What to do about dss's 'exciting dreams'.

[Squirrel3]

My stepson has been having 'those' dreams for the past year now.

Completely normal I know but, its left to me to change and wash the bedding and wash his boxers afterwards, (if he was bio mine it wouldn't be so much of a problem but dealing with someone else's son's 'you know what' is a bit revolting!)

Do I ask dp to talk to him to ask him to take his boxers home with him? Do I leave some tissues in his room so that he can 'clean up' a little bit? Do I ask dp to ask him to strip the bed and put the bedding in the washing machine?

Maybe the latter might be too embarrasing for him, but having said that he doesn't seem too embarrassed by it because he just leaves it there for me to sort out, he knows that I wash his bedding and any clothes that get left behind when he goes home. I would have thought that he would try to hide his boxers at least, take them home and sort them out himself.

I just know I can't do it anymore, when I stripped his bed this morning I accidently touched 'it' and I managed to get 'it' all over my hands and I nearly threw up!!!! No matter how many times I have scrubbed my hands I still feel yuk!!!!

Maybe I'm over reacting, my own son dealt with those dreams himself and put his own bedding etc in the washing machine when it needed it (because he was embarassed I suspect.)

Sorry if this is making anybody feel queasy.

[brightstar1]

sleepyjess. next time he goes,send a bag of dirty washing with him.

[auntymandy]

Cant his Dad have a word?
Dont make him think its dirty or unnatural though

[Squirrel3]

BTW weekends, I try to wash, dry and iron everything.

[Lonelymum]

Poor kid, he really seems embarrassed about it if he doesn't take his boxers home for his mum to see.

I can't believe anyone here is so put off a bit of semem dried on a sheet. Would you feel the same way about menstral blood on the sheets?

[Squirrel3]

I don't think that if dp were to have a word he would embarass him. I think he would tell him its quite normal.

[MunnziesDH]

i would ask his dad to have a quiet word, but dont let him know that you sent him too.

Theres not much "stuff" only about 1/2 to 1 tsp but still minging i know

the washing basket in his room is a good idea tho, will make him take a little responsibility for himself as well as stop you having to strip the dreaded bed

[Squirrel3]

Loneymum if it were still wet and I accidently put my hand in it, yes, I would feel a bit yuk about it.

[SleepyJess]

How old is he squirrel?

[peckarollover]

Squirrel, maybe it is that he feels more comfortable you knowing than his Mum. In which case, yay to you for being an obviously lovely step mum

Im a bit sensitive to the subject as my SM has over teh years and more recently made it quite clear she cant stand me and my own DD's "step mum" doesnt have anything to do with her.

[Squirrel3]

MunnziesDH, there was a fair sized dollop which had soaked through to the matteress so dss must be abnormal then, (or he had been 'storing it up') lol

Oh well, at least I'm laughing about it now.

[MunnziesDH]

it will always look more on sheets as as the sheet get soaked the rest spreads to a dry patch

like pouring a small amount of water on the kitchen worktop and then putting a single sheet of paper towel of it...always look like loads cos it spreads

[Easy]

TBH by teens I would be expecting the kids(step or bio) to put their mucky clothes into the laundry basket anyway. Come to think of it ds is 6, and he does this now. and they should be changing their own beds too.

[tarantula]

mmmmm so how do you manage to get clothes worn on Saturday washed and dried by Sunday lunch time? I'll wash dss's friday clothes if I get the chance and they will prob be dry in time but Sat clothes go back either dirty or washed and wet.
I'd get dp to have a word Squirrel thats what I do re dss's personal hygeine or lack thereof (have to admit I do nag him re face washing teethbrushing and deodorant tho) and I get dss to strip his own bed on Sunday mornign at the same tiem as we do ours.

[Squirrel3]

SleepyJess, he is 14.

peckarollover, I'm sad for you, thats horrible. I think that childrens lives can enriched by having a good step-parent. More people to love them can't be a bad thing, can it?

[SleepyJess]

Oh God. DS1 is thirteen.

[stitch]

fgs, get him to do his own laundry.
my ds2, who is four, puts his own bedsheets clothes in the washing machine if he wets himself at night. why are you letting this almost adult treat you like a slave?
tell him outright that whilst you are happy to clean up after him with normal stuff, he needs to deal with his own personal, manly adult stuff himself.
what a git.

[Squirrel3]

Tarantula, got to admit sometimes I can't get it done if we go out for the day on the sunday but I do try.

[auntymandy]

As I said my son does his own bed, not sure if this is the reason..got me thinking now!!
Its just natural though and you should be very sensitve

[Squirrel3]

auntymandy, my ds started to change his own bedding when he became a teenager, I don't know if it was because of 'dreams' or because he didn't really want me going into his bedroom as it is his own private sanctuary where mum isn't allowed.

He is 20 now and he is still the same.

[auntymandy]

should i ask him!!! lol!

[Squirrel3]

and how would you start that conversation then auntymandy? pmsl

Bet you would be more embarrassed than he would be!

[peckarollover]

Indeed, more people to love them is great.

My own DH is a BRILLIANT step dad to my DD - so much so that she now calls him Dad. A good step parent is a very valuable thing and a bad one is very destructive.

Your obviously of the good variety

[Squirrel3]

Thank you peckarollover

[auntymandy]

I would just say..'you know you change your own bed..is it cos you have wet dreams or are you wanking? or do you just like clean sheets?'
Can you imagine his face!!!!

[Squirrel3]

PMSL, you could take a picture and put it on member profiles!