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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Tattoo - 13 years old....HELP!!!!

90 replies

XXModernMomXX · 02/11/2010 17:11

Please, please can someone help? I have been an absolute idiot and let my 13 year old have a tattoo. She nagged and nagged and eventually I agreed to one on her shoulder. I have lots and didn't realise it was actually illegal at this age. Now I can't sleep, eat and am making myself ill with worry about the consequences.

I know I should have considered this more, put my foot down etc...but the fact is I didn't and I have made such a horrible mistake.

My daughter loves her tattoo and it does look nice. I have looked at what the law says and it seems that the tattooist has broken the law but not actually myself or my daughter....he knew how old she was...and like I said I didn't know it shouldn't have been allowed.

Now I am worried sick about being reported to the police or social services and haven't eaten or slept for 2 days. Can someone please help me and try and put my mind at ease as I feel like I'm going crazy and can no longer think straight!

OP posts:

Lougle · 02/11/2010 17:14

How could you not know it was illegal??

MassiveKnob · 02/11/2010 17:15

who is going to question her and report anyone? Nobody but a busybody I would have thought.

Were you with your dd when she had it done?

I would stop worrying about it.

MassiveKnob · 02/11/2010 17:16

Lougle - I was not aware that it was illegal either. I thought if the parent was present and gave consent, then it was fine.

AnnieBeansMum · 02/11/2010 17:16

13 and she has a tattoo??!! I am not being judgmental about them because I have a couple too, but this is just poor parenting in the extreme. I don't care how badly she pesters you, you are the adult and you just say no. Not much you can do now - just wait and see if there is any comeback from it.

Lougle · 02/11/2010 17:18

It's been illegal since 1969

MadreInglese · 02/11/2010 17:18

there's not many 13 year olds I know who could put up with the pain of having a tattoo

BelleDeChocChipCookieMonster · 02/11/2010 17:19

Sorry but no tattoo studio will do this to an underage child, with or without your consent. They do know that this is illegal.

Lougle · 02/11/2010 17:20

tattooing of minors Act 1969

MassiveKnob · 02/11/2010 17:20

oh well, I must be showing my ignorance then I have no idea about tattoos, and do not have any myself, but honestly thought it was the same as body piercing, parental consent.

What age can you have a tattoo, out of interest?

Trubert · 02/11/2010 17:21

Annie, that's not helpful now it's happened.

OP, if I were you I would ring the NSPCC or Social Services, annonymously, and explain what's happened. I bet they'll tell you not to worry.

And if their reaction is reasonable then you can confess to SS what you've done and how you didn't realise,just in case someone does refer you. Always best to get your side of the story in first.

Then you'll be able to eat and sleep again.

lollipopshoes · 02/11/2010 17:22

I have to agree with what the others have said - you really should have said no and made her wait until she was older - and it was legal.

There are some tattooists who aren't too bothered about the law as regards age if the parents are obviously ok about it - I guess they figure that the parents are the ones who will complain and if they're happy...

There really is nothing you can do about it now - it's done.

I doubt, however, that anyone will be telling the police or SS that she has had this done, and if they do, you will just have to explain it to them as you have done here.

In the future though, it may be an idea to make it clear that YOU are the parent and no amount of nagging will get her what she wants.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 02/11/2010 17:22

The pain of having a tattoo.... but they don't hurt some people, none of mine hurt and they are all in really bony places!

TitsalinaBumSquash · 02/11/2010 17:24

I alson know of a couple of places that tattoo under age people after hours. Its more common than you would think.

AnnieBeansMum · 02/11/2010 17:25

You're right Trubert, it wasn't helpful....it wasn't intended to be. The OP should be concerned about what she has done - I'm not about to feign support for something like this. Sorry if you don't agree with that.

ShatnersBassoon · 02/11/2010 17:28

Her school might contact you when they find out, so prepare yourself for that. They'll want to check that you did condone it.

LoopyLoops · 02/11/2010 17:28

Totally agree Annie.

BangingNoise · 02/11/2010 17:28

I would be extremely concerned. A tattooist is is willing to go against the law and tattoo and 13 year old is also perfectly capable of not following rules and guidelines with regard to safety and using clean needles etc.
Not only has the OP scarred her child for life because of the whim of the child, but she has opened her child up to many health risks, including HIV.

AnnieBeansMum · 02/11/2010 17:29

Very good point BangingNoise!!

BelleDeChocChipCookieMonster · 02/11/2010 17:30

I'm with AnnieBeansMum on this.

Walters83 · 02/11/2010 17:32

I remember many of my friends getting tattoos when they were under-aged, no one ever found out or got in to any trouble (most of them now however do regret them, especially my friend who got a satanic pentagram tattooed on the back of her neck).

However I think you now know you made a mistake, and I think being honest about this to your daughter will help, I know getting tattoos removed is very expensive but have you considered it? Also the last thing you want is your daughter to go round telling all her friends, who may then tell their parents so maybe give her a heads up?

You are not alone though, we all make mistakes.

Hope you sort stuff out.

GallumDrawnAndQuartered · 02/11/2010 17:33

If a child does all the piercing and tattooing at 13 what's left for when she's a grown up?

LelloLorry · 02/11/2010 17:33

Yes, my DDs school didn't allow tattoo's and DD1s best friend was actually excluded for 2 days - pointless, what was that going to do?
Check school rules, it shouldn't be obvious unless she's getting changed for PE, unless she shows it off, iykwim?

Maybe explain to your DD that it is infact, illegal, and not to shout about it.

Or report the tattooist if you want to prevent it happening again, some of them pierce underage children without parental consent too (personal experience, we had strong words).
But really don't worry about it, what's done is done.
Perhaps have a bit of a google next time, too.

2shoes · 02/11/2010 17:33

what BangingNoise said,
ds asked a tattooist about getting a tattoo when he was 17, the bloke said no way as he could be done for assault.
I would be very concerned about the standards of someone who would tattoo a 13 yr old.

phipps · 02/11/2010 17:34

I think you need to calm down as you sound like a teenager yourself with all the !!!! and the not eating and sleeping.

You have messed up big time and you have to deal with that. Now that you have allowed a tattoo you will find it harder to say no to the next thing unless you realise one of you is meant to be the adult and it isn't your newly tattooed daughter.

GallumDrawnAndQuartered · 02/11/2010 17:35

I also think you are seriously misguided if you think it is alright to consent to a child being tattoed. ou appear to be worried baout the legal consequences rather than the moral ones.

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