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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DD refuses to share her room anymore

46 replies

dearlordwhathaveidonenow · 17/08/2013 15:43

DD1 and DD2 have shared forever, with DD3 and DS having their own rooms. DD1 has now decided after a lengthy five minute spat with her sister that she never wants to sleep in the same room as her again, and is demanding she gets DD3's room, who will move in with DD2 in her place, and until this aim has been acheived she is apparently going to sleep on the landing in her sleeping bag Grin. DD2 refuses point blank to share with DD3 (who obvs isn't going to move out of her room anyway) and has declared their room now solely hers and will not let DD2 move back from her landing. DH of course, finds it all hilarious, but I have no clue on how to get them to co-operate and just stay put for heaven's sake

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 17/08/2013 15:44

You ignore it you daft bat and say something non committal like 'if you still feel like that in a week we will discuss it'

You don't respond to all the mad things they say do you? Treat this as the same.

MrsCakesPremonition · 17/08/2013 15:48

Ignore the fighting and let DD1 sleep on the landing. It won't last long.

Trills · 17/08/2013 16:00

Obviously this isn't the right way to approach it, but have you discussed with all 3 of your DDs why the situation is as it is?

Presumably at the very beginning DD3 was a baby/toddler and DDs 1 or 2 would have been woken at night if ether of them shared with her, so it made sense for them to share with each other.

Original poster
dearlordwhathaveidonenow · 17/08/2013 16:16

Trills- We moved just over eight years ago to upsize for DS's arrival, and girls decided DD1 & 2 would share again with DD3 by herself, they brought it on themselves but yes, it started out under that reasoning Wink Going to let them sit stony faced upstairs in favour of starting tea early have a nice glass of wine

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 17/08/2013 16:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YoniBottsBumgina · 17/08/2013 16:24

I used to long for my own room when I was a teenager and had to share with my sister who was soooooo annoying and didn't understand ANYTHING AT ALL. I considered moving into the cupboard under the stairs just to have my own room! Blush

I think this would be an excellent opportunity to let them battle to the death work it out for themselves. Maybe the youngest 2 could share now? By the time they get old enough to not want to share DD1 might have moved out solving the problem!

ImNotBloody14 · 17/08/2013 16:30

DD1 has been shortsighted about this. what she should have done was throw DD2's stuff onto the landing with a sleeping bag and barricade herself in her room thereby having her own bed and now her own room. the situation she has created means she has neither. rookie mistake Grin

Eyesunderarock · 17/08/2013 16:34

How old are they all?

ilovebooks1470 · 17/08/2013 16:36

Grin at Imnotbloody14. These amateurs...

Agreed at just let them sort it out themselves (tbh I'm rooting for DD1)

Original poster
dearlordwhathaveidonenow · 17/08/2013 16:43

eyesunderarock- DD1 is 14, DD2 is 12 and DD3 is 9 if only she could stay that age

OP posts:
Eyesunderarock · 17/08/2013 16:46

Grin Oh lordy, I was a nightmare from 13-18 and fought on a regular basis with my sister. And yes, we shared a room when not at boarding school.
How about a couple of tents in the garden?

MumsKnitter · 17/08/2013 16:54

I used to get this regularly with DD1 and DD2. They have a four year age gap, and when DD1 was about 10 and DD2 around 6, DD2 (!) used to move all DD1's stuff into the bathroom, and declare the bedroom as hers alone. I used to leave it a while then make her move it all back in. They share ok on holidays now, and in fact DD2 offered to share with DS3 (20 months) on our last holiday, despite the inevitable early mornings that resulted, and her now being a teenager!

Original poster
dearlordwhathaveidonenow · 17/08/2013 16:56

No tents Sad It's apparently a mortal crime not to own a specific pair of hair straighteners or me to be seen dropping her off at school now Hmm

OP posts:
MumsKnitter · 17/08/2013 17:02

Ah yes. They MUST be GHD, and you should drop her off nearby, where no one will see. Been there. Never understood that, and never felt embarrassed at being with my mum not that I can recall her ever bothering to drop me off anyway.

ilovebooks1470 · 17/08/2013 17:04

don't worry about that Wink as long as they're fed, watered and not too gobby it'll be alright IME.

Floralnomad · 17/08/2013 17:05

In all seriousness could you not separate the room they share so they have their own space or this could be ongoing for years !

buttermellow · 17/08/2013 17:06

I shared a room with Dsis at that age, had done from age 2 right up until age 20. At age 14 I started to hate it as she'd go to bed at 8.30, so I wasn't allowed in my room from 8.30 onwards..

At age 18 I decided I utterly despised the idea, I moved out during the week for uni and at weekends I slept on the sofa-bed in the dining room.. It suited me fine, I could watch Sky TV until 1am and all sorts! It was cosy too, and like a double bed!

But then my sister's autistic so it was a nightmare - she would decide how my stuff was arranged, she would help herself to my things and broke several ornaments, scratched the eyes out of a poster, coated a beautiful jewellery box in nail varnish, chucked stuff in the bucket, shouted at me for snoring or moving, bitter?me?! Grin

Ironically, the night we were transferred to a 3 bed house (council) she cried that she was frightened without me!!

Original poster
dearlordwhathaveidonenow · 17/08/2013 17:08

MumsKnitter- and I thought it was only my DD that 'needed' the GHD ones Grin when she has perfectly straight hair already Hmm

OP posts:
fiverabbits · 17/08/2013 17:10

Tell your DD that I at 61 years old have never had a BED TO MYSELF never mind a bedroom. I had three sisters and we had two double beds
and I always had to sleep with the same sister as none of the others would sleep with her. When I had the measles my mother said I should sleep in my only brothers bed and he would sleep with my father and my mother would sleep with my sister. After two hours she went downstairs and slept on a 2 seater settee, the next night I was back in bed with my sister. I left home to get married before my sister so never even had a bed to myself at 20 years old.

QOD · 17/08/2013 17:20

I would actually be inclined to give dd1 her own room ...

MumsKnitter · 17/08/2013 17:26

Not at all. Only GHD will do for all teenagers! I have finally caved and bought mine some for her birthday. The two previous cheapo ones she's had really genuinely weren't as good. Annoying for you though, if hair is already straight!

Original poster
dearlordwhathaveidonenow · 17/08/2013 17:33

The lot of them have spent the past hour fiddling around with various sheets and belongings in and around the landing to DS's amusement before they got dragged off for tea. Ironically all this fiddling and sorting out new living arrangements with each other has stopped them shouting for now Grin

OP posts:
SilverApples · 17/08/2013 17:34

How about DD2 and 3 share, and DD1 gets her own room?

Bonsoir · 17/08/2013 17:39

With four DC and three bedrooms, I would have thought that it was only reasonable and fair for the oldest child to have a room to him/herself once he/she hits the teen years.

LazyMonkeyButler · 17/08/2013 17:41

I do actually understand why DD1 might want her own room, when DD3 and DS have theirs and are younger.

However, without a 5th bedroom you are a bit stuck!