What to do about dss's 'exciting dreams'.

[Squirrel3]

My stepson has been having 'those' dreams for the past year now.

Completely normal I know but, its left to me to change and wash the bedding and wash his boxers afterwards, (if he was bio mine it wouldn't be so much of a problem but dealing with someone else's son's 'you know what' is a bit revolting!)

Do I ask dp to talk to him to ask him to take his boxers home with him? Do I leave some tissues in his room so that he can 'clean up' a little bit? Do I ask dp to ask him to strip the bed and put the bedding in the washing machine?

Maybe the latter might be too embarrasing for him, but having said that he doesn't seem too embarrassed by it because he just leaves it there for me to sort out, he knows that I wash his bedding and any clothes that get left behind when he goes home. I would have thought that he would try to hide his boxers at least, take them home and sort them out himself.

I just know I can't do it anymore, when I stripped his bed this morning I accidently touched 'it' and I managed to get 'it' all over my hands and I nearly threw up!!!! No matter how many times I have scrubbed my hands I still feel yuk!!!!

Maybe I'm over reacting, my own son dealt with those dreams himself and put his own bedding etc in the washing machine when it needed it (because he was embarassed I suspect.)

Sorry if this is making anybody feel queasy.

[Fauve]

Thanks - so the bed-stripping is a good solution for you, then, isn't it? I think it's rather touching that he trusts you enough to leave his bodily emissions for you to sort out; surely he wouldn't do it if he was intimidated by you. (Unless of course he's flaunting his manliness at you, which is a different - but still rather touching - story, IMO.) It's also touching that you're handling it (the issue, erm, the question) with such sensitivity.

[Squirrel3]

Fauve, I'm sorry I don't know about the day to day, but dss stays every other weekend and one evening during the week and I change his bed after the one evening he stays, then I change the bed again after the whole weekend he stays.

I don't check the bed on the fri morning or sat morning, my thinking is that if he has done it in that time he can clean it up himself or put up with it being there!

[Fauve]

SJ, you must have given him good-looking genes .

My ds is only 11, but can anyone give me an idea of how often the bed needs to be stripped for this reason - ie how many wet dreams per week, roughly?

[SleepyJess]

Motheroftwoboys.. I haven't got this fully developed male person yet.. but my 13 year old is on the way. As soon as he gets in, his shirt/thsirt is off.. he just LOVES strolling about the house admiring his torso in mirrors which, although not grown up/'triangular' shaped yet, is quite defined for his age because he does such a lot of swim training. And the hairy arm pits! He just loves to display them all the time!

And girls fancy him! When he was at primary school, the only female to think he was cute was me! As soon as he got to Y7, he suddenly became a 'cool kid' without trying.. think this coincided with him starting to gel his hair up and wanting the front highlighted. It's not just at school tho.. I was walking up the street with him the other week and a load of schoolgirls about his age were coming the other way (not his school - he doesn't go to school in our home town.) They went past giggling and soon as they got past us they were whistling and calling 'wooo sexxxxxxy!' I swung round in suprise amazed that they could be talking about my baby boy!! (They definitely were!) I looked at him and he was just striding confidently up the road with a half-smile on his face! I said 'do you get this at school?' 'Yep!' he said, cool as a cucumber!

I don't know why I was surprised.. he got a home made valentine from someone at school last Feb who delivered the card via their form tutor! It said stuff to the effect of 'I want to see you naked!' and 'I want to get jiggy with you on your bed..'! He had hidden this card in his room. I came across it and needed a stiff drink after reading it! He was not mucn more than 12 and a half then...!! And the bed she wants to get jiggy with him on is a top bunk covered in his soft toys which he still sleeps with (and with his 5 y.old brother in the bottom one!)

I am finding this parenting of a teenage lad something of an education.. and a trial.. and I fear there may be much worse to come!

[Tortington]

i've never had this problem becuase they should wash their own sheets at 15. its not rocket science to use a washing machine - however the hard bit is expecting them to want to wash their sheets when dirty - so i just tell them to strip their beds.

i help make the beds becuse making a bed with two people is infinitley easier.

same with clothes washing - you shouldnt be picking up dirty boxers. be should have a washing basket and wash his stuff - or go comando.

[motheroftwoboys]

My DS1 is 15 and I don't think has had any wet dreams so far or he is keeping them VERY well hidden. He is definitely fully developed though!! Find this quite scary!! Do any of you feel the same about having produced this fully functioning male creature. He has really defined muscles now and a 6 pack!! He is still totally not embarassed about wandering around with nothing on.

[DaddyCool]

leave tissues. he can just clean up quickly to reduce the 'impact'. fancy just leaving it! he obviously doesn't embarrass very easily!

i'm not the authority on this though because i never had them! i don't know why to this day but i seriously can't recall ever having them. apparantly not everyone getst them.

[auntymandy]

not the teenager the 3 year old!

[auntymandy]

lol!
I really should go now Ds shouting at me!!
He just said 'oh my god' because i said I was on pc!!

[Squirrel3]

[Squirrel3]

A picture of his face that is, lol.

Oh no! I've got tears rolling down my face.

[Squirrel3]

PMSL, you could take a picture and put it on member profiles!

[auntymandy]

I would just say..'you know you change your own bed..is it cos you have wet dreams or are you wanking? or do you just like clean sheets?'
Can you imagine his face!!!!

[Squirrel3]

Thank you peckarollover

[peckarollover]

Indeed, more people to love them is great.

My own DH is a BRILLIANT step dad to my DD - so much so that she now calls him Dad. A good step parent is a very valuable thing and a bad one is very destructive.

Your obviously of the good variety

[Squirrel3]

and how would you start that conversation then auntymandy? pmsl

Bet you would be more embarrassed than he would be!

[auntymandy]

should i ask him!!! lol!

[Squirrel3]

auntymandy, my ds started to change his own bedding when he became a teenager, I don't know if it was because of 'dreams' or because he didn't really want me going into his bedroom as it is his own private sanctuary where mum isn't allowed.

He is 20 now and he is still the same.

[auntymandy]

As I said my son does his own bed, not sure if this is the reason..got me thinking now!!
Its just natural though and you should be very sensitve

[Squirrel3]

Tarantula, got to admit sometimes I can't get it done if we go out for the day on the sunday but I do try.

[stitch]

fgs, get him to do his own laundry.
my ds2, who is four, puts his own bedsheets clothes in the washing machine if he wets himself at night. why are you letting this almost adult treat you like a slave?
tell him outright that whilst you are happy to clean up after him with normal stuff, he needs to deal with his own personal, manly adult stuff himself.
what a git.

[SleepyJess]

Oh God. DS1 is thirteen.

[Squirrel3]

SleepyJess, he is 14.

peckarollover, I'm sad for you, thats horrible. I think that childrens lives can enriched by having a good step-parent. More people to love them can't be a bad thing, can it?

[tarantula]

mmmmm so how do you manage to get clothes worn on Saturday washed and dried by Sunday lunch time? I'll wash dss's friday clothes if I get the chance and they will prob be dry in time but Sat clothes go back either dirty or washed and wet.
I'd get dp to have a word Squirrel thats what I do re dss's personal hygeine or lack thereof (have to admit I do nag him re face washing teethbrushing and deodorant tho) and I get dss to strip his own bed on Sunday mornign at the same tiem as we do ours.

[Easy]

TBH by teens I would be expecting the kids(step or bio) to put their mucky clothes into the laundry basket anyway. Come to think of it ds is 6, and he does this now. and they should be changing their own beds too.