I miss being high

[ChangedmyMindNotUsingMyRealName]

That's all. It made me better at everything.

I've got one dose in my bedroom cupboard and I'm not gonna take it. I'm not

Get rid of it then

Bin it NOW to avoid all temptation. High on what?

Which drug?

Only in your head. To everyone else you were just high.

It’s lying to you. You weren’t better at everything. You were just numb to how high you looked to everyone else.

Dihydrocodeine. I'm just glad I didn't keep buying Oxycodone when I tried it. That would've be a hundred times worse I think

I'm trying to be a writer, and damn could I write good on that stuff

It's like almost all my life- force, all my motivation is just zapped now

I don't do any drugs and I've loads of energy

The lie that addiction tells you, is that you must have the drug to be a good person.

It's not true.

Do you want to share a bit about your story? Why you were using it, how much and why you stopped? And why you are now being tempted again.

It's difficult, because I don't know if I'm truly addicted to it. I stopped it yesterday and I was feeling up and down like a yo-yo. I kept bursting into tears.

It started slowly. I was buying it for my back pain from private doctors online, 100 30 mg tabs a month, for a few months. Then I started using them up within two weeks.

I just liked how it felt, and it was so nice being pain free

I started taking 4 then 6 pills at a time. I bought Oxy a few times online, and I loved it. But I knew in my gut not to keep buying that stuff. The Oxy.

I got a hundred dhc codeine last week and now I went through 92 tablets in a week, I was taking 6, 8, 10 at a time, Only once a day though

I don't know if it's addiction withdrawals I'm having or a withdrawal from my psych meds. I took them last night and I'm gonna stay on them.

I stopped because I'm about to run out and I can't buy more. And I don't want an addiction

I feel this empty gap now

Don't take anymore. Prescription painkillers can cause a lot of damage to your health

I think you need to access some real life help x

That’s quite a lot of pills to get through in a week. Do they have paracetamol in as well? If they do you will be taking very high levels of paracetamol which is really dangerous.

It sounds like you aren’t physically addicted but you probably are becoming psychologically addicted now. Abuse of opioids can change your brain chemistry which can take years of being clean to recover from meaning you can’t feel happiness or much else without it. Look at the threads under this topic for those with codiene addictions, this is a road you don’t want to go down.

Can I ask why you were buying privately and didn’t go to your GP?

No. No paracetamol. I wouldn't want that to happen to my brain chemistry. It's bad enough. It's hard to get a GP appointment where I live, and they tend not to be of much help prescribing for pain in my experience. Like they'll give you a two week supply of co-codamol, or tell you to take co-codamol and ibuprofen over the counter

But I know there's other things like gabapentin that can help

Please don’t purchase gabapentin that is even worse to become addicted to and get off!

What caused your back pain and how long have you been suffering? Have you tried anything outside medication?

It's been on and off for years. It started in pregnancy. Then my ex kicked me in the back one night. Maybe that had something to do with it. It's getting more and morse constant and worse and worse. Maybe it's from sitting at a desk all day, a doctor mentioned repetitive strain injury once. Hot and cold gels help a bit

seriously-you dont know if your addicted? your buying PRESCRIPTION drugs-why gp not give you them?presumeably -if you NEED them tht easy route?
You take way to many -at a time,for the dunt.
Thats as close to addicted as you want to get surely? oxy?gabbas?
you know these are hardcore junkie drugs.?
Hell on fire-- you need to speak to rel life gp/drug worker. WHAT psyc meds? how long been on them?re they prescribed?
Sorry i sound kinda harsh- anyone can land in a shitution..sounds like you know you need outta this one tho.

I don't know if I can do this

Prescription psych meds, from psychiatrist

Missing being high is a normal part of life that you learn to live with.