Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Addiction support

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Partner gambling heavily and refusing to talk about his addiction

32 replies

Goingmad321 · 04/04/2026 09:51

My partner is a gambling addict. I looked at his bank account and he is gambling 500 pounds a day. I tried to talk to him but he has totally shut me down, angry that I looked at his phone. He is constantly moody.. step father to my kids and they love him dearly but he is so secretive and weird as a person. E

OP posts:
AnotherVice · 05/04/2026 13:32

So he gives you money and you give him sex, basically? You really don’t know what to do?

Original poster
Goingmad321 · 05/04/2026 14:37

AnotherVice · 05/04/2026 13:32

So he gives you money and you give him sex, basically? You really don’t know what to do?

We barely do, actually. I was a single mum when we met, working part-time due to having two small children and no help with childcare at all—only me. He came and moved in without me having a choice in hindsight, and I no longer qualified for UC as he had savings. Then I was trapped. He pays the bills, and in return, I say nothing about whatever he is doing on his phone. The kids have no idea; he is very, very lovely with them. It's not been mentioned by me until recently, and last year on holiday when I dared to look at his phone.

I actually would love him to leave. I am ashamed of the whole situation. Everyone thinks he is amazing and has saved us.

We are not living the high life whatsoever; I am permanently in my overdraft. He just buys silly, expensive gifts that I don't want, loves spoiling us apparently. 😏😏 He won't help me with the dentist or anything important to me.

I have to call him as soon as the delivery arrives to thank him profusely.

He moved in after dating for a year of staying at my house on and off..

OP posts:
overnightangel · 05/04/2026 14:40

Kick him out. Submit new UC claim. You can’t live like this.

AnotherVice · 05/04/2026 16:24

overnightangel · 05/04/2026 14:40

Kick him out. Submit new UC claim. You can’t live like this.

This.

Poddy86 · 05/04/2026 16:29

You need to leave him, but you need support to do it. Contact Women's Aid, or similar if you have any domestic abuse support charities in your local area. Financial abuse is domestic abuse. He's not going to change any time soon, if at all. You need to prioritise yourself and your kids, and break away from him before the consequences of his addiction catch up with him. You don't want him in your home when it all comes crashing down.

Riapia · 05/04/2026 16:52

Very few gamblers cease gambling.
Gambling is an addiction and almost impossible to escape.

Sensiblesal · 05/04/2026 17:38

Goingmad321 · 05/04/2026 10:27

I found out because I looked at his banking app.. he is totally nonchalant about the issue just angry at me for snooping.. I had to because his moods are awful.. he spends money wildly on the kids and I which makes it impossible to confront him without feeling like a ungrateful b@tch.. ! He said he will do something about it.. he is telling me we cant afford things while he is putting huge bets all day every day. I was a single mum when we met and very poor.. ooh what to do? What a mess.

you leave. You don’t even like this man.

it seems you were with him for money & now the gravy train is going in a different direction.

if you actually wanted to help him, it has to come from him & then you help him get help

New posts on this thread. Refresh page