@Soul11Soul
Your position on all of this seems off. Your first priority should be ensuring the safety and well being of your children. Allowing them to spend time with someone who habitually drinks to excess of takes any drug in their presence is not ensuring their safety. YOU DONT NEED TESTS. You just need to not let the children go their. Even if they ask, even if they beg, even if they weep. Their father is I'll and can't look after them is all they need to know until they are old enough for more information.
As for you feeling manipulated? Why? What does that mean?
Yes- off. I've not had a great 5 years since we separated.
Because it's Easter holidays and he was doing week 1 and me week 2. And if you read my thread from the start we have worked hard on making this work for the last 5 years.
We have always put the children as priority despite marriage breakdown.
The binges started in Jan. I feel weak. I had my own set of issues 2019 which I am on top of now. But the manipulation that he can get off his head as he is on 'holiday' then I have to pick up the pieces. And food. He's back in work Mon.
I am nervous as I have discussed Valium, drunkness; I tried to keep connected to him as 'his only friend'
I will hold on to the children but he has a v odd family and I don't really have a lot of support (or balls)
I sound like such a wimp. But at least I know the children have had an ok day (I'm working from home), fed, bathed and watered.
Just terrified now. Sorry I just don't know what to do first. I'm feeling v mentally unstable embracing that I will have to apply for full custody. It is hard to juggle FT job and all that goes with this.
I am angry it was my week to apply for this job - it just feels like sabotage.
I will call 101 tomorrow as I haven't heard from him and I have no other choice but to apply for full custody and visitations with trusted people.
Devastated it has come to this and I have been enabling this for 5 months. I am extremely angry at myself