Relatives going on about dd tattoos

[shatteredmelon]

Dd starting to get more tattoos and family members just make comments to me or if they don't just make back handed comments.
I'm not keen on them as some now on face forehead but I want to keep my mouth shut and support her whilst keeping strong when speaking to her grandparents etc who are very judgmental.
I wish she hadn't had them either but she will be covered and a adult so want to be strong for her without falling out with others who are judgemental about them.
It's so hard.

Thankyou I try to be

Yeah I get that but as I said she is 20 and I was asking for advice on how to deal with people making comments to me all the time or snidey backhanded comments.

Thing is op it's what a lot of people think,hence unemployable.

Posters with tattoos please come on thread and tell us what you do and if you are a entitled rich person with nothing better to do than bum around and attention seek as some people think you are.
That's not my opinion btw

Why?

You've expressed to your relatives how you feel about their comments. I don't think you can any more.

I sympathise with you, I would hate it if a child of mine had any tattoos but when they adult, there's nowt you can do about it. It's their body.

Many people later regret the tattoos and have them removed. Just be there for your daughter, help her, if she comes to this decision. How you feel about such things at 20 changes as you get older.

You can support her by asking relatives to stop commenting, but you can't stop them from having their own opinions.
Also, facial tatoos will certainly be a disadvantage to her when she is looking for a job. It's not 'far from the truth,' I'd say it is a given fact, and it doesn't make people who say this as 'bigots' or 'horrible inside.'
Tatoos on other parts of the body are fine, but not on the face.

What I was saying was nasty was where the other poster said 'yuck'
That's what I'm saying is nasty.
But after reading some of the comments here they make me think yuck about what sort of people can be so narrow minded.

This is the way to go.

What part of job can't she do with facial tattoo?

Prime example recently is a serial killer who looked like the girl next door clean cut/smiley and she was evil. Didn't have one facial tattoo. So you can never tell what's going on inside a person. Looked the perfect image but was totally the opposite.

The best way you could support your DD is to convince her to get the facial tattoos removed as this will undoubtedly disadvantage her in life. I'm not surprised family members have opinions

A tattoo doesn't make it impossible to do a job, but it might make it very hard to get the job in the first place.

She would never do that as part of who she is

What's it got to do with them?
Critical people can make someone feel suicidal?

I suppose I was trying to figure out whether the comments are more directed at your DD or whether they’re actually directed more towards you. I suppose what I’m trying to get at is- are the comments about them thinking you should be doing more to dissuade her from getting these tattoos? No, you absolutely can’t “tell her what to do” but
face tattoos are likely to majorly affect her employment prospects and how people perceive her generally. I don’t think I could sit back and say nothing if I thought my kids were going to make a choice that I thought would ultimately really quite harmful for them.

Could you say something like “I wouldn’t have chosen for DD to get tattoos on her face and I’ve made my feelings known but it’s done now and there’s no point in repeatedly going over things. Please can we drop the subject?”

Yeah said all this but people still go on

Who are they making feel suicidal? I thought they were making the comments to you?

Its ridiculous to deride people for being being nasty and judgemental. Getting a tattoo is an active choice . It’s completely different to being stereotyped over things you can’t control such as race, ethnicity, sex etc.

Your DD has made a choice. You don’t get a face tattoo unless you want a reaction.

Then I guess your only options are to nod and smile, let it go in one ear and out of the other…or you can get up and leave the room/wherever you are when they do it.

It sounds hard.

What does she do for a living?

It's usually people who don't care about having a job that have face tattoos.

As others said t hough, just shut people down with "her body her choice". No need to discuss further.

You have told the relatives to knock it off, next time they start, just walk out. They might get the message then. It’s DD life, she’s an adult. I am not keen on tattoos if I am honest, but I wouldn’t ever dream of commenting/judging someone for them, none of my business it’s serves no purpose whatsoever.

She’s your dd, stick up for her and tell your family that it’s none of their business what she does with her body. She’s an adult and it’s her choice, not everyone has to like the choices she makes, you don’t have to like the choices she makes but no one gets to decide what she does or doesn’t do. Hold your head high, be proud of your dd as I’m sure she has many positives. If a relative questioned things my dd does I would not visit them, in fact this is the reason I don’t visit some family.

There is a big difference between tattoos and face tattoos in my opinion.

I have tattoos but every single one of them can be covered if needed. I work a professional job. Many of my colleagues have tattoos.

Facial tattoos are career suicide however.

Having said that she’s an adult and it’s her choice. That’s all you can say really.

Yuck is nasty, but there is something to the sentiment.

If the tattoos are part of her identity, what do the mean or represent to her? And if she is expecting a reaction she doesn’t get to be offended when there is a reaction.
Maybe her grandparents would be better off saying “tattoos?- I hadn’t noticed.”, though of course when someone goes off the rails every reaction is wrong and gets twisted to demonstrate to hate them really.

Having said all that- people shouldn’t comment either to her or to you beyond “Well I’m not a tatts person myself.”, otherwise you have to just stop them in their tracks.

What are her tattoos? Awaits massive drip feed about being Māori .