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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Would you mind if your teenager smoked weed?

159 replies

SecretSquirrels · 20/06/2012 16:39

DS1 now 16 has recently mentioned several times that he has seen people he knows smoking weed. Not any of his friends but his year group and younger. He is very straight laced and judgy about it but reckons there has been zero drugs education at school and there should be (his opinion as well as mine).

I have seen two threads recently on which many, many posters openly admitted to smoking weed. I don't know whether these are very young parents with young children or whether they have teenagers but I am genuinely shocked.
Am I so out of touch or out of date that this is now normal?

OP posts:
2shoes · 20/06/2012 16:41

tbh not sure. ds doesn't drink or smoke(he says he is crazy another as it is) but I know a lot of his friends do, he is 20, but they have all been doing it for years.
it is addictive and expensive but does seem to be the norm.

AnyoneForTennis · 20/06/2012 16:41

No way! It's illegal and destroys lives.

LeB0F · 20/06/2012 16:42

Yes, I'd mind. Brain-rotting energy sapping stuff that it is. I've just told two kids off for skinning up in the park today- they can't have been more than 13.

AnyoneForTennis · 20/06/2012 16:50

Teenagers need all their brainpower for exams/college etc, this really can ruin lives. Their brains are undergoing big changes at this time too.

mumblechum1 · 20/06/2012 16:53

DS went through a phase of smoking the odd joint (and i do know it was only once a fortnight or so as it;'s very obvious when he has). I wasn't overly concerned, and he's stopped now anyway as he's in the TA and subject to spot checks. He did find it hard to say no when everyone else at parties was smoking but the risk to his future career wasn't worth it.

ThePathanKhansWitch · 20/06/2012 16:54

Yes.Even though I indulged as a young 'un. My younger brother had very bad problems with drugs (thankfully resolved now, lovely man, great partner, father etc), started off with weed.
I remember saying to him at the time, that in and of itself i didn't actually have a strong case against weed.
But he was 14 at the time, and I told him it was the other things, situations, people he would encounter whilst indulging his weed habit.
The dealers, stronger drugs, the criminality of being caught with weed, hanging round at night etc.
Indeed it came to pass and he had a horrendous heroin habit for years.
It nearly broke him. Fuck, it nearly broke our family.
I remember one night my mum standing on the landing with a pillow wanting to go in and suffocate him(he was passed out at the time), and weeping, she just couldn't stand to see her child destroy himselfSad Sad.
I smoked weed when i was a teenager, I never had the curiosity to try anything stronger.
Weed had its place for me, weekends with friends somewhere safe. Perhaps it's all down to personality's?
I would want my child to have all the info: No weed isn't the worst thing in the world
But it can open doors you can't shut.

threeteens · 20/06/2012 16:57

I would mind very much.

That Julie Myerson book, whatever you think of her and her choices, really highlighted how this stuff damages young brains and lives.

Original poster
SecretSquirrels · 20/06/2012 17:05

Glad to hear the whole of MN are not drug takers.
ThePathanKhansWitch it was the other things, situations, people he would encounter whilst indulging his weed habit.The dealers, stronger drugs, the criminality of being caught with weed, hanging round at night etc.

Yes that is always how I have viewed it and that's the line I've taken with the DCs. Reading so many comments from posters who clearly think it's harmless made me wonder.

OP posts:
PedanticPanda · 20/06/2012 17:13

I would be very angry if DS smoked weed, my cousin developed drug induced pychosis from smoking weed as a teen, he can no longer live on his own and my aunt is his full time cater. The evidence for cannabis causing schizophrenia, along with my firsthand experience, is too significant for me to allow DS to.

PedanticPanda · 20/06/2012 17:15

**carer. He's also in and out of the hospital for long periods of time, 6+ months etc, and doctors have said to my aunt that it is related to his cannabis use, he was only 17 when he became ill.

thebestisyettocome · 20/06/2012 17:17

I would mind. I have had friends whose lives have been destroyed by drugs.

GnomeDePlume · 20/06/2012 17:26

Certainly from what DD1 says I dont think it is necessarily normal or that all teens are doing it. DD has said that there is a weed clique and an MCAT clique apparently with little overlap.

If DD(16) is very anti smoking of anything. She is one GP down on the regulation issue as my DF died before she was born because of smoking related cancer and this has helped focus her mind I think.

Original poster
SecretSquirrels · 20/06/2012 17:37

Both my DSs have always been very anti smoking as have all their friends. They have only recently become aware of the weed thing.
The link with psychotic illness is one of the things that scares me most when people trivialise smoking dope.

OP posts:
QuincyMincemeat · 20/06/2012 17:39

I'm looking after many,many young people now with drug induced psychosis.
I can't begin to tell you how devastating it is.

RavenVonChaos · 20/06/2012 17:42

No parents is going to be chuffed that their child is smoking weed. However I do resent that weed is seen as some sort of gateway drug. The first mind altering substance that 99.9% of young people try is alcohol.....this I believe is the gateway drug. I think its daft to shift the blame to other substances, when we know that alcohol does far more damage to individuals and society.

I would love my kids to never touch tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs. Unfortunately, all we can do is point out the pitfalls of all these things and support them to make the right choices. Easy Peasy Hmm

ajandjjmum · 20/06/2012 17:45

My DN works in mental health, and many of her patients started having problems after they began smoking weed.

So yes, I would mind, and fortunately their cousin has spoken to them about the reasons they shouldn't.

MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 20/06/2012 17:58

My DS2 does smoke weed.. I hate hate hate it... BUT there is nothing I can do..he is 19, he has a full time job, pays his way, works hard and doesn't drink.

No one else in the family even smokes, but where I live (in a 'nice' middle class area of Oxfordshire) it is sooo common.

I am hoping and expecting that my son with grow out of it as I have noticed it tends to decrease here as the lads mature a bit.

He has lost two friends to awful driving accidents tho.. and some pretty awful drinking related problems. Weed is a nasty drug and I hate it.. but I also hate what alcohol does to some of our young people too.. :(

Original poster
SecretSquirrels · 20/06/2012 18:00

Weed is illegal and distributed and sold by criminals, that's what makes it a gateway to harder drugs.
I don't deny that alcohol is a problem but it's legal and you don't have mix with drug dealers to use it.

OP posts:
saggarmakersbottomknocker · 20/06/2012 18:08

Yes I would mind. And yy to what squirrel says with regard to its origin and distribution.

AnyFucker · 20/06/2012 18:10

of course, I would be fucking devastated, tbh

notcitrus · 20/06/2012 18:13

I know a number of people who have smoked weed and had psychosis since. In all cases they say the reason they took weed was to treat the symptoms they already had - after caffeine, nicotine and alcohol had been tried.
The weed generally didn't help, or helped in the short term but led to other issues, but it wasn't the start of their problems.

Some of my friends smoke a fair bit, usually instead of alcohol (people seem to prefer one or the other), but they're adults. I wouldn't be happy for my or any other young teenager to be using it, firstly because I'd wonder why they wanted to and worry about their mental health, but also because it is illegal, and while I don't believe something being illegal makes it wrong (eg gay kissing in public when I was a teenager), it does mean you are mixing with people breaking a lot of laws who are selling it to you.

I suspect that the clampdown on underage drinking compared to when I was a teenager has led to a lot of teenagers looking for other drugs to pass the time instead. I think the 80s solution of teenagers going to a pub, ordering half a cider each and sitting in the corner trying not to draw attention to themselves was a lot better in the long run.

McPhee · 20/06/2012 18:14

I'd skelp his arse, then rip him a new one!

RavenVonChaos · 20/06/2012 18:17

"I suspect that the clampdown on underage drinking compared to when I was a teenager has led to a lot of teenagers looking for other drugs to pass the time instead. I think the 80s solution of teenagers going to a pub, ordering half a cider each and sitting in the corner trying not to draw attention to themselves was a lot better in the long run"

notcitrus I totally agree. And young people are not mixing with evil drug dealers, they buy weed from their friends.......they get it in school. Dear dear, it was just the tuck shop in my day....

ToryLovell · 20/06/2012 18:23

Yes I would mind very much. I would be concerned about the mental health implications long term as much as anything else. Being an aspie, DS is likely to have MH problems as it is without any further triggers.

Nagoo · 20/06/2012 18:31

I smoked a little bit when I was younger.

My mum didn't know. My use did not effect my life to the point that she would have found out.

Cannabis is really really strong now compared with the late 90s. It stinks, I can't see how any DCs could hide it from their parents. I would hate it if DS started stinking of skunk :(

Kids know drug dealers anyway. There is at least one in every 6th form. They were normal kids when I was at school, not shady trenchcoat types.