When my teens have their own homes I shall.

[dontcallmemam]

Leave my shoes right by the door so it can't open
Switch the tv on then walk out of the room
Lie on the sofa, remove 1 sock & leave it there
Shout at them from the other end of the house
Sneer at whatever they're cooking
Have major full-on rolling about fights on the floor with DH swearing loudly
Shout 'I'm staaarving, there's nothing decent to eat in this house'
Leave damp towels on the bed/floor/landing

Can't wait!

[Hassled]

I'm going to eat French Set yogurts all day long and leave the empty pots in every room, with the teaspoon balanced across the top of the pot. I'll keep doing it until there are no more teaspoons.

[MissScatterbrain]

Dump clumps of hair all over the place when cleaning hairbrushes.

Leave school bags by the front door preventing it from opening or at the bottom of the stairs for people to trip over.

Sprinkle hairclips and bands all over the place.

Leave key in or front door bolted and then not bother to answer when someone tries to get in.

[MadIsTheNewNormal]

Invite all my friends in while they are watching a movie in their pyjamas, and proceed to offer my friends all the beers from their fridge.

Take their hairbrush and not return it.

Set my alarm on my phone to go off at 6am every day and sleep right through the whole thing EVERY FUCKING DAY so that they have to come into the room where I am sleeping and turn it off for me.

[dontcallmemam]

Not answer the home phone "it won't be for me".

Nothing will my fault, ever.

[Hassled]

And I will make damn sure I never, ever pass on a message. They can get as many important phone calls as they like, but they will never hear about it from me.

[MadIsTheNewNormal]

Oh and if they go away over night and leave me in charge I will completely forget to feed the dogs.

[singaporefling]

I will 'borrow' DD's facial depilatory cream on a regular basis and use it all up and have a silky smoooth chin whilst she wanders round with a bristly tache and laydeee beard , i'll get my hair cut in the kitchen and rush out to meet my friends leaving the floor covered in hair, i'll leave all the house unlocked/lights on when I come to bed at night as well as making sure I leave the oven on the whoooole night too when i've made a pizza... I'll do mahoooosive poohs in the downstairs loo (can't be helped obvs) and ensure ALL the windows remain shut creating noxious fumes that kill the houseplants

[Custardo]

I will use DDs Porche esq ver expensive eyebrow pluckers then i will forget where i left them. Then i will heave her to go to work looking like wolf woman from wolf land

[stillenacht]

Be about 80 years old the way its going with prospects for teens today with future home ownership..

[ivykaty44]

for a house warming present when my dd gets a new home, I am fgoing to

take her some damp towels with nail varnish blobs - to leave on the bathroom floor and bedroom floor

half a dozen cans of call half empty - to leave in her bedroom

a bag of sugar - to leave a sugar trial from the kitchen to the lounge

some coffee cups for the bathroom bedroom and lounge

and a mass of milk bottle tops to put down on the floor around the bin

that way she will feel right at home so quickly [smile

[HorsePetal]

This thread is funny and sad at the same time.

I'll miss mine when they've gone

[ivykaty44]

I actually spend more quality time with my dd1 now than before, which is lovely. Dd2 I still have lots of time with but ATM I know she thinks I am a pita

[mrsjay]

go round take my coat bag shoes off and just leave them up the hall with maybe a random shoe in the livingroom,
will go on about whats for dinner and URGh and roll my eyes furiously.

I will use their shower untill it is like a sauna then stay in some more and I will not open a window leave all the towels behind me, maybe leave it with the random livingroom shoe, might even dye my hair and leave it stuck to their sink toilet washhand basin FLOOR,

i will stay over night get up at 2pm and say what we doing today what we doing today GAWD I AM SOOOOOOOO BORED,

[springlamb]

Well I intend to buy a comfy little camper van and spend 6 months of each year on DS's drive plugged into his lecky and water.
Then I shall wave farewell and go to DD's garden for the other 6 months.
My pension fund is much depleted by bringing them up. Something's gotta give.

[wordfactory]

I plan to text them in advance of every visit saying nothing more than 'What's for tea.'

Then when I arrive I will point out I fancied something entirely different and head for the fridge.

After I've eaten whatever they've made for me I will declare myself 'still starving'.

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

I am going to use every single cup, mug and glass in their house, take them upstairs and then stand there arguing for 17 minutes (yes I timed him) that I didn't ever take any stuff upstairs and why are they always blaming me.

I will use all of the teaspoons and lose them somewhere

Put 1 item of clothing into the washing machine on a 2.5 hour wash even though the basket is overflowing with dirty clothes.

Take 45 minutes showers and use half a bottle of Lynx so the next person in the bathroom is left choking for 10 minutes.

Put clean clothes in the laundry basket but leave dirty clothes under the bed and then run about screeching that I have nothing to wear.

[Helpyourself]

It's all about the floors.
I will leave the bathroom floor wet, the kitchen floor crunchy, the living room an obstacle course and the bedroom floor a health hazard.

[mrsjay]

@crucnhy kitchen floor

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

Oh and I will also say every 4 minutes "oh my god when is dinner I am starving"
Then 10 minutes after eating dinner I will be starving again and eat a bowl of cereal, use all of the milk except a quarter inch but not tell anyone.

I will ring them at 10pm and beg for a lift because something has gone wrong. Then, just as they have got dressed and got in the car to pick me up I will text and say, don't worry about it. I won't bother to apologise or anything though.

I will take DDs very fucking expensive hair straightners, and forget to return them. I will leave them on the floor, step on them and break them and then hide them back in her room.

I will only ever wear a dressing gown. Unless I am asked to go to the shop that is 5 minutes away. Then I will spend 40 minutes deciding what to wear to go to the shop, in case someone sees me. Never mind that they are in the middle of cooking dinner and need a vital ingredient quickly.

And I will take up football. And leave muddy kit and boots everywhere, hoping the fairies will clean it. And then run around the house screeching "but what am I going to doooooo?" 10 minutes before Saturday training.

[mrsjay]

I have a 21 yr old i fear I will leave home before her she really isnt for budging

[Dededum]

Have 2 pre-teen boys at the moment. It is very calm, good to know its the calm before the storm...

[Jynxed]

I shall shower twice a day (because the first shower wasn't long enough because I finished up an entire tank of water before I even washed my hair). I shall ensure that I keep my hair very long, and combine the sheddings with a potent mixture of face mask and contact lenses in order to guarantee that I block every sink, bath or shower that I use. I shall announce the resulting mess disgusting and wait for the staff to clean it up. Every now and then I will allow the shower to block spectacularly but continue to use it until the water floods the room, drips through the ceiling of the room below and floods the landing when I finally respond to frantic banging and open the bathroom door. And I shall make a point of announcing loudly "it's not my fault!!

[sweetfluffybunnies]

I am going to grow my hair very long and then when I shower I will run my fingers through it to remove any loose hairs and stick them to the shower door.

And then I will shave my arm pits over the bathroom sink so that all the hairs stick to the sink.

And then I am going to take the towel up to my bedroom and leave it on the floor, in the piles of dust I have carefully cultivated.

[Bonsoir]

Spend hours sitting in the loo post poo without flushing so that the odours have lots of time to evaporate and stink it out. Not open the window when I leave but leave the door wide open so the the odours permeate the hall. Grrrr.

[Orangeanddemons]

I will only drink Tropicana and demand pot noodles
I will leave dirty plates in my bedroom, then when told to clean up, will conceal said plates in an empty takeaway pizza box, taking great care to ram them on top of discarded pizza crusts. I will then conceal this object d'art under my bed for 4 months and not tell anyone.
I will steal my little sisters Maomi sweets
I will refuse to wear cheap clothes and only want expensive branded stuff
1 will grow 3 inches every month, thus depriving my parents of any disposable income re point above