying I'm hungry before meals and sit around after eating while they do the washing up. Just the thought makes me feel blissful.
But I'll never be able to be as rude as my DS16 who walked past me in the street today and blanked me. And yes, he did see me.

Far more cool to wear a soggy hoody than an actual coat.

No hoody either. Just a blazer over his school shirt. In the middle of winter. A cold day during a very wet winter

Grow mould in a cup and then hide it somewhere in the bedroom.

Throw my dirty clothes on the floor next to the washbin.

Put my dirty cups on top of the dishwasher.

Empty the dishwasher and chip every single fucking plate and cup as I put it away.

Stuff sweet wrappers down the back of the sofa cushions.

Put all the DVDs back in the wrong boxes.

Have a shower and walk around the bathroom dripping wet.

Clean my teeth and leave all the spitty toothpaste on the taps and sink.

Pour a very big drink, have a small sip then leave it on the floor to kick over when I have forgotten about it.

all the above plus:

go up to london with my friends and get drunk and call in tears at 2.49 asking how I can get home

bring my friends home after a party and let them sleep on the sofa cushions on the floor but not provide them with a vomit bucket

put my dirty pulling knickers in the washing for her partner to find and wash (and dry and put away) for me

suddenly be really really lovely so she feels bad about being angry

Oh and sit around stinking, but yet mysteriously use all the hot water, shower gel and shampoo. Spill my vape oil every fucking where leaving the lounge stinking of watermelon. Not throw away the dope bags and leave them in my jeans pocket to clog the washing machine.

I will ring them up asking what is for tea then moan that I don't like it.
I will use your car and catch the front of it on the lamp post.
I will leave raw chicken under my bed for about 4months.

And irritate them by taking pulling all kind of silly duck faces while taking selfies.

I will take off my socks and pants and throw them on the floor next to the washing bin, leave my dirty cereal bowls and empty bottles and sweet wrappers on the windowsill in the hall.
Screw up my carefully ironed trousers and blazer into my school bag and leave them there until the morning.
Take everything out of my bag and leave it all out on the kitchen work tops.
Chuck my wet towel on the floor in the bathroom and hope it crawls back onto the radiator to dry.
Leave my size 10's at the bottom of the stairs hoping someone might break their neck.

I read this thread out whilst we were sat around the dinner table and we were all laughing out loud

Dd then said ' just why are you posting all this about me mum ?'

I will

Eat drinking chocolate powder straight out the tin
forget my key, use the secret key and not put it back
leave earrings on the floor to get walked on and bent and therefore ruined
splatter mascara up the wall
leave skid marks in the loo
leave wet towels on the bedroom floor
hide cups in bedroom
not put clean clothes away
mix clean and dirty clothes on the floor
create general chaos
shout a lot very loudly

I will insist on having at least 5 pairs of £40 trainers that currently fit me and I barely use but each has own special purpose so I can't live without them.

I'll conveniently forget my coat at home, having scrounged a lift into town, then text later on to ask for a lift back as its cold and I don't have my coat.

If I do wear a coat I'll hang it up not by its hook but by the flimsy rain hood.

I'll text you from my bedroom to let you know my younger sisters are annoying, can you come and get them? I'd have heard some of the shouting beforehand.

I'll tell you friends are coming over 5 min before they're due.

Tidying up my bedroom, if I must, as let's face it what's is it to you, will involve kicking clothes in a corner to minimise effort involved in bending, scooping them up and dumping in the washing basket. Keys in pockets and all. I have a suspicion yoghurt corners, if they need throwing away, can be out in the rubbish as are, teaspoons and all.