Where has my happy intelligent son gone?

[meemu28]

My DS used to be charming, helpful, happy and very intelligent.
For the last year though he has become increasingly sullen, mouthy, selfish and appears to have lost his brain. He is 11.

He wants to be treated like an adult yet can't accept responsibility for anything. i have agreed to top up his phone with £20.00 every month but he has to wash up at least 4 nights a week and keep his room tidy. Needless to say he thinks this is forced child labour.
His personal hygiene is appalling with me having to march him to the shower / bath before he will consider washing. Each morning we have the same arguement where I ask if he has brushed his teeth, he says yes, I check his 'dry' toothbrush and tell him to do them again. He tells me I am horrible and don't care about him. His breath is so bad some days I can't bear to have him close to me. Even the dentist chewing him out doesn't work.
His only concern seems to be his X Box, which I have removed from his room many times.
He lies over the smallest of things - Where have you been (around), have you changed your underwear and socks (yes), do you have homework (no)
Last night after spending all day running round after my DD 1yr DSS 8yr DH and DS, I finally sat down to read the paper at 7.30pm. I casually asked DS are you sure you don't have homework, only to be told that he actually had 4 different pieces to hand in on Monday. Asked why he hadn't done them earlier I was told because it is 'boring'. Cue 9.45pm and I am still sat with him doing homework otherwise he would be sat there till about 3am messing about with his mobile.

Any way starting to rant a bit but is it an age thing? Are most 11 year old boys like this? He just doesn't seem to care about anything but bloody X Box!

We all came out the other side just lovely, didn't we? They'll be fine - they all will.

I remember when I went away to Uni (at only 17 and a half) and my mum and dad were having major angst with my brother, deciding that I needed to tell them that I loved them and that they were good parents after all.

This was after sulking for three out of the 5 previous years: we had emigrated to NZ when I was 13, so I sulked for a year becasue my nasty parents had taken me away from the friends I had jsut made at secondary school; I was then nice(ish) for a year before they decided to emigrate back again (for the sake for my schooling); of course, by then I had made friends in NZ so this time around, aged 15, I was even better at sulking . I kept that up retty much up until I went to Uni.

Thanks to everyone for the responses. I haved LOL to see so many in the same boat.

I probably should have mentioned previously that my DH and I have been together for 7 years and my ex and I get on so well he brought his new girlfriend round for Xmas dinner last year.

I really hope that he will grow out of this phase soon as I have an enormous 'stress' stye from his sh**ty attitude.

Apologies but if I list it will be shorter:

1. He now lies about everything and I have turned into the food / teeth police. eg. 'Who ate all the chocolate bars from the fridge'? I have actually started counting them. I have started sniffing his toothbrush as I know he would rather run it under water than, GOD FORBID, actually brush his teeth.

1. He does not value the items that are his. ' Where is your (expensive monogrammed school) coat?' The reply of 'If I can't find it, I can't find it.' Or 'Have you seen my phone charger? ( I can't actually be bothered to look for it myself so I will leave it turned off for a week).

1. He still believes that I am enforcing child labour upon him by asking him to wash up after dinner, ( he has actually done this once as I am so sick of arguing with him that I end up doing it myself), in order to get his phone topped up with £15.00 and have £5.00 pocket money.

In short, if it was a monsoon outside and I asked if it was raining, he would say it was sunny. This is probably the main thing that is driving me mad.

I know some people have talked about hugs and other such candyfloss things and we do still do this, (I will also say sorry if I have gone overboard on the frustrated shouting), but it just seems as though not only does he not care about any other person in the household, but he does not care about himself. I brought him up to have confidence with himself and be semi-independant. He seems to have become a turbulent 5 year old again!

I should also add that my internet provider has messed up let me down for the last week so I hadn't realised how many of us were experiencing the same issue.