I miss being high

[ChangedmyMindNotUsingMyRealName]

That's all. It made me better at everything.

This has happened so fast. I didn't even know this was addictive

I do understand, god knows how many times I’ve lingered in the wine aisle thinking surely one won’t hurt now but by getting rid you are taking back the control, think of it like an abusive boyfriend, would you keep him so it didn’t feel so sudden, I’ll be honest it will always be sudden and it will be hard but I can also tell you it’ll be the best thing you do, be strong and remember there is help xx

I understand you totally!! Been sober and off amphetamines for 11 years and still have the odd craving and totally want that feeling again.
It was a great feeling - that's why we did it, let's be honest!

But the downsides are absolutely never worth the old high.

Look it up online.

Prescription painkillers are addictive.

Not only are they addictive, they cause physical damage to the body.

My head hurts too

Is their an addiction nurse or support facility in your area?

I would never tell this to the NHS. I might really need painkillers one day

I don't think I need help anyway. I think I can handle it

It sounds like you do need help OP.

You will always be chasing the high, and very very quickly, you won’t be able to achieve that again.

You need to look at other ways of improving your life.

There are some very good addiction support groups that don't have anything to do with the NHS.

And you can see them one on one, and stay anonymous.

A lot of the counsellors there are former addicts.

I really don’t understand how you could get these medications from online pharmacies and in such quantities.

There's a few European pharmacies that cater to the UK. They write the prescription in Ireland. They do have prescribing limits, though. I bought the last batch somewhere else

Honestly I’m not trying to patronise you but that’s exactly what I thought until I nearly lost everything, you’ve posted here so you must think deep down there is an issue and you shouldn’t fear telling your gp, if you did need pain meds in the future they can tailor that to you, don’t fear judgement and don’t fear the future, nobody is there to judge you even though you will always judge yourself but you can do this, it’s hard and you’ll always be an addict but life is so much better when you’re sober/clean xx

Also don't be embarrassed about telling anyone you're addicted. These people are used to seeing people addicted to things. They will want to help.

I just want to make you aware of how dangerous these prescription painkillers are.

Doctors don't really tell you.

Matthew Perry (friends tv show) died after becoming addicted to prescription painkillers.

They are very seriously bad for you.

Or maybe doctors do, which is why people buy them off dodgy sites.

Well I was given a very strong prescription painkiller by a doctor once.

She never talked about side effects once.

In fact I have found that my doctor never talks about side effects for any drugs if she gives them to me. I had to look them up myself.

No, I know docs and pharmacists say it, this is highly addictive. But I didn't believe them. I been taking them here and there for years and I thought they were weak

I'm trying to take my mind of it doing a little writing, a little editing and noting some ideas. I feel good about that, because I was scared I couldn't write without them anymore

You really need to flush that one down the loo

OP, are you sober now? Don't mean this offensively at all - just the way your posts are written - I wondered if you had been using (possibly drinking?)

Former addict here so no judgement, but it is relevant for people responding to you to know if you are.

If you are serious about beating addiction and substance misuse issues then that is brilliant - and it absolutely can be done. Personally I think the SMART addiction recovery handbook is a good place to start - in fact the SMART approach absolutely changed my life. Its very CBT based, and quite different to AA (which also helps many people of course) although there are still meetings if you want! But it doesn't carry the same, once an addict always an addict thing, which for me made AA a no go - I don't intend to label myself an alcoholic for the rest of my life because at one point I used to drink too much. I do intend to stay sober for the rest of my life however!

Anyway, you don't need all this detail right now. SMART would be my recommendation - the workbook will help you identify your triggers, give you strategies to cope with cravings and so on.

Good luck! You absolutely can beat this. And it's not your fault you got to this point, and it's fucking tough, but you can do it!

@Ilovelurchers No, I've not taken anything today, no alcohol either. I am feeling a little funny though, It might be I just started taking my meds again last night after stopping for a few days. Or, as well, I am a bit of an odd- one-out, compared to most people. (I always have been and I'm ok with it)

People seem to find me annoying, though in general

Looks like I just killed my own thread...

No it's just that people are trying to help you but you're not taking any suggestions