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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Is 10:15pm too late for a 16yo to walk home alone?

92 replies

hellohellohihi · 27/05/2013 19:20

DN has just got her first p/t job - waitressing in a pub. Last night was her first shift and she walked home at 10:15pm on her own. It's about 15 mins along a busy road and through the high st.

MIL very unimpressed.

I can't work out if it's an issue or not. She's 16 and a half, just finishing gcses.

If its not on, at what age would it be acceptable?

Ps. My dd is a toddler still so no idea what's right for teenagers and I was quite mischievous so prob shouldn't go by my own experiences

OP posts:

Bonsoir · 30/05/2013 17:59

Gosh you are tender, seeker. No wonder you struggle so much with the realities of life and the competition it entails. I don't want my DD (or my DSSs) working in a bar in the evenings because I want her (a) to study at school, first and foremost (b) to do things outside school that are going to further her prospects in life.

OlyRoller · 30/05/2013 18:12

Bonsoir - working in a bar may actually further her prospects in life.

Anyway, I think 16 is old enough to walk home at 10:15.

GoblinGranny · 30/05/2013 18:14

I used to be a short-order cook when I was a student.
I remember joining in on a conversation about Gaius Suetonius Paulinus' campaign in 61, because the pompous arses were wrong about Tacitus.
They were as shocked as if the salami had piped up.
I felt that the job, along with others, helped me a lot in my ability to detect bullshit when I heard it and not to judge on appearances.
I also like orchestras.

Bonsoir · 30/05/2013 18:31

I'd rather my children worked in shops or banks or as junior counsellors in summer camps. And I have particularly strong feelings about girls working in bars. Please - don't do this to your daughters. How demeaning.

VerySmallSqueak · 30/05/2013 18:34

Why do you say it's demeaning,Bonsoir?

Bonsoir · 30/05/2013 18:35

Young girls are employed in bars because they attract male customers.

ihearsounds · 30/05/2013 18:36

How would having a parttime evening job, along side studying hinder further prospects. Wouldn't a job be a good thing on a CV? Plus all the other skills that she will get out of it, and also a reference.

Plus maybe this person wants to get into catering/hospitality etc and the experience will be even more helpful.

Bonsoir · 30/05/2013 18:39

My DC study in the evenings... Holiday work is fine, but I wouldn't be happy about a 16 year old (boy or girl) working evenings unless it were babysitting. They are young - they need to aspire to more than shift work.

perplexedpirate · 30/05/2013 18:40

Working in a bar is 'demeaning'?! I've heard it ALL now!
When I was -having a riot working behind a bar- being demeaned I used to walk home/to the next venue on my own late on. I was fine, no problems. I would be fine letting any DDs I had do it, area permitting.

GoblinGranny · 30/05/2013 18:41

I was there to attract male customers?
I thought I was there because I was a good cook, capable of producing tasty food at speed.
Cor, you live and learn.
Or perhaps you are accustomed to a different sort of bar, Bonsoir.

Bonsoir · 30/05/2013 18:42

My DP used to work in the catering industry (running chains). He has very strong feelings about just how demeaning and horrible it is for young girls in that industry. He knows - he had to deal with the fall out.

ihearsounds · 30/05/2013 18:42

Yea because once you start with shift work, that is what you will spend the rest of your life doing.

Bonsoir · 30/05/2013 18:44

In fact - he still arranges short-term jobs in catering jobs for teenage daughters of friends who are playing up at school. It's a short sharp shock to wake them up to reality. Works every time!

GoblinGranny · 30/05/2013 18:45

I don't think that we are discussing careers here, just a first, temporary job.
So your OH works in a very sexist industry? I hope he's trying to change the focus on exploiting women for their visual contributions.

ihearsounds · 30/05/2013 18:45

Just because it was the case in that particular chain doesn't mean the entire industry is like that.

Mrsrobertduvall · 30/05/2013 18:47

Good grief.
I packed Mars Bars in a factory when I was 16 in the summer holidays.....and then in the evenings in a smoky working men's club.

However I have survived.

ihearsounds · 30/05/2013 18:47

So he is also calling in favours thus denying a more suitable person from gaining employment, to teach teens a valuable life lesson? Nice.

perplexedpirate · 30/05/2013 18:48

So girls can't work in catering because of the menz being nasty?
I don't even know where to start with that, Bonsoir.
Last I checked, bars and restaurants were subject to the same equalities legislation as every other workplace. I had the odd issue with the occasional lech but no more than, say, on a night out, and I could very easily put them in their place.
If your DP witnessed anything more serious than this I assume he reported it to the relevant authority so it was dealt with effectively?

GoblinGranny · 30/05/2013 18:51

'Good grief.
I packed Mars Bars in a factory when I was 16 in the summer holidays.....and then in the evenings in a smoky working men's club.

However I have survived.'

It's probably because you aren't a delicate hothouse blossom who needs shielding and guiding and lots and lots of extra studying.
You and I are probably a bit common, I studied and worked at a range of different jobs, as did both of my siblings.
We all ended up as well-paid professionals despite our disadvantages.

BackforGood · 30/05/2013 18:53

Blimey Bonsoir - you are being sour today!
First you are really rude to Seeker, then you come back and are rude to her once more.
Fair enough if you are going to restrict your dcs experience of holding down a job, but that doesn't mean it's not going to further other peoples prospects.
You then get onto the ridiculous with 'demeaning'. How, in any possible way, is it demeaning to do an honest days work? You really do live on another planet.
Young girls, young lads, older ladies and gents are all employed - in the sort of family pubs I go into at least - I don't know what kind of joint you are frequenting (?) - to take customers orders, then serve them with their food and drinks, and then take them their bills. I see nothing demeaning in that, and would be very happy for any of my dc to do that to earn themselves some money whilst working their way through 6th form, college or University. You really are a terrible snob.

sparkle12mar08 · 30/05/2013 18:55

Presumably I break your mould then Bonsoir - I worked bar jobs and pub kitchens as a teen for many years. I also have two degrees and worked as a professional economic advisor in central government for well in excess of £50k a year...

BackforGood · 30/05/2013 18:55

Sorry OP - gone off a bit from your original question but I couldn't let Bonsoir's rudeness go un-replied to.

RatRatRat · 30/05/2013 18:57

I worked in a restaurant until 12/1am at that age and walked a lot further home along dark country roads and it definitely didn't bother me, what with being 16 and invincible.

Would I be thrilled at the prospect of either of my sons doing it at that age? Probably not, no.

Mrsrobertduvall · 30/05/2013 19:08

goblingranny
Well I am from Leeds originally
hard as nails and common as muck.

I have dragged myself out of the gutter, got a degree and am very middle class as I shop in Waitrose.

Original poster

hellohellohihi · 30/05/2013 19:08

Hi, OP here.

DN is working as a waitress in the restaurant part of a pub. Not "in the bar".

I agree that getting a busy / late job in the midst of gcses and think that there are probably other jobs without this kind of consideration but not my business.

And yes, I wince at the horror I was at the same age. And I'm also aware that 17 years ago is a long time and things have moved on since then so was more a question about the principal of the matter!

OP posts:

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