Would you mind if your teenager smoked weed?

[SecretSquirrels]

DS1 now 16 has recently mentioned several times that he has seen people he knows smoking weed. Not any of his friends but his year group and younger. He is very straight laced and judgy about it but reckons there has been zero drugs education at school and there should be (his opinion as well as mine).

I have seen two threads recently on which many, many posters openly admitted to smoking weed. I don't know whether these are very young parents with young children or whether they have teenagers but I am genuinely shocked.
Am I so out of touch or out of date that this is now normal?

Bumbaclot Sun 24-Jun-12 18:29:58 'It's based on the same logic that if you begin drinking milk you'll end up drinking alcohol which isn't true'

Bumbaclot, I don't think you are full of shit, I just think you apply no common sense to your argument, you present your opinion as fact and you keep suggesting that we posters who are telling the OP that she should be concerned that we have an unbalanced view, which is quite untrue.

Myself and Mary z (and others) have given no indication in our posts to suggest we think anything other than 'millions of people' can use it without issue. We are quite aware of that.

Your milk and alcohol argument and whoever else is preaching about this study clearly applies no common sense or reality to this IMO.

When we are 14 we don't all sit around in a shed drinking milk because its a bit naughty, then someone gets out the cola cause thats one step up and then we all drink cola and then someone then brings out the cider because thats then naughty and illegal.

But kids do sit in a shed having had a drag of a cig, then a drag of a joint, then a pill, then as they get older a line of coke.........each time they try something and it works out ok then why not try something else?

To bring in drinking milk and alcohol argument, to me is non nonsensical and irrelevant.

Have you read the posts? Posters have been arguing the case to why they think 'you are full of shit'.

"Thank you for the sources, however the Royal College of Psychiatrists link contains a lot of outdated references and seems to be written in a way to scare parents into sending their child to a psychiatrist (psychiatrsits have to make money too)."

As someone who has been in the mental health system as a patient for years (and who has many friends in the same situation) I can say that Psychiatrists do not need more patients. They are overrun to the point that people awaiting help are sometimes reaching suicide before that help is given. There are not enough beds in hospitals and - unless private, children's or sometimes Eating Disorder/Rehab - they do not offer therapy inpatient due to people having to be released so quickly to provide more beds. Anyone who works in Psychology would be able to tell you how overrun they are.

With psychological studies there is no absolute proof because of the correlation not showing cause and effect, you did say that yourself Bumbaclot, so there isn't much point in using them to back you up. For each point of view there will be about the same number of studies. That page is not designed to scaremonger, simply to give the common view in Psychiatry today.

Sorry, not a post about Cannabis, just wanted to get that out there.

I think its totally ridiculous to liken cannabis for medical purposes to cannabis use by children. I do however agree that the gate way hypothesis seems to be bollocks.
People with Schizophrenia are more likely to abuse drugs and there is something in the argument that they may use alcohol or illegal drugs to negate symptoms of psychosis or side effects of anti psychotic drugs. But, cannabis use can cause psychosis is some vulnerable individuals.

I am in no way anti-drugs, I have had some of the best experiences of my life when taking them. But, I am an adult, my brain has finished growing. There is evidence that alcohol and drug use is far, far more damaging on the adolescent brain (50% more damaging I believe) and cannabis is incredibly strong now, and nothing like when I was growing up.

I would mind very much if my DC smoked cannabis as teenagers.
When they are adults, then that is none of my business, I just hope I will have equipped them with the necessary skills and self esteem to not do anything risky or that they didn't want to do. I hope that if they did indulge it would be for fun and not as a form of escape or anything.

I think I would be relaxed about it provided it was the odd joint here and there.

I would be very unhappy if DC became regular smokers. Some teens seem to smoke every day which must be debilitating.

Interesting to see the "ruin life" attitude isn't the attitude of the whole forum.

"But kids do sit in a shed having had a drag of a cig, then a drag of a joint, then a pill, then as they get older a line of coke.........each time they try something and it works out ok then why not try something else?"

Do they though? What's stopping someone going straight to heroin? It's a concious choice on the user's behalf as to what they consume. So if a cig is before a joint, what's before the cig? And what was before that? You can keep going until you reach something like milk.

"But until you start smoking dope, you don't know whether or not you are going to be one of the ones who can take or leave it, or whether you are one of the people whose life will be destroyed."

Is it really as simple as smoking weed and destroying your life? The easiest way I see it is weed consumption can be a side effect of psychosis rather than psychosis being the side effect of weed consumption. If a young teenager is found using weed or any other recreational drug (they could be showing symptoms of early psychosis/depression/addictive personality/you name it), then you should be more focused on why they want to use drugs at that age rather than putting your attention on the drug and scaring people with false info - I don't think many teenagers (or anyone) would appreciate being told that the weed they smoked could cause schizophrenia/psychosis when there's no solid evidence to prove it, that's only going to make things worse and make you feel worse for believing it.

To quote: "knowledge is power" (like bro whoever came up with that was like most definitely like stoned and stuff dude that's deep man deep), and in that knowledge is the power to be a better parent (deep, man), whether you agree with me on this subject or not.

The best parent in the world, knowledgeable to her tonsils, is far too often no match for the local dealer, who has far more of a profit motive in mind that the local psychiatrist (who after all has taken an oath to do no harm). For the dealer, profit is the only motive.

Is that not an argument for legalisation?

I sometimes sort of support legalisation.

At present access to drugs is controlled by criminals and large chunks of many towns and cities have become nightmarish places to live as a result. There is also the issue of varying quality of drugs, including pot and there have been issues with most other drugs too. Legalisation would possibly mean wresting control of the supply out of the hands of gangs and might also mean assurance of quality. Such was the reasoning of my late exFIL anyway. He was a neurosurgeon, and spent a lot of time dealing with the aftermath of car accidents, gun violence, etc. He came from a US city that suffered massive public corruption during the days of Prohibition (not the obvious city that springs to mind -- a smaller one but no less corrupt) and perhaps that was a factor in his conclusions.

I suppose my thought on the subject is that the trade in drugs could be wiped out if enough money was spent enforcing the law and eliminating demand, with a large dollop of interference in the internal affairs of states where the drugs are grown. Either that or legalise it and seek to keep tabs on users and their welfare that way. Going over it in my mind, I don't think it would happen like that though -- look how society deals with people who develop problems from drinking, and the secondary problems that drinking causes in families and communities, and ask if society really has the motivation to spend the sort of money to keep addicts from being their own worst enemies.

Bumpalot. Please don't defend drugs. I doubt you have, at close quarters seen their impact. Likening drug use to alcohol consumption is flawed. The legalising of drugs is an appalling idea. Decriminalising them and moving the policy on and the treatment of them to the dept of health would be a start, but I doubt any politician has the balls to do so. Until then it is for the Nhs acute wards/a&e and prison service to deal with. Yet again leaving it to the practitioners to mop-up the mess. In Australia they are trying "shooting galleries" where chronic users can go to get clean drugs and needles, but they can only take in a secure environment. This is back-up by a multiagency team which includes not only healthcare and other professionals, but also family, friends and community. Sorry this is a long way from the op but it starts with a school age laugh and ends up in tragedy, as my family know only too well.

Oh bugger. Meant to also say you talk about "conscious choice". No no it's not it's an addition. Totally different.

wow, what an interesting topic, well, sorry to say, my friends son age20, been smoking it a lot for 2 years just got drug induced psychosis, he took her car, with no permission drove it for two hours speeding went through red lights and everything, finally got arrested and headbutted two Police officers and lots more, hearing voices etc he finally got sectioned for a month. Is that a good advert for it. My dd says everyone smokes it, I dont agree, it depends who your friends are.

Bumbaclot, There is nothing to stop someone going straight to Heroine but who has experience/examples of that? I don't, but I have much experience and examples of the stepping stone effect.

I can't believe you mentioned Milk again!! I'm beginning to think you are a little crazy!!

I think you are deliberately trying to wind people up on here.

"look how society deals with people who develop problems from drinking, and the secondary problems that drinking causes in families and communities, and ask if society really has the motivation to spend the sort of money to keep addicts from being their own worst enemies."

Well keeping drugs illegal costs a lot of money, both in police costs and prison costs. People take drugs regardless of their legal status, it would be far better to treat drugs as a health issue rather than a criminal one. Sending a heroin addict to prison where they cannot recieve help (they can probably get heroin in the prison though) seems a bit ridiculous.

"Likening drug use to alcohol consumption is flawed."

Alcohol consumption is drug use, I think it makes perfect sense. Oh wait, alcohol's not a drug, it's a drink. Forgot that.

"Decriminalising them and moving the policy on and the treatment of them to the dept of health would be a start"

I agree that it should be considered a health issue, but decriminalising drug use doesn't decriminalise supplying drugs which means the market would still be in the same hands as today.

"Meant to also say you talk about "conscious choice". No no it's not it's an addition."

The first time you choose to use a drug you are not compelled by addiction.

"There is nothing to stop someone going straight to Heroine but who has experience/examples of that?"

I'm sure it's very rare but I'm also sure it's happened. How does that fit in to the stepping stone theory?

"I can't believe you mentioned Milk again!! I'm beginning to think you are a little crazy!!"

The milk example is meant to be stupid, it's there to highlight what the stepping stone theory is about. Is milk a stepping stone to something "harder"? Like a cig is apparently a stepping stone to weed?

"I think you are deliberately trying to wind people up on here."

That's up to them.

Bumbaclot Love your name, actually made me smile.

I don't particularly want to get in on the argument of for/against because I have my opinion and won't be changing it.

The OP is a bit ambiguous in my eyes because as some posters have talked about there is a difference between smoking weed and smoking skunk and also the extent to which you smoke either.

My DC and I have an open and honest relationship, I know that my DD1 doesn't want to be involved in any smoking, she had asthma when younger and she quite rightly avoids it. My DS has tried weed and smoking but he is very focused on his sport and doesn't want to do anything to damage that, they both prefer to drink alcohol but it doesn't mean they won't be interested in the future.

I would describe myself as a regular weed smoker, in that I would say I do it fortnightly (roughly) and my DH probably more often, weekly but can be more and can be less. It varies, depends whats happening. If my DC (16, 16 & 6) did smoke weed in the way that DH and I do I wouldn't have a problem with it. If it was an everyday occurrence and became something they prioritised over everything else then i would have a problem with it, but I would have a problem with them doing that with anything alcohol, internet whatever.

I started smoking weed at about 12 or 13, my DH would have been around the same age, as were most of his siblings, our friends, cousins etc. My parents and my DHs parents used to smoke weed, I have never known anyone to have a problem that was caused by it. I've had friends with drug problems (one who sadly died), friends who have had mental health issues but they have been told these are not drug and alcohol related. I accept some people do have difficulties but people have difficulties with lots of substances.

I am 38 so have been around the drug for say 25ish years, and I have never had to buy it. My DH currently tends to buy it from a family friend who has his own business and is considered to be a reputable and successful person. I think that your opinion of weed is related to your personal experience. Just saying it is illegal is in my eyes as irrelevant as telling me your dogs name, I couldn't care less.

Christ what an essay. Well done if you get through it

I appreciate the kind words Ruby, but that's not going to stop me from considering you an immoral drug addict who's on the path of destruction.

Just kidding . Some parents could learn a thing or two from you.

'Well keeping drugs illegal costs a lot of money, both in police costs and prison costs. People take drugs regardless of their legal status, it would be far better to treat drugs as a health issue rather than a criminal one. Sending a heroin addict to prison where they cannot recieve help (they can probably get heroin in the prison though) seems a bit ridiculous.'

That was sort of my point. Either deal with the issue effectively via law enforcement or deal with it effectively through the health system. The fact remains that the alternative to the prison system is the healthcare system, and that should tell you a lot about the nature of drugs, including pot.

By addiction what do you mean? Do you accept there are two types of addiction, physical and mental? Weed is not physically addictive unlike opiates, cocaine, alcohol etc. Pretty much anything can be mentally addictive - cake, sex, weed, sports etc. If someone is displaying addictive behaviour towards weed then that is their choice, the body doesn't start physically craving for a joint (if tobacco is used then they're likely to be addicted to that). There's a reason behind the fact someone is using it addictively in the same way someone might binge on icecream to make themselves feel better.

I don't believe weed is harmless, but I don't believe it causes the harm people here have been claiming.

This may be worth watching:

At 16 I would mind A LOT

a bit older, then I would rather know & be able to talk to DD about sensible use as opposed to sticking my head in the sand & believing it won't happen - it is everywhere & they WILL come into contact with it.

• you are very lucky your DS would come to you with stuff like this - luckier still he has a sensible head on him too :) - surprised nothing taught at his school though - they are already teaching the pitfalls of drugs & alcohol at DDs PRIMARY School

FTR I smoked recreationally in my youth, & I did at times for work (creative feild) & I still will on very rare occasions, so I'd be a hypocrite to expect DD to abstain - I also know that with sensible use it doesn't have to ruin lives - but it CAN & DOES -

I also know that what is openly available these days is FAR stronger & more dangerous than when I was young & there in lies the biggest danger, hence why I would much rather DD could come to me & talk openly hen

I feel a bit torn because I agree with both of you in some ways.

Weed is not a physical addiction, but if you look at something like sex which is also not a physical addiction, some people have terrible problems and their addiction consumes their life ( this is the kind of thing I was referring to earlier). Therefore because it is a behaviour that causes a reaction or a certain feeling, like food sex gaming etc there is a mentall addictive aspect.

I agree with the legalisation of weed because I feel it would provide a more regulated industry, reduce the amount of people who are benefiting through the exploitation of others and also mean that services could be provided in relation to it's use. Tis would mean help could be offered to those who do need it.

The thing with anything that goes on in teenage years, drugs sex a change in friends is that it's a time when lots of changes happen anyway. Maryz can't know how her son would have been during his teen years without the weed so she can realistically feel there is a correlation between his bad behaviour and some of the problems with dealers and things are obviously drug related. However, technically there is no evidence that her son wouldnt have behaved in this way had he been involved with another substance root at all.

As I said I feel weed is completely down to the person and personal experience. If I had the experiences of Maryz I'd possibly feel differently, but I don't think those who have had solely positive experiences should be dismissed. To me it's like the spectrum between the health benefits of red wine, the friend we all have who is a horrible/emotional drunk and the alcohol dependent homeless person soon to die of liver failure (sorry not perfect examples).

On the iPad! Hope you can make sense of my terrible spelling.