What has been your experience? Looking for advice

[Parkzy87]

Hello everyone, I am expecting a backlash so I'm buckled in ready, but please if you agree with surrogacy or not don't leave negative comments. What has everyones experience been with surrogacy? I am a male IP.
I know it's not pre set for time line or costs but how long has it taken people to meet a surrogate and what was the total cost. What agency did you use? And what advice/information did you wish you knew at the beginning.

Thank you

My advice would be don't buy a baby.

So you want to commission a baby? Not creepy and child trafficy at all.

Are you single?

I'm sorry you've had unhelpful comments so far. I have friends who now have a beautiful daughter through surrogacy. She is biologically the father's. It took 2 years for them to go through the signing up, legal process, meeting a surrogate and falling pregnant. Then obviously 9 months until the birth. I don't know the name of the agency though I'm sorry, but I think its cost them around £25-30k in total.

🤔 not the advice I was asking for

No I'm in a relationship if 13 years

Thank you so much 😊 it's a sad world when people have enough time on their hands to scroll through posts just to to be hateful 🙄

Nobody is scrolling through posts to be hateful. Children are not commodities to be bought and sold, this is a site for mothers, they understand the importance of the maternal bond and that wilfully depriving a child of this to fulfill adult desires is wrong. Nobody has the right to a child. A child has the right to their mother.

It’s not people being hateful. It’s people pointing out it’s wrong to buy and sell humans, either whole or parts. Just wrong.

Being against human trafficking is not hateful.

Commissioning babies to be ripped from their mothers straight after birth is.

Hope that helps.

Goodness, OP, if that is your response to an anonymous poster on a website you will need a much stronger seatbelt to deal with the reactions you will get in real life.

Personally I am with the idea that surrogacy is buying a baby using someone else’s body. Unless that is you can find a friend or relative to be your mobile incubator, put their own life on hold for at least a year , undergo unpleasant preparatory medications and risk their emotional and physical health for free.

Ask yourself why a woman would be so desperate for money that she would do all that to herself for total strangers. Ask yourself who gets paid if you used a surrogacy agency . Ask yourself whether you think it right that a newborn child is taken from its mother within minutes of birth and handed to strangers whose only link to it is a few drops of sperm and a bank account. Ask yourself how you would answer the hundreds of questions that child would ask when old enough.

What's a 'male IP' please?

What's a male IP? 🤔

🍿

What's a 'male IP' please?

Male intended parent. IPs are the people who will get the baby

Unfortunately your choice of lifestyle has dictated that you cannot have children.

I'm against surrogacy, especially commercial surrogacy. But this is a pretty revolting thing to say. What lifestyle choice are you referring to? Infertility? Homosexuality? We don't know the sex of OP's partner but I assume they are either a man, or a woman who cannot carry a child. Neither of those are a choice of lifestyle.

I'm referring to the fact that whether OP is heterosexual or homosexual he does not have the tools to have a baby i.e. a woman. Why is that so offensive?

I'm referring to the fact that whether OP is heterosexual or homosexual he does not have the tools to have a baby i.e. a woman. Why is that so offensive?

Well he has a partner, so if he's heterosexual he has a female partner.

It was your use of the words "choice of lifestyle" when talking about somewhere who is either homosexual, or who has a female partner who is infertile.

It took me over 6 years to become pregnant. I had received counselling and resigned myself to the fact that I would never have my own child but in all of those years of tears and frustrations never once did it cross my mind to purchase a baby human being.

I'm sorry op but I doubt you will find many on here who will be sympathetic to your wants and needs.
Children should not be bought and women should not be used as incubators for those with money.

Eh? I thought he said male IP?

He's either heterosexual, in which case he's choosing to go solo or he's homosexual. Both are lifestyle choices and both don't include a woman. A woman is a pretty important in this equation.

You want to be offended by what I said, but it's a perfectly reasonable comment.

He's either heterosexual, in which case he's choosing to go solo or he's homosexual. Both are lifestyle choices and both don't include a woman.

Yes, he's the male IP, but he said in a later post that he's been in a relationship for 13 years.

Being gay is not a lifestyle choice.

Then we will have to agree to disagree.

We had a wonderful little boy via surrogacy this year. He is not 'trafficked' and he was loved by us from the moment he was conceived
Sure, no one has a 'right' to a child but he has a wonderful future and an extended family that are besotted with him

It isn't hateful to disapprove of taking a baby from its biological mother at birth.
It is a traumatic thing to do to a baby, they know the heartbeat and voice of their mother and all their instincts know they are safe when in contact with that, willfully removing that isn't in the babies interests and it's for the adults benefit only... But you think not agreeing with that choice is 'hateful'.

I can understand you disagreeing, you've already made your mind up.. but branding a different point if view as 'hateful' is just a way to silence/dismiss a voice you don't want to hear.

Disagree by all means, but to close your mind by throwing any disapproval in a bin marked 'hateful' without even the slightest chink of recognition that where they are coming from is concern for the baby, even if you disagree, is intellectually and morally feeble.