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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Home alone

36 replies

happygolucky0 · 14/04/2011 17:37

Hello

I was wondering if you could give me some ideas when what you think of ........ leaving a 13 and half year old over night at home two or three times a week. I work nights and would leave at 9pm and be home at 8am.

He is quite intellgent and has been at home on his own during the day for short periods for over a year and things hasve gone well. He sticks to the rules that are set as best as possible.
I am a single parent and he has been with at a childminders overnight for the past four years. It just seems that he is getting abit old to still be staying over a childminders now.
What your views ladies and gents? What age did you leave your kids and go out until late.?
Thanks

OP posts:
sharbie · 14/04/2011 17:37

crazy and illegal

Original poster
happygolucky0 · 14/04/2011 17:51

It isn't illegal .... The recommended age is 16 but there is no law.

OP posts:
Original poster
happygolucky0 · 14/04/2011 17:52

But anyhow thanks for your view!!

OP posts:
sharbie · 14/04/2011 17:53

no problem

Original poster
happygolucky0 · 14/04/2011 17:54

There is no legal age limit for leaving a child on their own, but it is an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk. Parents can be prosecuted if they leave a child unsupervised ?in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury to health? (Children and Young Person?s Act).

OP posts:
chopchopbusybusy · 14/04/2011 17:56

I believe you are correct to say it's not illegal, however, if anything happened to your son or if he got into any trouble you would almost certainly be found to be neglectful. I just wouldn't do it. Can he go to his father, grandparents, friends? If not I think you have to stick with a childminder or maybe an au pair.

sharbie · 14/04/2011 17:58

you must see that a 13yo alone at night all night is at risk op??

TheVisitor · 14/04/2011 18:03

A most definite no from me. I didn't till DS1 was 16, and I was still wary.

ThatVikRinA22 · 14/04/2011 18:04

i would not do this - what if there is a fire? or a burglary? at night the risks are greater i think in leaving kids - i work nights and i do sympathise - but i just wouldnt do it and mine are 13 and 19 (19 yr old has special needs)

how far away would you be working?

is there no way around it? my DH arranges his shifts around mine - i do 2 nights out of 6,

i know id not rest if i even tried it.

mosschops30 · 14/04/2011 18:05

I wouldnt, i leave dd 14 during the day sometimes, but its not regular and i wouldnt do it overnight.
She would be scared on her own

ThatVikRinA22 · 14/04/2011 18:07

and your right - re childrens act - but i think you would come under some very close scrutiny if anything did go wrong.

most fires happen in the early hours. i just wouldnt ever - if he has been staying at child minders then why not just stick to that arrangement for a bit longer?

Becaroooo · 14/04/2011 18:10

No

usualsuspect · 14/04/2011 18:10

I think 13 is too young to be left overnight alone

anniepanniepears · 14/04/2011 18:11

no far to young, my son is 15 and I would not leave him overnight do leave him at home during the day

ShirleyKnotThroneOfJudgement · 14/04/2011 18:11

No way. Sorry op. Absolutely NO FREAKING WAY. My Ds is coming up for 14 and I wouldn't leave him overnight. He'd be all bravado and 'I'm ok' but I know he would be scared, and I would be worrying like a fool.

Have you discussed how he feels about overnights at the CM, you might be surprised to find out that he feels ok about it!

Original poster
happygolucky0 · 14/04/2011 18:15

There is a risk when he crosses a busy road when he goes to school of a morning. I live in upstairs flat so less likely to have a burglary. He has done many fire drills at my home so is aware of what to do if there was a fire. He would not be using a cooker or gril or toaster.
It was my family that are telling that he is too old be with a childminder.... I havenever left him overnight!!!

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 14/04/2011 18:17

can't he stay with one of your family?

takingchances · 14/04/2011 18:18

When I was 10 and my sister was 13, my mum worked in a bank on Thursdays and Fridays and we would come home from school at 3, let ourselves in and make a simple snack (beans on toast or something), and wait for Mum who usually came home at 5.30.
One evening in late November, someone tried to break into our house at around 5 o'clock when my sister and I were home alone and Mum was in the bank. They put a brick through the glass in our front door and tried to get through the hole but it wasn't big enough. My sister was fairly calm because she was looking after me but I went hysterical.
I will never forget the complete terror I experienced and was petrified of being left home alone for years after that.
My sister called the police who were v stern with my parents when they came to the house and from then on we were left with neighbours for the 2 1/2 hours two days a week.
Leaving your son overnight is just not worth it. Please don't do it. Is there any other option at all???

sharbie · 14/04/2011 18:19

are you listening to us op??

ShirleyKnotThroneOfJudgement · 14/04/2011 18:25

Hello OP? I'm not talking about risk, I'm talking about your sons feelings about being left home alone, overnight, at a pretty tender age.

ThatVikRinA22 · 14/04/2011 18:26

do you realise that you WILL be held accountable if anything goes wrong though op?

its easy to think it wont. but you just never know. is it worth it?

Original poster
happygolucky0 · 14/04/2011 18:27

I think you have already made your point know Sharbie.
Of course I am reading the posts I started the thread. There is no need to speak to me like a kid .

OP posts:
ShirleyKnotThroneOfJudgement · 14/04/2011 18:27

Oh and ignore your family/friends/colleagues/old ladies/young men etc etc. Who gives a shit?

Don't leave your boy, you know it's not right. Please.

sharbie · 14/04/2011 18:33

sorry just worried

RumourOfAHurricane · 14/04/2011 18:36

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