Where is the most affordable place to begin with surrogacy?

[Helpz2026]

I am looking for a surrogate, but dont know where the cheapest place to start is.

I don’t know but I do know the child in question, they see the woman who raised them from birth and whose eggs it was as their mother. There doesn’t appear any trauma at al as it was another woman’s womb.

I’d als0 add the skin on skin contact is not with the surrogate on birth but the woman who will be their mother, its immediate, genuinely it doesn’t seem to me to cause any issues. The smell etc is of the first person who holds them feeds them etc and they see thay as the parent.

Just steal one. That’s free.

or, find a very pregnant woman, incapacitate her and cut the infant out of her uterus. Messy, but so worth it.

have a look at when puppies and kittens are removed from their mother and ask yourself if maybe there is a reason for that and why some people treat human babies with less care than an animal.

fuck’s sake

You know there's a baby involved? It's not just about the adults, although parents always seem to put their own desires first. The baby will be separated from his or her mother at birth. How cruel is that? How scared will that baby be?

EBay?

Not scared at all from what I can see, and I think it’s subjective if the mother is the person whose womb it is v whose eggs it was.

but genuinly i see absolutely no trauma at all, the baby was delivered and immediatly placed on the woman will will raise thems chest. Skin on skin. I genuinely don’t think thr baby knew, I think we like to think they do, but the first skin they smell and who holds them and feeds them , comforts them, is the parent.

You mean the baby was removed from the mother who had nurtured it, grown if, fed it, gave it life for 9 months and handed over to a complete stranger?
So would you say the same if after 9 months the purchasing parents decided to hand the baby over to another complete stranger?

People say this to make themselves feel better about it all, because they know it’s wrong.
Buying a baby is wrong.
Taking a newborn away from its mother (genetically related or not) unless there are extreme circumstances is wrong.
Everyone knows this deep down.
Surrogacy should be banned.

The birth mother is of course absolutely biologically related to the infant, even if it was someone else's egg, the mother created the baby using her body, cell by cell, risking her life, mental health, body and future.
The child knows her heartbeat, her voice and to be removed from that to be handed to the commissioners is, of course trauma.
You'll be hard pressed to find anyone who is pro human commissioning on this site. Which is a good thing.
Theres are loads of excellent posts on previous threads on this topic, well worth reading.

Careful OP, surrogacy is not well regarded on MN.I

And with good reason.
Which is why I suspect this OP (who just happens to have this as their one and only post) is on a wind up mission.

What does the baby say about it?

On every thread about surrogacy I've seen there are lots of posts from someone who uses a name that sounds female, who knows someone who's been a surrogate or 'used' a surrogate and everything's turned out just fine. This poster bats away all ethical objections, pooh poohs the concerns about the baby's separation from her birth mother, and completely ignores all the posts about the much increased risk of medical complications for the woman who carries a baby to whom she's not genetically related. Quite a coincidence.

On another note, surrogacy is big business. There are people running agencies putting women in touch with would be parents and taking a very substantial fee for it. It is, of course, very much in these people's interests that their clients and human incubators shouldn't be put off by the inconvenient facts the anti-surrogacy posters tend to post on threads like this.

What makes you think you're entitled to buy a baby OP?

ive no skin in this argument, so I can only say what I see honestly, and no there is no trauma and never has been, I didn’t wish to say up thread but there are two children, full biological siblings, one early teens now, one 7, both happy well adjusted children in a happy loving family, who don’t appear to be traumatised and who see their parents as their parents.

I get there is a lot of strength of feeling on here about it, but I can say the surrogate was not vulnerable in the least and happy with her life choices and the children are well loved and in a happy family unit and do not remotely have any trauma,

it is what it is,

If it was her egg and his sperm why use a surrogate ?

You want to rip a baby from its mother's womb and you want to know what's the least amount of money you'll have to pay to do this?

it is what it is

Yes, it's called baby trafficking and a form of modern slavery.

But hey, let's go 'cheap', eh?

This is a wind-up post, I'm sure.

Buying a baby is a bit like getting botox...

Cheap isnt always best.

IMO You want to shop around and find a market where women are economically disadvantaged (so theres a deal to be done) but not totally impoverished.

I have no skin in the game either, and people observing me occasionally would not know that I am damaged by childhood trauma (completely unrelated to surrogacy) , it still exists, unfortunately.

Someone posted this article on another thread, it's excellent, and proves newborns know the mothers who created them, and they are very much not blank slates.
https://parentingscience.com/newborns-and-the-social-world/

I have told this story many times on Mumsnet before.

Dd’s birth went quite wrong and I had a massive PPH and spent the first few hours of her life drifting in and out of conciousness. Dh looked after dd and did everything right. Skin to skin, held her, talked to her (and he had been talking to her in the womb - and me whilst she was in the womb so she would have recognised his voice.

But dd was still struggling. Her colour was poor, her breathing was worrying and she kept giving these little moans. The midwives were about to get the doctor when they decided to first get him to lie her on my chest. I barely remember it as I was so ill but apparently he lie her down and she immediately gave a big sigh and her breathing suddenly went much much better. Within 10 minutes she was absolutely fine.

She needed me. And only me.

Before that I thought the idea of altruistic surrogacy was lovely. Such an gift! After that I thought it was horrific.

I had a horrific childhood, genuinely, and I am saying these kids are not remotely traumatised they are happy well adjusted and much loved children,

Well how lovely for all the adults involved that they were able to buy and sell babies with such an agreeable arrangement.

Unfortunate for the babies, though, who had absolutely no say in being taken from their mother at birth and handed to complete strangers.

You may believe that they are not traumatised by it, but that kind of profound and utter loss experienced at a pre-verbal, pre-conscious stage usually shows up in adulthood as anxiety, depression, eating disorders and addiction. It literally changes the structure of the brain. There may be a good few more years before those chickens come home to roost, but they will and when they do, it won't be pretty.

Hysteria is an accusation that we tend to avoid on Mumsnet, given that it is an insult that has so often featured in misogynistic dismissal of female views.

Was the surrogate really ‘pampered’. Was a genuine assessment made of the potential costs of disability or death arising from or in consequence of the pregnancy and childbirth, with generous insurance taken out to compensate her or her family in the event of things going wrong? It’s a higher risk activity than sky diving!

I doubt it. And many ill effects of pregnancy and childbirth come home to roost only in later life with incontinence and so on. Surrogates are never truly compensated.

It’s pretty foul on a forum with a large community of feminists, to ask ‘how can I buy a baby cheaply’. I’m sorry for whatever circumstances find you unable to have a baby of your own, but this is not the answer. Surrogacy is morally abhorrent and should be banned.