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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Is 10:15pm too late for a 16yo to walk home alone?

92 replies

hellohellohihi · 27/05/2013 19:20

DN has just got her first p/t job - waitressing in a pub. Last night was her first shift and she walked home at 10:15pm on her own. It's about 15 mins along a busy road and through the high st.

MIL very unimpressed.

I can't work out if it's an issue or not. She's 16 and a half, just finishing gcses.

If its not on, at what age would it be acceptable?

Ps. My dd is a toddler still so no idea what's right for teenagers and I was quite mischievous so prob shouldn't go by my own experiences

OP posts:
seeker · 27/05/2013 19:22

Depends on the area, not the age. I would be fine with what your dd did.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 27/05/2013 19:25

It depends on so many things - what is the area like? Could either of her parents (or your MIL??) pick her up? Has she been walking around that area for a few years already?

...but mostly - how does she feel about it?

mylovelymonster · 27/05/2013 19:25

I'm sure she is old enough to do so, but depends on the area to if it's wise or not. I wouldn't want to walk along a busy road in the dark by myself, regardless, so I wouldn't expect my daughter to do the same.

SirChenjin · 27/05/2013 19:30

Depends on the area and depends how she feels.

Theas18 · 27/05/2013 19:32

dunno... agree not age but area. I wouldn't let ds because he's a peaceful giant who seems to attract trouble. ( he's 17)

just got this with dd1 in the summer- she will be 20 and wants to use the night bus home in the summer after work...tbh I probably wouldn't, nit because outta unsafe but UN savoury certainly. but neck she's 20 andbeen at uni she should be fine... but I'll worry ( we will be away, a taxi would cost most of her wages! )

Original poster
hellohellohihi · 27/05/2013 19:38

It's a "normal" town so not rough IMO (home counties, predominantly middle class). The road is residential, leads out of town and to the station.

Her mum is a single mum with younger kids at home so no chance of a lift. Not sure MIL would want to commit to that as sometimes works weekends herself.

MIL is paranoid a worrier by nature, and is concerned one of the customers from the pub could follow DN home...... But I said that could happen at any age surely, and at what age would MIL feel is acceptable?

My own personal view is that this should've been considered before she took the job (ie location/hours).

OP posts:
ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 27/05/2013 19:49

How confident is she?

Would she go on a self defence course to build a bit of confidence?

My own personal view is that this should've been considered before she took the job (ie location/hours)

What is there to suggest it wasn't - this is your MIL voicing her opinion, that's all.

Original poster
hellohellohihi · 27/05/2013 20:02

No, that's my personal view. I do think it's a bit short sighted that this wasn't thought through. Agree it's not helpful to state that and FWIW MIL is v "proud" that DN has gone and got the job.

OP posts:
ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 27/05/2013 20:04

But what makes you think it wasn't 'thought through' by your DN and her Mum??

Areyoumadorisitme · 27/05/2013 20:21

Well I wouldn't do it even though I live in a nice place. I don't think age is that relevant as she's clearly not a young child.

Can she cycle so that she gets home quicker and is less vulnerable?

hellonewworld · 27/05/2013 20:24

I think it depends on the route she is taking, if at any point it is dark or unlit then no. Could you meet her half way?

NotSoNervous · 27/05/2013 20:25

Others have said it depends on the area that she's walking in, if its main roads or back country roads. If its a good area and main roads and now then I think it's fine because the nights are so light aswell but in the winter I wouldn't fancy it

hellonewworld · 27/05/2013 20:26

Sorry just realised she is not your dd. Could her mum meet her halfway or stay on the phone whilst she is walking?

sparkle12mar08 · 27/05/2013 20:35

I was underage clubbing and coming home at 2am on the weekends at that age. If the girl and her parents are happy with it then MIL can butt out, frankly.

MuchBrighterNow · 28/05/2013 17:55

Why doesn't she ride a bike, much quicker and less vulnerable.

SgtTJCalhoun · 28/05/2013 17:57

I wouldn't feel happy with my 16 YO doing that. I'd pick them up.

flow4 · 28/05/2013 23:26

Does your DN live with you? Or are you thinking you'd like to offer to pick her up? If not either of these, then why are you getting involved?

Original poster
hellohellohihi · 29/05/2013 14:49

Home is up a very steep hill so not sure she'd be up for the ride.

flow - I'm not "getting involved", I was just wondering what is appropriate for teenagers these days. MIL mentioned it and I couldn't work out if I thought it was acceptable or not do thought I'd ask on her. That ok with you??

OP posts:
flow4 · 29/05/2013 21:40

Why would you need to seek my approval?! Grin But you asked for opinions, and mine is that if you aren't directly involved, and can't help, you are much better off reserving judgement. :) As Chipping points out, you have no idea what might have been discussed by your DN and her mum..
If MIL is already "very unimpressed", you could perhaps usefully point out to her that she should keep those opinions to herself!

fortifiedwithtea · 30/05/2013 09:28

If it was our family DH would be driving DD1 home. We live in a very save area but that cuts no ice with me.

DD1 is currently 14 and I insisted her boyfriend walked her home from his home at 10.00pm. She was all 'I'll be fine and what's going to happen to me'. Teens don't see danger.

livinginwonderland · 30/05/2013 11:29

I walked home alone from town at that age at 10-11pm with no problems - same as you, busy road, well-lit, not a dangerous area. If the weather was bad my dad would pick me up, and if it was after 11pm, I would get picked up too, but generally it wasn't a problem.

Bonsoir · 30/05/2013 11:32

Probably not OK.

Bonsoir · 30/05/2013 11:35

OTOH I wouldn't be OK with my DD doing bar work in the evenings aged 16.

GoblinGranny · 30/05/2013 11:40

Depends on the area.
My DD used to walk a lot at night when she was 16, up to four or five miles.
Nothing ever happened to her.

seeker · 30/05/2013 11:40

Why on earth not? Surely it would depend on the bar and the work?

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