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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

would you let you 13 camp

60 replies

Orchidlady · 17/07/2013 09:45

DS 13 has got into his head that he would like arrange a camp out in a field, think rural field if farmer agrees. I don't think he is old enough, I also do not know any of the people he wants to invite and not sure other parents would be too happy about this. Am I being over protective?

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Original poster
Orchidlady · 17/07/2013 10:01

Sorry should read Would you let your DS 13 camp out

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Sparklingbrook · 17/07/2013 10:03

Umm. I think I would. DS1 is just 14 and I would let him. What is your main concern?

Original poster
Orchidlady · 17/07/2013 10:13

I trust my DS I think but worry about peer pressure I suppose. You know alcohol, staring a fire and burning the field down, drugs. Older kids turning, I don't know . As said also part of the problem is I do not know any of these kids.

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dexter73 · 17/07/2013 10:14

I don't think I would. A group of 13 year olds in a field in the middle of nowhere unsupervised would make me shiver.

dexter73 · 17/07/2013 10:15

You also don't know if older kids will get to hear about the 'party' and turn up.

MaryRose · 17/07/2013 10:15

I'd be a bit cautious if I didn't know the kids he was camping with tbh. I've seen a few pictures of my DD's friends on facebook camping out with bottles of vodka etc aged 13

Sparklingbrook · 17/07/2013 10:46

Mmmmm. I suppose it depends on so many things. How far away is the field?
It's so hard at this age because you would quite like a chat with the other parents, but you don't even know the children let alone their parents.

It's a shame because they may well have a really great time and it all be fine but totally understand your concerns.

Original poster
Orchidlady · 17/07/2013 11:03

I know, I am in 2 minds, part of me wants me to allow some freedom the other panicking, so wanted to get some different views. The field would be 5 minutes from our house. Spoke to one parent last night and she was not happy ( he had told her was camping in our garden) I have suggested this to DP as we do have a big garden but seems to think this is a stupid idea. Not getting much support from him.

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Original poster
Orchidlady · 17/07/2013 12:07

It gets worse, he is on fb boasting about taking drugs, drinking. Not sure if this is all bravado and showing off. God don't you just love teenagers, been thought all this before, never gets easier.

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Sparklingbrook · 17/07/2013 12:10

Oh no. Sad I am doing the teenage thing for the first time with DS1 and he is at the 'rules and regulations' and TBH a bit afraid of drugs. drinking and all the rest stage.l However DS2 is a completely different character.

NotGoodNotBad · 17/07/2013 12:13

No way, after your last two posts. Doesn't sound like you can trust him an inch! Whether it's bravado or not, I'd knock it on the head. And it's your son who's told the other parent the camp will be in your garden? A second "no way" then!

Original poster
Orchidlady · 17/07/2013 12:20

I thought DS was bit afraid of drugs, I have always been open with him and allow the odd glass of cider. The night he was boasting in FB he had had 1/2 glass of cider with the BBQ but claiming to be on his 5th pint, ok then, I was there so know exactly what was consumed. Also claiming to get a "10 bag" I know how dope effects people and have never suspected he would be taking anything. Normally he is lovely, last night he had a major melt down and stormed off. Did come back sheepish and very apologetic

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chocoluvva · 17/07/2013 12:29

I don't think I'd trust them enough, I'm afraid. I'd encourage camping in the garden too. Sounds like he's using the camping idea as a means to take advantage of being unsupervised. I feel mean typing this, but I'd worry that he's planning to procure alcohol.

I'd try -easy to say - to ask him airily and in an interested way what he finds appealing about his camping plan. You could possibly negotiate - if he camped in the garden he could have a bottle of (low alcohol) cider/have a disposable barbecue/whatever.

valiumredhead · 17/07/2013 12:35

Yes but only if out was local and with kids I knew well and also trusted.

Original poster
Orchidlady · 17/07/2013 12:35

Choco I am pretty sure they were planning alcohol, I am not shocked because knew what I was up to at that age. I like the idea of camping in the garden with a few mates for now. But DP think this is a stupid idea.

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throckenholt · 17/07/2013 12:36

I would go with the test run in the garden first - if they aren't used to camping then that is a much preferable approach.

If they won't agree to that, then I wouldn't trust them on their own in a field !

noddyholder · 17/07/2013 12:38

Teenage boys tell tall tales

Original poster
Orchidlady · 17/07/2013 12:38

Yes valium my point exactly, I do not know any of these kids. When DS1 did this I know his mates and they were 15 I think. 13 seems too young, he also thinks girls are able to come, I really could not imagine a mother allowing a 13 girl to camp with a bunch of boys.

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Original poster
Orchidlady · 17/07/2013 12:48

Grin noddy I know. I feel mean reading his FB stuff but glad I did. His own cousin of offering to get him some "gear" when he nexts sees him. Don't suppose DP sister would be too pleased to hear about that.

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noddyholder · 17/07/2013 12:52

I have read some corkers in my time Grin. I have let ds camp at that age and even in the garden they were idiots but it did no real harm and is a memory after all. Most damage done was they lit some leaves and made next doors washing smell

dexter73 · 17/07/2013 12:52

My nephew was smoking weed regularly at 13. God knows where he got the money from but he seemed to manage it.

Original poster
Orchidlady · 17/07/2013 12:55

I am trying to maintain a sense of humour. I am trying analyse why this is worrying me, Drug and drink and fire I think. Especially with this dry weather.

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chocoluvva · 17/07/2013 12:56

"DP thinks this is a stupid idea" - that's a shame.

Did you mean DS?

Obviously, it wouldn't be 'camping', but nothing wrong with telling your other mates you're sleeping outside in the garden? Too tame? Loss of face after promising a cool camping experience in the field?

What about sleeping out in the garden without a tent?! [desperate face]

Arcticwaffle · 17/07/2013 13:00

It sounds dodgy, especially from his FB posts. I would let my 13yo dd camp out with friends in a field or a garden, but it depends on the friends. Also she's pretty sensible herself, she wouldn't be initiating anything stupid.

I'd offer to go and camp at the other end of the field a bit separate to keep an eye on things, I know that's not cool but it would be my offer. My children's 13yo friends aren't usually allowed this much freedom so I'd be a bit surprised if all the parents were keen. We're some of the more relaxed parents about supervision and what we let our dc do, and I wouldn't agree to this.

Original poster
Orchidlady · 17/07/2013 13:04

No I meant DP, he is being useless and getting right on my nerves but another thread altogether. I think he can use the excuse that the farmer will not give permission as a way of saving face. tbh judging on replies in here not sure many parents would be comfortable with this, even worse for them as 10 miles away from home . Hoping to to get DS to see sense without another major meltdown.

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