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Addiction support

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Original poster

A Benzos/Valium/tranq thread

36 replies

lemonzest123 · 13/09/2016 20:52

Hello everyone,

I don't expect this thread will get many visitors as I don't think the addiction section is very active, but if anyone ever wants to talk about benzos I'm a willing listening ear.

Xxxx

OP posts:

Orchidflower1 · 20/09/2016 14:40

What dose are you on ?

Original poster

lemonzest123 · 20/09/2016 14:54

I'm not now but I used to have a problem with them x

OP posts:

Orchidflower1 · 20/09/2016 15:13

What dose and for how long? Been on them a while .

BastardGoDarkly · 20/09/2016 15:14

Blimey! There's an addiction topic!

Original poster

lemonzest123 · 20/09/2016 15:53

I was taking a non regulated benzos from abroad each is the equivalent of about 10mg of Valium. I started of taking one now and again, after 8 months was taking 6 a day just to function

OP posts:

Orchidflower1 · 20/09/2016 16:21

Did your gp help you to get off then? X

Original poster

lemonzest123 · 20/09/2016 16:40

Outpatient rehab....I have to say they were brilliant. Took 8 months but I got off the buggers. I tried doing a short term detox but it was utter utter hell. Felt not just I'll but completely insane (hearing voices, seeing things etc).

OP posts:

Orchidflower1 · 21/09/2016 16:05

Did your gp originally prescribe op or did u just self medicate? I've been taking for 10years plus

Original poster

lemonzest123 · 21/09/2016 16:10

Self medicate. You can't gets the ones I was taking in this country. A friend gave me some when I first found out my mum was dying to calm me down. The rest is history.

OP posts:

PortiaCastis · 22/09/2016 22:47

Hello I had a huge addiction to lorazepam. Devil drugs I couldn't function without them, at my lowest point I was taking them like sweets. I had a repeat prescription for them but took a lot more than I was supposed to. The withdrwal symptoms were awful. I eventually had to admit to myself that I was an addict but was in a bad marriage and they helped.but 8 mg per day was almost lethal
Eventually told my Mum and she paid for rehab. It was hell but I did it.
I'll be forever grateful to my Mum as I found out what these pills can do to you and she also looked after dd for me while I was in the clinic.
Anybody needs help I'm here

Orchidflower1 · 23/09/2016 11:00

Been taking Diazapam for 12years weaned down from 6mg to 0.5mg until 3months ago when anxiety terrible again now back up to 2 -2.5 a day

PortiaCastis · 23/09/2016 12:02

Orchid Anxiety is awful, I understand but please do not feel guilty. We don't take these pills as a Friday night high do we? I wish you well and hope your anxiety diminishes.
I couldn't start my day without lorazepam I was very anxious and addicted.. I'm with you I know how it feels so you have my support and no judgement here. If there's anyway I can help at all please ask .

Original poster

lemonzest123 · 23/09/2016 15:36

Lorazapam is v.similar to what I was taking. I needed two just to leave the house in the morning. The withdrawal is HELL isn't it

I honestly never dreamed I could be so ill. I thought I might vomit or get bad headaches or something but it was so much worse. The depersonalisation was unspeakably awful. I couldn't leave the house in withdrawal, the sky felt like it was swooping down on me. The insomnia was near constant. So so so glad I'm off the buggers!

orchid the littler incriminates are hard I think, because your tolerance has readjusted. When I was on my taper I went from 30mg Diaz down to nothing, going down 2mg a fortnight. Hardest by far was going from 6mg to 4mg.

OP posts:

Orchidflower1 · 23/09/2016 16:49

I saw gp today saying I was worried I'd taken more and said that she has patients who were prescribed 50mg in the 1960s and are not able to get less than that now and that these days they wouldn't let you have that much.

Original poster

lemonzest123 · 23/09/2016 17:03

Yep that's what the clinic said - unless you're tapering they'd never prescribe you that much. Pharmacist's face nearly fell off when I handed him a script for 30mg!

One junior Pharmacist said "Be careful, these are very addictive" and I just pointed to the bit on the script that said "Addiction Centre" and said "I KNOW!"

OP posts:

PortiaCastis · 23/09/2016 17:26

Yes the withdrawal is sheer unadulterated HELL
I was in the clinic with a woman who had been taking them for about 30years. A new GP wouldn't prescribe her any at all and she had a seizure and because of that got a rehab place.. Tapering off is how I did it but I felt the 3mg to 1mg per day was the worse. If I'd been at home who knows what I would have done!
Its awful that my Mum had to pay to help me yet a GP prescribed them and put them on a repeat. They didn't tell me the damn things were addictive then but I think they do now.
Addiction is nothing to be ashamed off, nobody wants to be an addict and I believe that of alcoholics too. The drug blots everything out at first and before you realise it you become dependent.
I was told two things in the clinic
1, admit to yourself you have a problem (yes we know)
2, Hate the pills not yourself for becoming addicted to them
Second point helped me a lot

Original poster

lemonzest123 · 23/09/2016 18:07

Hmmm yep that all sounds very familiar and you have my sympathy!

It took me a long time to admit I was addicted. I mean I KNEW I was but I sort of didn't care as long as I kept getting them.

I struggle with hating the pills, especially since I'm helping to nurse my dying mum and there is morphine and benzos everywhere. Constantly just want one to take some of the pain away.

OP posts:

Original poster

lemonzest123 · 29/09/2016 13:51

Urgh....relapse temptation very strong at the moment.

OP posts:

LifeBeginsNow · 29/09/2016 14:03

I'm glad this popped up today. I've got some 2mg diazepam prescribed from the doctor (reluctantly) to help with anxiety (ongoing chronic pain issue).

I've done well not to take them (I know they're not a strong dose but they do help) but last night I got myself so upset with the anxiety of being able to care for my baby while my husband is away and also frustration with not being able to get comfy in bed that I took one. I slept from about 1am-6.50am. I couldn't believe it when my son woke me up and that was the time (I normally get about 2-3hours a night due to the pain).

Now I'm worried about self medicating to get some sleep and becoming addicted. It was nice to get some rest and on nights when I will probably struggle again, I may be tempted to use them.

My husband has suggested drinking a glass of wine before bed to unwind and relax but this is a concern for me too. What if it works and then I want to use it each day?

In the last year, the best sleep I had was when the hospital gave me a giant fat diazepam (no idea on the strength) after an a & e visit. I've thought about that pill a lot since and would love more but an addiction on top of everything else I've got going on is just an awful idea!

Original poster

lemonzest123 · 29/09/2016 14:29

I think the glass of wine to relax could easiky become several but even then if its a stark choice between wine and valium id take the wine! Benzos are so so hard to come off once youre addicted. I can overstate how bad the withdrawal is :(

OP posts:

PortiaCastis · 29/09/2016 16:21

I think there are other pills for anxiety. Would not recommend relying on benzedrines. Can only speak for myself but they are addictive and should be taken with a Drs extreme care.
The withdrawal is hell once addicted.

PortiaCastis · 01/10/2016 18:15

How's everybody doing?

LifeBeginsNow · 01/10/2016 18:47

I haven't caved and taken any more! I know I'm not addicted but I know how close I am to relying on them.

I'm hoping my anxiety and pain are starting to calm down and hopefully I can start to sleep again. That'll make a huge difference to me.

PortiaCastis · 01/10/2016 19:16

Well done Life Go back to your GP because there must be something to help you sleep which isn't addictive.
for staying off the diazepam. I know it's not easy.

LifeBeginsNow · 01/10/2016 22:05

I'm taking amiltriptaline which the gp suggested would help but it's been about 2 months and I'm not seeing an improvement.

There's a sleep course I've been booked onto which will hopefully help. I think they teach you about unwinding before bed and not scrolling through mumsnet all night

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