Relatives going on about dd tattoos

[shatteredmelon]

Dd starting to get more tattoos and family members just make comments to me or if they don't just make back handed comments.
I'm not keen on them as some now on face forehead but I want to keep my mouth shut and support her whilst keeping strong when speaking to her grandparents etc who are very judgmental.
I wish she hadn't had them either but she will be covered and a adult so want to be strong for her without falling out with others who are judgemental about them.
It's so hard.

If I liked the people involved, I'd probably say something like "Yes, I'm worried about her too-I'm not happy with some of her choices but I'm trying very hard to keep communication going and I need all the help I can get!"

Yeah but there's no need to be rude.

Of course people will look at tattoos especially on the face, you can't have a facial tatt and expect people to ignore it. Will people judge, like hell they will, you might not like it but i bet 10 years ago you would have judged too. There is nothing you can do about your relatives other than saying " i don't like them so stop going on at me" If they make comments to her then it's up to her to deal with them not you. She is 20 years old let her fight her own battles, she knew the reactions she would get so let her justify herself if she wants too.

I think what is horrible about the comments is that I would bet a million pounds these relatives would NOT step in to help and support your dd if she was having a crisis and needed help. They just want to sneer from afar and put the boot in.

It would be different if the comments were more along the lines of 'is dd alright? can we help? are the tattoos a happy decision she is pleased with or are they symptomatic of a crisis?'

I think you just need to be very firm and say 'We've discussed this before and nothing has changed since last time. Dd is an adult and is allowed to make her own choices, and she has the tattoos now. It's done. If you don't have anything helpful to say, keep your feelings to yourself'.

I'm also willing to bet these relatives would not put their hand in their pocket for laser tattoo removal is your dd changes her mind down the line. It's a bit aggressive, but maybe that would be worth saying. 'I totally agree- do you have a few grand spare to pay for getting them removed? Ta, that's great'.

And they are being narrow-minded- your dd might be going into a field of work where tattoos are not an issue, for all they know. I would expect lots of creative jobs or even work from home positions are more permissive in that regard.

People are making comments to me but my dd is not stupid and has eyes and ears.
Also tattoos are a very personal thing and a lot of thought goes into the design and meaning so it is rude when someone makes a derogatory remark.
It's called bullying and it's a big thing workplaces are trying to clamp down on these days.
I'm surprised so many people are judgmental about them.
Does having a tattoo render you unable to work and lazy 😂
It's really eye opening the trolls and snooty judgmental people who have made negative comments.
To be fair there have been slot of positive ones too but it does shock me.

Not all industries ban individuality.
There are hundreds of areas including hospitality, creatives etc that do not frown on people expressing themselves.
Not everyone wants a white collar corporate role.
I think you need to describe the face tattoos op. Are the delicate flower ones near the hairline or large tattoos that are difficult to cover

*if your dd changes her mind

Thankyou exactly.
She is

I would rather not as personal to her and could be outing.
Thanks for support though

👍yeah

Thankyou i am proud of her

You are someone who has manners even if you not keen yourself.

Are you sure it's not actually you with the facial tattoos OP?

She can’t have it every which way though. If she is mature enough to make the choice, she’s mature enough to deal with the comments. If she was truly at ease with her choice, the comments would be water off a ducks back. The fact they aren’t says enough.

Facial tattoos don’t make someone lazy or incompetent- but they may indicate someone that doesn’t that doesn’t think things through.

Oh I wish I was! 😂 I've got tattoos and piercings and, shock horror, they've never held me back professionally. I'm a manager in hospitality and earn quite a decent wage, which is just as well because tattoos cost a lot of money.

I don't understand the concept of tattooed people being unemployed, the minimum rate is usually around £50 ph for a tattoo so hardly doable on the dole!

Your comment people who have face tattoos dont usually have a job is that correct?
How many people do you personally know with face tattoos who don't have a job?

I don’t know anyone with a face tattoo that does have a job people with face tattoos don’t get employed

How do you know that?

That's such a generalisation.
Comments like that need the facts.
Anyone with face tattoos out there who can't get a job?

@shatteredmelon I have never seen anyone anywhere employed with a face tattoo it’s really bad judgement

She could probably get a job in a tattoo parlour

Regarding your relatives, they are probably just worried and disappointed. So many tattoos these days just look like basic graffiti, and if they lived your daughter as she was then they are going to be upset. They’re probably making comments in the hope she doesn’t get carried away.

😂😂😂if it was I would just say.
This is anonymous forum.

Disappointed about what?

Yeah