Just Surf, feat Lost and The Small Mercies

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

Hello and welcome to our support thread for anyone struggling with cocaine. Whether you want to quit, cut down or are someone whose life is affected, all welcome.
We offer non judgemental advice, tips, some silly chat and most importantly lots of support and encouragement.

Come and join and we'll all help each other surf the urges!

Has everyone drowned?

Fucked up big work day yesterday with my Tuesday comedown

Oh ponz, that sounds hellish.

Ponz Comedown Tuesdays are the worst. Have you got any left? Maybe leave it until it's a more convenient to recover. I once got some before Christmas, felt terrible next day and didn't touch it again until day after New Year. DS went to sleepover and I had a lovely afternoon indulging, drinking wine and watching the Sound of Music

Currently eat, sleep. work, repeat here....

Same hooch, I'm knackered!

Hi all, I was pointed in your direction via a thread I started the other day. Just looking for some advice/ like minded individuals and from reading through your posts I seem to have found some, finally.

Hope you don’t mind me joining the thread!

Haven't drowned! Just had a full on day, got home and having a predictably wobbly Wednesday evening.
All thoughts of whether it's a convenient time to recover are ignored with me. I wish I was as disciplined as you Hooch.
The Sound of Music on drugs though? Well I never

I wonder if I've got arrested development or something. I'm an irresponsible teen stuck in an old woman's body

So sorry to hear you're struggling Ponz. There's nothing worse than a full on day at work feeling like you've been run over by a tractor.

Do you think you've slipped back to dabbling a lot just because it's there?
Big hug for you anyway x
Sometimes I feel like I'll never untangle my life from this shit but no choice but to keep trying. It definitely helps to bore you all offload on here.

Oh hi Fellia please ignore my ramblings! Welcome to our thread. I'd love to hear a bit about how you've ended up here, we won't judge. Welcome aboard.

Hello Fellia, welcome on board!! What thread was it?! We are all very nice here and despite having collectively limited will power ARE improving! (very gradually!)

This week I think I will fall off the board on Friday.

Are you having a premonition Serial?

Thank you. I am also very limited in my powers ability to say no, ever

I can’t seem to link to my previous post as I’m on the app but hopefully I’ve managed to c+p it, I will try to bold it at the bottom but no promises sorry for the mammoth post.

I fell off the wagon (is it surfboard here?) 2 nights ago and felt awful yesterday. Wasn’t worth it in the slightest but it’s always a great idea at the time. Sometimes I think the anticipation of getting some is almost as good as the actual high
*
Previous post: I think I’m addicted to cocaine*

I don’t take it everyday. But I have been taking it on and off for 11 years. It has gone from 3/4 times a week to once a fortnight and everything in between.

It’s got to the point where I cannot go out for “drinks” without thinking about it. And the more drinks I have the more likely I am to order some.

It’s always on the back of my mind. When I take it I feel amazing and then the next day I feel like shit (depending on how much I’ve taken/ drunk - sometimes I pretend I’m fine and it’s a one off)

I never miss work, I function like a normal person day to day but I just cannot shake this thing which is on my mind all the bloody time. Even when I’m not taking it.

If I stop for a few weeks I forget how bad the comedown is and will order some.

It’s like a never ending cycle and I don’t know how to get out

Just spotted your thread in Addiction Support fellia and I think you might be me. Even down to the never having time off work/pretending I'm normal and thinking I don't have a problem because I can function day to day.
It's awful eh?
I'm sending you a shiny new surfboard and hopefully some positive vibes

Thanks Lost! Glad to be aboard.

It’s pretty shit isn’t it? I’ve got friends coming over this weekend and I’m feeling a mixture of panic/ excitement at not wanting to get some but also wanting to. Sounds ridiculous. I don’t want to but I know that I more than likely will think “fuck it,it’ll be fine” after 2/3 glasses of wine. I can’t help it. Which is something I obviously have to work on but that’s easier said than done.

Also I'm not an expert but I find it easiest to set myself small goals e.g. a clean week, you know just baby steps at the moment. I've progressed in that I can ride out the cravings (not always) but I know what you mean, it's always there on your mind.

Do you have any strategies to cope with the cravings? There must be some will power in you if you can go a few weeks clean! Are there any small goals you could set yourself? (sorry I seem to have turned into an amateur drugs counsellor )

Yes, I've gone all psychic lost!

Fellia, welcome to the club you've earned some armbands!

Haha thank you both!

Lost I do the same with friends. I somehow turn in to this expert at giving advice/ coping mechanisms, all of which I know to be true but cannot actually implement within my own life.

Eg if you feel like getting some, think about the impact it will have on you the next day, think about what you could spend that money on instead, how it’s not worth it etc. But I’ll get some anyway because it’s worth it at the time and “you only live once” so why not? I’ve tried to educate myself on the cocaine industry/ health effects/ social repercussions etc to within an inch of my life, but that feeling just overpowers all of it. Sorry, I probably sound crazy,

Hi Fellia, welcome. I actually saw your other thread when I was having a general nose on the addiction board and that someone pointed you over here. Was gonna say come on over but thought you'd find your way if you wanted to. Flatwhite is on that one and is doing brilliantly!

In other news I have a bad feeling about this weekend too. DS is on one possibly two sleepovers Although don't think Mr Rehab is talking to me as I didn't invite him over last time. Every cloud and all that....

Ps you don't sound crazy. I'm always dishing out good advice about why not to do it and then blatantly ignoring it myself... on the same day!

Oh good Lord we're all experts on the theory not so great in practice. We can aim for improvement though.

Hoochi same day here too, or a matter of hours

Evening all.
It's Friday and wobbly board time. Hope all you lovely surfers are putting our theory into practice and have some virtuous plans for the weekend..?
Mystic Serial did your premonition come true?

I'm currently taking the edge of cravings by sipping lager in a furry jumper and glamorous woolly socks..so cold today!

Firmly onboard here although very tempted not to be after a crazy week at work. Thankfully I have a very busy day tomorrow that involves interacting with other people that can't be done on a come down. If DS goes on another sleepover tomorrow it could be another matter but taking one day at a time

Currently slobbing out watching the soaps, drinking vodka and eating crap. Happy Friday! x

Sounds good to me Hooch. If you have a free hand, give yourself a pat on the back

Ha thanks, you too Lost

Hi all and welcome Fellia! Have been mainly behaving as so busy with work and saving for Christmas

Dh had a mate over tonight who wanted some but dh said no. He left all of a sudden and then dh told me about their conversation once he left. I'm pretty pissed off tbh I've never bailed on mates cos they didn't want to use.

Proud of dh though. Netflix and pjs for us. Ds has his school xmas fair tomorrow