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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

My daughter has run away

106 replies

tantrumsandballoons · 16/03/2012 07:38

I'm going out of my mind, we have had ongoing arguments with my 14 y/o dd regarding Facebook and we discovered last night she was still on Facebook even after we shut down her account.
She has been posting sexual pictures and talking dirty to 16/17 yr old boys
There was a big argument, and this morning she was gone.
We have spoken to police, and from FB chat, we know she was with an older boy last night at 12:19am, but no idea where she is now
The police are looking, my DH and ds1 are out looking but I have to stay in case she comes back and I am do scared, I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 16/03/2012 07:42

Oh god, you must be going out of your mind :(

Have you rung around all of her friends houses & spoken to their parents?

14 - it's so bloody young for all of that isn't it, they are growing up too early and it's so hard with all of this technology to keep it under control. Our parents had it much easier.

Have a Brew I am sure DH or the police will find her soon xxx

Original poster
tantrumsandballoons · 16/03/2012 07:43

Thanks, have phoned everyone, sent messages on FB etc but no luck

I am going crazy

OP posts:
Dustinthewind · 16/03/2012 07:44

You sit and wait, but phone her friends and phone the school to see if they can suggest places. Who was she chatting to? Get hold of them if you can, can you post on her wall?
Has she ever done this before, disappeared or flounced off for a while or overnight?
It must be terrifying for you, but there will be others along who have first-hand experience of this and will be able to help you. Try and stay calm and think.

BuckBuckMcFate · 16/03/2012 07:45

Oh tantrumsandballoons Sad

How worrying for you. I've no experience of this as a parent but didn't want to read and not post.

Fwiw I was a very rebellious teenager but I knew at the back of mind that my mum would be there for me whatever I did.

Does she have a mobile? Can you text her to say that? Tell her that this can all be sorted and you love her?

Sending big cwtches to you, it's always hard to be the one left at home not 'doing anything'.

Hebiegebies · 16/03/2012 07:48

Couldn't read and not comment, just want to say things will improve as the day starts, the school will be helpful I'm sure

MsF1t · 16/03/2012 07:49

Is this the first time she's disappeared for any length of time? And how has she been getting on at school?

So sorry for your troubles- you really must be out of your mind worrying.

Fuzzywood · 16/03/2012 07:50

Oh you poor thing Sad
As someone said, can you post on her facebook wall? Would one of her friends do it for you? Is it worth talking to her friends parents to see if they can find anything out.

OlympicGoldPennies · 16/03/2012 07:50

Hope she's found soon. What a minefield it is parenting teenagers these days.

Original poster
tantrumsandballoons · 16/03/2012 07:51

Thank you for all your kind words of support, she has never done this before, just come home very late from school but never run away

She lost her phone 2 days ago but I have sent her a FB message as she was using it last night do hope she will see it.

OP posts:
lisad123 · 16/03/2012 07:53

poor you, you must be beside yourself with worry.
I agree with what others have said, if you can get on her facebook wall post on it. Also change her password, because if she finds out you are posting to her friends on it, she may well shut it down.
Hope police are helping, 14 is so young :(

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 16/03/2012 07:54

Sorry - my emphasis was on 'spoken to the parents' not have you rung. Teenagers are so good at covering for each other I'd be worried she was at one of her friends whose parents think you know she's there.

Have you been able to send her texts? Have you told her to just come home and you will sort it all out, she's not in trouble??

Have they found the boy who she was with?

Original poster
tantrumsandballoons · 16/03/2012 07:54

She has been doing very well at school, just picked her options, I thought she was happy.

OP posts:
ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 16/03/2012 07:55

x-posted with you x

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 16/03/2012 07:56

It doesn't mean she's not happy - in general. Just that she was pissed off over the Facebook thing. They are all growing up far too fast and social media is not helping one bit :(

Original poster
tantrumsandballoons · 16/03/2012 07:57

We are trying to find the boy, we know his brother goes to her school do are trying to find out from the school where he lives

OP posts:
Killergerbil · 16/03/2012 08:01

Try not to panic too much, she probably is happy, but being a teenage girl is hard, ey can't see through the consequences of their Ctions interns of how they make others feel. She is almost certainly with a friend, and even if she has gone to a a boyfriends, most boys are good and caring people even of their hormones make them like pictures we would rather they didn't. School wil certainly be a help. Ask to speak to here head of year and possible their designated child protection person. Both will be able to support and help. Xx

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 16/03/2012 08:15

Oh, well at least he's local and not the other end of the country!

I am sure you will have her back home soon.

Original poster
tantrumsandballoons · 16/03/2012 08:42

We have just heard from the boy she met last night, he left her on his street at 2am, and went home. We don't know where she went she is not at school.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 16/03/2012 08:45

He MUST know more than that, has he spoken to the police?
Hope she turns up soon looking sheepish and tired

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 16/03/2012 08:45

Tantrums, I don't have any useful suggestions but just wanted to say how sorry I am you're going through this and have my fingers very firmly crossed for some good news very soon.

beautifulwho · 16/03/2012 08:45

O gosh, poor you and your family. How horrendous.

beautifulwho · 16/03/2012 08:46

Sorry that went before I meant it too. What on earth was he doing leaving her at 2 am? Angry Is he telling the truth?

Original poster
tantrumsandballoons · 16/03/2012 08:47

The police have spoken to him, he said he just went home
DH still out looking, at a loss where else to look though.

OP posts:
ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 16/03/2012 08:49

Hmm - I'd be sending DH or the police around to have another chat. Most older boys wouldn't leave a 14 year old on the street at 2am. He must know more - at least where she was intending to go surely and why did they meet? He needs a bit of pressure put on him - she's a minor, he's older.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 16/03/2012 08:50

Sorry - I keep cross posting with you!!

... and the police left it at that? Surely not??

What did she take with her? Any chance she might just turn up at school?

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