How do I tell the gp the mess I'm in

[pleasedontjudgemeidontneedit]

I'm hugely dependent on codeine, it is prescribed but I take way over what I'm meant to 500-600mg daily which means I run out early every time. This means I can't taper done properly because I run out then have to buy otc and then it starts again. My husband has forced me to call the gp and tell them, I'm just waiting for them to call. I'm terrified though. Terrified they're going to call ss on me. I'm a normal person, I'm not a druggie on the streets, I'm not a scumbag, I'm a young mother of 3 kids who are my whole life.
I have my own home, job, husband etc but I am addicted to codeine through being prescribed them years ago for back pain which was never investigated. I now know that back issue is a herniated disc and it causes sciatica. I can't stop taking them as I get horrible withdrawal symptoms and I can't function. Please help me I don't know what I'm meant to do

Stick at it. Don't put yourself under too much pressure xx

Hi everyone, I've had a rough night. I've dropped 256mg in one go, so that is all the otc. I've just had enough of being this way and want it at least half way done with.
So I am withdrawing atm but luckily still getting some codeine in my system with the prescribed codeine.
My legs literally felt like they were on fire last night, I've never felt an ache so bad! Dreading today

My head is banging and I can't stop yawning 🥱

You can do this! Just get though today with whatever it takes. Tomorrow will be so much better ☺️

I'm so worried the gp are still going to make me drop down on Friday. The last two weeks now she said she will hold but she hasn't and prescribed me 1 tablet less, so I've been forced to taper regardless while I also drop the otc.

Opioid withdrawal can happen very quickly and so you might find that by Friday, even though it's only two days away, you are in a position to be able to drop a further tablet. But also the GP might not drop any tablets so I wouldn't worry at this stage anyway as it's possibly for nothing. I would concentrate your efforts on getting through today, tomorrow and Friday are for future you to worry about!

Yes maybe you're right, atm I just feel rotten and counting down the hours until I can have my next lot of tablets. Hate this feeling, I understand why I've put it off for so long, facing the reality of withdrawal, it's awful. And to think I still actually have codeine in my system yet I feel this awful, imagine I was going cold turkey !!!

Thank you so much everyone for your continued support, it really helps having somewhere I can write down my feelings without judgement

Hi op. I just wanted to chime in to let you know you're not alone. I was addicted to codeine for 7 years. I was low level by comparison but only because I couldn't get hold of my own prescription, was stealing my mum's (yes I know how awful that sounds) and I was too scared to over do the otc ones. It's a horrible addiction because it just feels so pointless. The effects of it are short lived and your whole day just clings to the next time you can have a dose. No one knew I was addicted either so that added to the shame of it all. I have small dcs, too.

The positives are I thought I'd never be able to stop and then one day I got ill and didn't want to take my next dose because I was feeling woozy already. The illness lasted about 3 weeks and once I got to the point of feeling better I knew this was my chance to stop. I'm 2 years clean and I'm not going to pretend I don't sometimes look wistfully at the solpadeine behind the counter (!) but I've not once given in and I feel so much better for it. You will too

Well done 👍🏻 you should feel proud of yourself. Do you think your 3 week long illness could've been made worse by withdrawals?
I am struggling not going to lie, even though I've had 270mg so far today and I've another 150mg this evening it's fuck all compared to what I'd normally have had in a day. I am just waiting until I can take that evening dose, I feel like such an addict, and that's what I am, I'm not proud of it but I am where I am today because of my own actions and I have to now face them if I ever want to be clean of it. And I do want to be clean, I knew that day when I made this post and that thought hadn't changed since, but it is bloody hard and I feel like I'm not strong enough

You definitely are strong enough Op. I have no doubt about it. At this point you know the tablets are not actually helping. It's literally "just" a habit. You've already reduced and what's the worst thing that's happened? You're still here! Yes you feel like shit but that's dealable with. And it will 100% pass. Honestly you won't believe it but you will soon go a whole day without one and you'll still be standing. No more shame or guilt or worrying about your health or what this is doing to you.

To answer your question, yes I definitely did get withdrawal symptoms and actually I think the addiction fuelled the illness - it was a mental illness. I can't say for sure but I think 7 years of it and the anguish that went with it caught up with me and I basically just had a breakdown. It was horrific but in lots of ways that breakdown saved me.

SS won’t get called at all so don’t worry about that op. They will just give you a plan to wean you off them x

OP you're doing really well! Has your husband apologised? I hope he's supporting you again. Try to reverse it and think of it as the tablets making you feel shit, it's their fault so get angry at those bastarding things! Stop seeing them as the good things that make you feel better and that you really want. Also whenever you feel bad think of that as you beating your addiction, it's proof that you are doing this. You've got this OP, you've just got to keep fighting and taking it a day or an hour at a time.
Can you plan a treat for when you're clean? Rewards aren't just for kids! You deserve to have something to look forward to for your 'good behaviour'.

Hi

have you contacted your local drug service to discuss treatment options? Because you have been misusing your prescribed medication aswell as buying on top, it’s going to make the reduction being done by your GP more difficult for you. It will look good on paper because they will look like they’re reducing you from what you should have been taking…

What’s happening is you’re going to end up with a bigger gap in the amount of opiates that the planned reduction gap, so you’re going to be in constant withdrawal. And the lower you get, the more noticeable the 1 tablet reduction will be because it’s a bigger overall percentage of daily amount.

Drug services offer 3 types of treatment for opioid addiction.

Methadone - this is a substitute opioid in liquid form drank daily so you can stop the substance you are using. You’d be titrated up to an optimum dose depending on amount of opiate being used. As you titrate up, codeine use is reduced. Then you would be reduced from methadone very slowly and would receive support on addiction recovery by a key worker

oral buprenorphine tablets - opiate substitute but also blocks other opiates.

buprenorphine injection - monthly injection. Some people only need one or two and then they are opiate free and out of treatment.

I’m our services women’s lead recovery coordinator and work with women with addiction to opiates, crack cocaine and alcohol. Some people do end up on heroin due to codeine addiction, and also had jobs etc so please at least reach out to your service and ask about treatment options- there will be an addiction to prescribed medication team.

Can I also just say that people in addiction aren’t scumbags. In my professional experience a very large anmount are victims of childhood abuse and trauma, untreated mental health conditions, victims of sexual crimes, bereavement, abandonment, addiction to medication. They have been through unimaginable experiences and aren’t able to cope with the feelings, memories, flashbacks (PTSD).

there seems to be this misconception that all drug users are horrible people, but they really aren’t. There just isn’t the support available for them to come to terms with and manage trauma, so they turn to self medicating and do crime to fund this.

Anyway, I would recommend speaking to your service whilst you’re doing the GP led reduction, to see what other medication can be offered as you get lower- I expect buprenorphine would be offered, not methadone.

@OldBird79 How're you getting on? Was just reading back through the posts and came across yours, are you still taking a lot of codeine?

I expect buprenorphine would be offered, not methadone.

I hope so. Methadone is very hard indeed to stop and many people are on it for life.

@pleasedontjudgemeidontneedit . I've read all five pages of your replies.

I'm asking now how is your back, are you in pain or did your back recover but the addiction grew.

@pleasedontjudgemeidontneedit I have just read through all your replies (like the pp above!) - goodness what a difficult journey you have had.

I have had problems with OTC painkillers in the past, I started taking them when I was getting painful headaches due to a stressful situation. Started with just a couple here and there but slowly ended up on a max dose, and was having those painful headaches pretty much every day. One day I read an article about rebound headaches and felt so incredibly stupid that I hadn't realised that's what was happening and of course by then I was taking up to the max dose of both ibuprofen plus codeine pills as well as a paracetamol plus codeine pills. I can't remember how much codeine was in them but bizarrely I was far more worried about the paracetamol. I used to keep detailed time records of when I took every dose so I didn't take too many per day (as if I wasn't already taking too many per month!)

Once I realised I was causing more headaches by continually taking pills and also realised my behaviour was changing (going to different pharmacies so they wouldn't recognise me coming in frequently and getting stressed out if a pharmacy was closed for lunch so I had to wait an hour to get more pills) I thought right this has to stop!

I did taper myself off them but had no idea how to do it so at first just tried going cold turkey! No that was not a good idea so I just tried taking less on a daily basis and some days were better than others. I kept records of what I was doing. No way was I going to a doctor to admit it, it was too shameful and I didn't want that on my record! It took me several months and gradually the headaches subsided and now it's a very rare thing for me to need a pill for a headache, and if I do, I don't need 3 pills but just one with no codeine! However I cannot take ibuprofen, it does give me headaches very quickly. Fortunately my kidneys are OK but it is scary to think how fast one can end up in that sort of situation.

I know it's very difficult if your DH is giving you a hard time, but he isn't going through withdrawal and if he wanted he could just walk away, you can't do that. Keep going, you are doing fantastically and one day you will look back on this as a distant memory.

@justasking111 My back is in bits right now

It's good to hear from others who have been through the same. I didn't realise how common it was, and it seems codeine is more of an issue with mums

I feel better mentally today, but my back is killing and my legs ache like crazy, but I know this is my body trying to get that opiate reward ! So I've got a hot water bottle currently while the babies play together and it's helping

Right now we have a starting point so I can ask you some questions.

1. How long have you had back issues

1. Have you had scan, MRI, if so when?

1. Have you had any physio. If so how many visits, was it NHS or private?

1. Were you offered any other painkillers such as pregablin, gabapentin at any time?

I suspect your legs ache because your sciatic nerve is trapped. Ditto your back pain. So it's a bit of a red herring.

@justasking111 had a bad back since the birth of my first baby 10 years ago (sciatica started in pregnancy) and then it just got worse and worse from their
Ive had an mri in February 2023 which confirmed herniated disc
Had some physio in pregnancy which was shit and about 4 sessions
And never was offered different painkillers until a few weeks ago when I asked for some amytryptyline after seeing that helps with sciatica

@justasking111 some days it's awful, it goes down both legs and right into my ankle

I'm with you there sister. But codeine is not the right drug. Your GP practice is awful. Codeine is the oddest choice.

Unfortunately NHS physio is bad to useless. What you need to do is find a private physio who will write down a plan for you. You do their exercises religiously. If you need a stick some days get one, keep moving.

Mine goes from lower back into groin, my thighs burn, my feet spasm. It's like the worst cramp.