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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

What to do about dss's 'exciting dreams'.

61 replies

Squirrel3 · 03/11/2005 10:44

My stepson has been having 'those' dreams for the past year now.

Completely normal I know but, its left to me to change and wash the bedding and wash his boxers afterwards, (if he was bio mine it wouldn't be so much of a problem but dealing with someone else's son's 'you know what' is a bit revolting!)

Do I ask dp to talk to him to ask him to take his boxers home with him? Do I leave some tissues in his room so that he can 'clean up' a little bit? Do I ask dp to ask him to strip the bed and put the bedding in the washing machine?

Maybe the latter might be too embarrasing for him, but having said that he doesn't seem too embarrassed by it because he just leaves it there for me to sort out, he knows that I wash his bedding and any clothes that get left behind when he goes home. I would have thought that he would try to hide his boxers at least, take them home and sort them out himself.

I just know I can't do it anymore, when I stripped his bed this morning I accidently touched 'it' and I managed to get 'it' all over my hands and I nearly threw up!!!! No matter how many times I have scrubbed my hands I still feel yuk!!!!

Maybe I'm over reacting, my own son dealt with those dreams himself and put his own bedding etc in the washing machine when it needed it (because he was embarassed I suspect.)

Sorry if this is making anybody feel queasy.

OP posts:

cod · 03/11/2005 10:45

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Squirrel3 · 03/11/2005 10:46

Mother hasn't said anything, I don't know how she deals with it at her home.

OP posts:

Lonelymum · 03/11/2005 10:47

Naive mother here of three boys: is it really that much IYSWIM? Doesn't it just dry?

cod · 03/11/2005 10:47

Message withdrawn

Lonelymum · 03/11/2005 10:48

Oh how humiliating for him to be spoken to on this subject by his parents. If my parents had spoken to me on this subject, I am not sure I could have looked them in the face ever again. Is it really so hard to deal with? Someone please enlighten me as ds1 is 9 and I ought to prepare myself!

SleepyJess · 03/11/2005 10:51

Squirrel put a linen basket on the stairs.. or in the room he uses.. and make a 'general announcement' that everyone should put their dirty clothes/linen it. And tell DS to strip the bed when he has slept in it making no reference to the nocturnal emissions! (It's quite a reasonable request to ask him to strip the bed.. I know he isn't exactly a 'guest' but if he doesn't live with you, then you will obviously be wanting to wash his covers after they have been used..)

He is indeed being a bit gross by just leaving 'that' for you to deal with! But I suppose it just another gross male habit.. like leaving their skiddy undies everywhere...

How old is SDS? My DS is 13 and I had 'warned' him about such occurances so that it will be no big deal when it happens. He just gives me withering looks!! He is not big on personal hygiene but I can't actually imagine him leaving it there for me to see!!

If the above fails, ask DH to speak to him.. a bit of humilition would be needed then.. but pref. not from you I would think..

flamesparrow · 03/11/2005 10:52

I'd go with the theory of the new system that everyone puts their linen in the basket, and everyone strips their own bed (I'm not sure what other children are in the house, but it is never too early to start stripping own beds).

cod · 03/11/2005 10:53

Message withdrawn

WigWamBam · 03/11/2005 10:54

It must be embarrassing enough that it's happening without having to get his dad to lecture him about it. Maybe he just doesn't know what to do with the soiled sheets and boxers when he's at your house - perhaps he just needs a gentle nudge in the direction of the laundry basket? Although even then you might end up having to handle it. The idea of asking everyone to strip their own beds is a good one - you're not singling him out for humiliation then.

flamesparrow · 03/11/2005 10:54

I'm assuming that Squirrel's SS is only there on certain days....

SleepyJess · 03/11/2005 10:55

If a 6 y/old starts doing WHAT???!!!

When do wet dreams start occuring anyway?? I mean, on average..? My DH 'can't remember'! He remembers his first w*nk.. but I told him this was no particularly helpful...!

flamesparrow · 03/11/2005 10:56

pmsl - the six year old is stripping beds every day!!!!

Lonelymum · 03/11/2005 10:57

Is anyone prepared to tell me how bad this problem is? The way Squirrel describes it, there are mounds of semen sitting, glistening in little piles all over the sheets. It is only a damp patch surely?

cod · 03/11/2005 10:57

Message withdrawn

Lonelymum · 03/11/2005 10:58

Really? You wouldn't think I had been married 11 yeasr would you? Mind you, my dh doesn't do it in the bed.

SleepyJess · 03/11/2005 10:58

I'm sure it can only be a bit.. I mean grown men don't produce vast rivers of it do they! (But maybe that is because they spend so much time w*nking.. ans the 'supply and demand' system is fully organised .)

Oh cripes.. WHAT am I discussing now...

SleepyJess · 03/11/2005 11:00

I don't think grown men usually have wet dreams. I suppose sexually frustrated ones might. My DH never has since he has been a proper adult. I asked him.. he would tell me if he had.. he is gross like that.

Lonelymum · 03/11/2005 11:00

No I am sure dh doesn't have wet dreams. I meant he doesn't wank in bed.

Original poster

Squirrel3 · 03/11/2005 11:01

I wouldn't dream of talking to him myself, I don't know who would be more embarrased, just thinking about it is making me cringe.

Think that the general announcement about stripping beds is the way to go.

Lonelymum, sometimes it drys out, sometimes it doesn't. This mornings hadn't, even if it does dry out the bedding still needs washing and while is not quite so revolting its still a bit yuk! If he was bio mine it wouldn't be so bad I supose.

OP posts:

peckarollover · 03/11/2005 11:02

I think you have to deal with it in the same way you would if he were your own.

Talking as a step child would have been horrified to think that my SM was horrified with my bodily fluids but wouldnt have been of her own.

It is yukky either way but presumably totally natural (my boy is only 2!) - I think the laundry basket is a good idea.

I dont think he should be asked to take his boxers home with him to get washed, that makes him feel too much like a "guest" and not like his dads house. Would you send him home with his boxers if it wasnt for these errrrrrr deposits?

auntymandy · 03/11/2005 11:02

yuk..have I this to look forward to...or is this why DS changes his bed himself?

SleepyJess · 03/11/2005 11:05

Ugh I don't think I want to handle spunk whether the person who has produced it is biologically mine or not..! I mean it's gross isn't it.. I don't even like DH's.

Isn't this why we all gave up swallowing years ago?

(Right I'm going.. too too much for 11am.. I do apologise.. )

SleepyJess · 03/11/2005 11:07

My ex H and his wife ALWAYS send DS home with ALL his dirty washing even if he has stayed with them all weekend!

peckarollover · 03/11/2005 11:08

My DD goes to her Dads each weekend and some weeks he does this too and it really pisses me off!

Original poster

Squirrel3 · 03/11/2005 11:09

Peckarollover, when dss just stays overnight all of his dirty clothes get sent back home (as its usually his dirty school uniform which I don't have time to wash and dry) but he always leaves his boxers when he has these dreams, maybe he is less embarrased about me knowing than he is about his Mum knowing.

OP posts:

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