Is 10:15pm too late for a 16yo to walk home alone?

[hellohellohihi]

DN has just got her first p/t job - waitressing in a pub. Last night was her first shift and she walked home at 10:15pm on her own. It's about 15 mins along a busy road and through the high st.

MIL very unimpressed.

I can't work out if it's an issue or not. She's 16 and a half, just finishing gcses.

If its not on, at what age would it be acceptable?

Ps. My dd is a toddler still so no idea what's right for teenagers and I was quite mischievous so prob shouldn't go by my own experiences

If it's on a busy road and she texts her mum to say when she's leaving I wouldn't have a problem with it...

Well, I've heard it all now. Waitressing is "demeaning"- and if you don't agree, your "parenting value are all over the place". -And you can't simultaneously be pleased that your child plays in an orchestra and allow them to work in a bar.

I suppose Bonsoir must be imagining a back street bar in the Pigalle, rather than a wine bar in an English market town.......

The orchestra thing was aimed specifically at me- my ds goes to a school which doesn't have one, which makes me sad. This makes people very cross indeed.

Bonsoir, you are being ridiculous. I feel very, very lucky that I earn about enough to mean that my dds don't have to get a job in the evenings or at weekends. If they did, and waitressing in a bar was all that was available, I might not necessarily like it but I would have to cope with it and fail to see how on earth it would be demeaning to them.

I agree that I'd rather have them at home in the evenings, though would be beyond naive to think that would necessarily mean they are dutifully studying all evening. You are being either deliberately rude and provocative, or astonishingly out of touch with reality.

Goodness. I go out for a couple of hours, and just look what happens!

Remus - it's not about how much you earn though.
If we chose to, we could give our dcs more 'pocket money', but, we realise we are giving them a lot more by teaching them 'value for money' rather than just handing it out.
My ds works in a job that isn't particularly pleasant, but it's convenient (both times, and location), and it means he can earn enough to treat himself to things that aren't necessary for life, but that he chooses to do - for example, this year, he's bought a lot of concert tickets, and treated himself to souvineer T-shirts, etc.. He doesn't have to do the job, but he is learning that 2 weeks work = either 1 concert ticket, or 4 driving lessons, or whatever else it is that he wants to have. He's deciding if it's worth doing something he doesn't really enjoy for a few hours a week, in order to fund something that he really does enjoy.
My dd used to ask for the odd expensive item she wants, but now she's earning a few £ a week and could afford to save for something, she's actually discovered that she doesn't want the things as much as she thought she did, now that it's her hard earned money she's making the decisions about.
I think learning about budgeting is a really important lifeskill.

I agree, Backforgood. We are v careful with our money and teach our dds to be the same - dd1 is v good at finding charity shop bargains to wear and dd2 wears the same old clothes all the time to keep up her Kerrang subscription! They get a (quite small compared to their friends) bit of money each month and learn to budget with that. DD1 had a weekend job but it was really getting in the way of her studies, so she stopped it. If she wasn't working hard for school, my feelings might be different.

Sorry, Hello - some massive hijacking going on here!

Working in bars is a classic part of being a teenager surely?! I certainly did - from 16-19 I worked in pubs and bars (savoury and unsavoury to be frank). Didn't stop me from going to Oxbridge (in fact I remember talking about it at interview) or working in the City ever since. It also taught me a whole lot of stuff about how to look after myself. Anyway, OP, I did this type of walk at this age (along with a night bus on occasion) - but it was certainly a judgement based on the area we lived being quite safe, well lit, relatively busy etc. I live in what many people would term a 'dodgy' area of London now and perversely I would be fine about it, because it is so busy - personally I would be more anxious in a nice quiet suburb where you might see no one on the walk home - so the decision has got to be circumstance-specific.

In my opinion as someone who has recruited young people (into 'serious' jobs) and who sees uni students most days in my job, those who have solid work and life experience pre-uni (from bar work, volunteering in the Oxfam shop, helping at an old people's home or whatever) are the ones who stand out.

(And whether or not it is 'shift work' is entirely irrelevant).

Can I also point out that being married to someone who is incredibly smart with the papers to prove it is of bugger all use if for some reason things get tough and they won't demean themselves to get a job they consider beneath them.
Because they deserve so much more.
With two dependent children, I was prepared to consider almost any job to provide for them, and I had the skill set to do so if necessary.

OP did not ask about the rights and wrongs of bar work, it's about her DN walking home.

And if her parents think it's fine and she is happy, then it is.

End of.

Could she not cycle there and back? When my teenage son was babysitting I was happier knowing he was on his bike (quiet road at night) and he got home quicker.

don't see why the time is relevant - the mad axemen don't have a curfew, not that she is very likely to come across one of those.

What is relevant is that she is wearing shoes suitable for a walk, doesn't have her ears plugged with earphones and isn't gazing at an expensive phone.

and if the road doesn't have a pavement, that she is carrying a torch and wearing something reflective.