Relatives going on about dd tattoos

[shatteredmelon]

Dd starting to get more tattoos and family members just make comments to me or if they don't just make back handed comments.
I'm not keen on them as some now on face forehead but I want to keep my mouth shut and support her whilst keeping strong when speaking to her grandparents etc who are very judgmental.
I wish she hadn't had them either but she will be covered and a adult so want to be strong for her without falling out with others who are judgemental about them.
It's so hard.

They might cover up for certain jobs.

I had two tattoos one on my shoulder one on my leg at 18and 22 by 30 I realised it was poor judgement and had them removed at enormous cost and pain I think most people will live to regret them and tattoos look bloody awful when you get older

I have a relative with facial and neck tattoos who has a very good job, he works face to face with customers, so yes…,people do employ people with facial tattoos. I also have a female friend with facial tattoos who works 3 jobs.

Yes I would be upset if my dd got facial tattoos but at the end of the day what could I do to stop her? From experience of being young if you tell them not to do something they are more likely to do it.

@shatteredmelon why have it done then if you have to cover it for a job it shows it’s not socially acceptable

dd didn't make this thread I did. Everyone has their views and some of them I don't agree with.
No one answered my comment re the recent lady who turned out to be a prolific murderer but looked like a angel.

As the old saying goes 'don't judge a book by its cover'
Look beneath the layers as you might find you actually like the person with tattoos who was actually very good at their job and wasn't evil or dirty because they like body art. All they want is to be treated with courtesy and respect.

This.

I'd step back and see them less. Do they bring anything positive to your life? They sound judgemental and mean.

Because of people like You.
And because when they are off work they can enjoy them.
Hopefully one day they won't need to be covered up.

They get to have opinions. You get to say 'I'm not interested in hearing your opinions.' Suggest they start a crowdfunding page for your DD's tattoo removal by asking people to sponsor them doing a marathon or something. It might keep them busy at least.

Or just train them the way you would a recalcitrant puppy. Bad behaviour has consequences (you hang up, or go and talk to someone else), good behaviour is rewarded.

It's not socially acceptable to you but you are one person.
Try to be less judgmental. Be kind.

Thankyou

I would limit the amount Iof time I spent with people like this

They should be supporting her and being kind adults

I think it's to be expected. No one will not "not judge" someone with facial tattoo. It's to be expected, tbh. She will face harsher reality in the society.

I mean, she is making a statement herself, I'm sure she can handle it.

Huge sweeping generalisation there. I wouldn't judge anyone because I honestly don't care what they do to their own bodies so you are wrong. If people are that shallow that they judge someone by their appearance I think it says more about them than it does about the person they are judging.

i just wanted to say that a lot of HR companies advise employers to say no visible tattoos. The reason being , where do you draw the line ? Facial tattoos may not be acceptable in some companies but if you have not put something in your handbook then you are stuck . Plus what if someone tattoos something offensive ? You can’t just say no offensive tattoos because who is going to rule what is offensive ? E.g TERF . Someone be proud to tattoo this others would be very offended . So there are a lot of employers who will say no visible tattoos . And yes of course your daughter as an adult is free to do what she wants , but so are employers . It’s not a judgement of an individual it’s just protecting themselves .

personally I think she is old enough to defend herself but your relatives are entitled to their opinion as well all you can do is ask them to keep their opinions to themselves .

It’s not about being kind it’s about being realistic face tattoos are going to be commented on and judged

considering you said yourself that you don’t like them and wish she hadn’t got them, I don’t know why you’re getting so cross with people.

if I see someone with a face tattoo, I don’t think they’re a bad person, but I do think they have immature judgement.

I had a picture on my wall when I was a student that I loved -I used to lie in bed staring at it. I wouldn’t have it up in my house now. Tastes change, and to be lumbered for life with something you liked aged 20 on your face shows poor judgement.

Yeah people are judgmental
Just wish people could sometimes be nicer.

Sorry OP but you'll have to just grow a thick skin over this. It won't fully stop because unfortunately it is seen as 'yuck' and 'unemployable' by the vast majority. I know people with facial tattoos who are very successful but still don't get taken seriously. But that's part and parcel of living on the current society. I also know a few who are very unemployable too.
As some PPs have said, just shut it down every single time. Rinse and repeat the same sentence. It doesn't matter what your DD does with her body, or whether you agree or us on mumsnet agree with it either. It's about your DDs appearance always being attacked by people. So switch off all opinions and just tell them 'right, I'm leaving, I'm not going to hear my daughters appearance be attacked once again'. Fuck it, get mad, go nuts. Anything to get through to these people that their opinion should remain firmly on the heads.

I agree .and my daughter has tattoos and piercings.

no one has to be kind .

if someone has a face tattoo they are perfectly capable of dealing with the consequences .

And other people are entitled to their opinion about them .

@Hecate01 I agree, it says about the person judging. But that's just reality. People judge you by how you dress, how you act, how you speak, etc. That's natural.

Im not keen but doesn't mean I like people been rude.
You don't have to like something but you
Can be polite

Maybe your relatives keep bringing it up because they don’t feel that she understands the consequences

Yes, but facial tatto is extreme. Like I said, she is making a statement. She should be able to handle the judgement.

I think it's kind of difficult to ignore, since it's in your face. But with time, I'm sure they get used to it.

I have a relative who comments on my tattoos and piercings. I have told her to "please stop commenting on my appearance, I don't do it to you"